Betsu No Ai o Keiken Suru Monogatari
by AZ1087653
Summary: AU where another love means getting to see what the other side has to offer. The Story of Experiencing Another Love as seen through the eyes of three men who are taking that step into adulthood.
1. Nowaki Monogatari 1

Hello to everyone who is gracing this story with their presence. I am happy to see you here, well…technically not see, but see. I wanted to give a brief explanation to this story since quite a few individuals in the world do not like non-canon pairings. This story is not canon; consider it an alternate universe. The talented Risque Tendencies and I were chatting about how it might be entertaining to throw the three 'newbies' to adult relationships into something completely different than what they are in the canon. Readers know what they like when in a BL relationship, but what about relationships with girls? Ergo, this story.

The story is also swarming with original characters since there are not enough girls in the canon story to pair the boys up with, so if you don't like AUs or OCs then this may not be your cup of tea. On the other hand, if you are willing to put up with the ramblings of this poor writer's fingers, and give AUs/OCs a chance, then feel free to continue onward toward some actual storyline. Due to the AU of this story some parts might seem OOC. That is okay because this is fanfiction. I also tend to write in the 'perfect' tense a lot, which can sound rather dry, but it's the way my mind thinks, so I won't go about changing that.

Disclaimer: If I owned there'd be more pages dedicated to Terrorist and Egoist.

Timeline ~~

Nowaki was born in 1984

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 1

**(2002)**

It isn't every day that an orphan of no standing is able to make something for him or herself in the world. Usually, the sad truth really, is the individual does what he or she can to survive in a cruel and heartless existence, trying to pave way for the future. Without the help of family or friends anyone can fall off the straight and narrow and end up hitting rock bottom. Occasionally that person may climb out of the hole that was dug for him or her, but more often than not that person will remain in the bottom of the pit until death consumes them.

Nowaki Kusama, orphan to the world, would have none of that. He wasn't going to become a statistic that students in the future would read about in text books regarding high school drop-outs; or in his case never attending. The boy had studied his ass off, worked six jobs, and still managed to find time to sleep (at least a little). And after all his patience the letter was sitting in his hand. The letter that held his scores on his high school proficiency exam was just a thin envelope away from revealing whether the lad would be able to attend university or not.

Shaking with apprehension, he slowly turned the piece of paper over in his hand. In all his eighteen years he'd never thought a tiny piece of tree could hold the key to his future. Nowaki had informed his parents (the head of the orphanage and his wife) of his desire to attend university to become a social worker. He wanted to move Japan into a new age where children could be adopted, both in the country and out, so that every boy and girl had a parent who they could call their own.

The heads of the orphanage had been nothing but supportive of Nowaki throughout his life. Even when he had decided to leave at the age of fifteen and hold down various bottom-feeding jobs just so there was more room at the orphanage. The boy had to become a man a lot quicker than necessary.

After all was said and done, the boy who turned into a man, was licking his lips in nervousness and staring at the envelope in his hands. It was now or never. Slowly he tore off the edges to produce the results. Nowaki didn't even realize his eyes had been closed until he looked at the results.

Japanese language – 95th percentile

Mathematics – 98th percentile

Sciences – 99th percentile

Japanese history and government – 93rd percentile

English – 97th percentile

Kanji – 99th percentile

Tears formed in his eyes as he took in the site of his percentages. These scored would get him into N. University with no problem and probably even grant him a scholarship or two. He'd need to work harder on his government knowledge, but with everything else he was thrilled to be in the top 95% of all students who took the exam.

/GG/

Feeling utterly giddy and beyond excited, the future college student went to visit the Kusama Orphanage. He wanted to show his parents his scores as well as inform them of the university he'd chosen. If he'd been a child of means he'd have had no problem getting into Mitsuhashi or T. University. As it was he knew that he'd never be able to afford such extravagant places of study without quite a bit of monetary help from somewhere. He was willing to work on his undergraduate degree at a lesser institution and then see about a more prestigious place for higher education if it came to that.

Nothing could even begin to describe the elation he felt as he walked into the courtyard of what was once his home. The same playground equipment he'd played on all those years ago still stood proudly through all the wear and tear brought on by hundreds of children playing. No matter how long he was away the sight of this playground was still home.

"Nowaki onii-san!"

He looked at the door and no less than eight children ran from the entryway toward him at full force. Nowaki grinned and opened his arms to receive the onslaught of kids that were about to tackle him, probably to the ground. Within moments of the first child's launch the tall man fell backwards and landed on the soft grass only to be made the bottom of a dog pile. He laughed and wrapped his arms around his little brothers and sisters.

"Onii-san, did you come to stay for dinner?"

Nowaki couldn't tell who asked since someone was sitting on his face.

"I did." Came his muffled reply which earned a chorus of cheers from the masses.

The kids were slowly stripped off the man as an older child disentangled the abundance of arms and legs that covered Nowaki.

"There's a benefactor here with his family. Oji-san told us that we need to be on good behavior to make sure the benefactor continues paying for the institution." One of the older boys said calmly.

This wasn't a strange happenstance at the orphanage. Benefactors came every few months to ensure their money was being used wisely. The Kusama Orphanage always maintained a highly respectable, albeit humble, lifestyle. The children never went without the basic of necessities, and even though the heads were never able to adopt, they loved every single child like their own. Occasionally a benefactor would even adopt a child. It had happened thrice in Nowaki's time at the orphanage. Maybe someone would get lucky this time too.

"Then I had best be on good behavior." He said with a cheeky grin as the entourage made way for the door.

He didn't make it long into the abode before his mother came and took him by the arm and pulled him away from the kids.

"I'm sorry for this Nowaki. Your father got this crazy notion into his head. Just play along with him for now and we will see if we can't alleviate the issue later."

This caused Nowaki's head to spin slightly as she pushed him into the sitting room and shut the door behind him. The young man looked at the occupants of the room and bowed slightly before speaking.

"Hello, my name is Nowaki Kusama. It's a pleasure to meet you for the first time." He said in complete respect.

"Kusama-san, I didn't know you had a son." The other man in the room said as he stood up and gave a slight nod of the head.

"I don't have an actual son. This is Nowaki Kusama. He was left on our doorstep as an infant. We gave him our name because he didn't have one when we found him." The director stated.

Nowaki raised his head and walked further into the room. He looked at the women sitting on the sofa next to the man who had to be the benefactor. A slight nod was given by both, but neither stood up.

"I'm glad to meet you Nowaki-kun." The benefactor said as he took a seat. "I am Kichirou Tanaka. This is my wife Kohana and my daughter Shizuka-chan."

Again Nowaki bowed slightly before taking a seat next to the director of the orphanage.

Tanaka-san decided to speak again. "I am glad to make this young man's acquaintance, but I thought we were meeting another benefactor of this institution today."

Kusama nodded his head and looked at Nowaki who had saucer size eyes.

"Nowaki is the other benefactor." Kusama stated.

Everyone in the room was silent as Nowaki ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Come again?" Tanaka asked.

"Nowaki donates money to this institution. Not anywhere near what you donate, Tanaka-san, but he still sends us more than what he should based on his living conditions."

The conversation was confusing for everyone involved and it made a certain young man feel as if he were in a zoo on display for people to mock or talk about. Needless to say, he wanted to disappear for a while because it was very uncomfortable indeed.

"Nowaki-kun, tell me about your conditions." Tanaka didn't ask for this, it was a demand for information.

"Uhhhh." The man called typhoon couldn't really articulate at that point in time. "I work various jobs to pay for myself, but I send money every month here for everything my family has done for me. I guess I am going to N. University in the fall because I just passed my high school proficiency exam." He held out his scores so his father could see them.

"Nowaki, these are your scores?" Kusama asked.

"Yes, sir."

The elder Kusama stood up and wrapped the younger (though much taller) man into a bear hug. "I am so proud of you, son."

The smile at emanated from Nowaki's face could have lit a thousand Christmas trees. The praise was well worth the effort in his mind. Nothing could beat having one's father praising one's grades.

After the little family moment the two Kusamas drifted apart and sat back onto their respective seats. Both looked at Tanaka-san as if to request his continuation of questions. The family bonding time could come later, after the benefactor and his family were gone.

"What have you decided to study?" The questions continued without hesitation.

"Social work, sir. I wish to help my little brothers and sisters find permanent homes. I know the Kusamas would happily adopt them all, but currently such options are neither feasible nor allowed by the government."

Tanaka took the boy in with a slight nod. Even though he was very young, he was making his way in the world on his own. The child he'd spawned was a bit dull and rather selfish at times. She needed someone to help introduce her to the working conditions of man and while Tanaka was hoping for someone with a little more age and pedigree, this young man was stunning and hardworking. Both would ensure good grandsons to carry on his bloodline.

"What are your thoughts on family, Nowaki-kun?"

Now this was a question Nowaki could answer at the drop of a hat. Living with the Kusamas at the orphanage had been a decent living, but nothing topped getting to go home to someone you were related to, by either blood or by other legal means. Nowaki had wanted to have a family his entire life. Since he'd passed the age of being adopted the last option he available was to find a significant other and live with them. Hopefully they'd have children he could shower with love and affection.

"Family is the most important thing in the world to any orphan, sir. People cannot appreciate something like a family unless they have been without. I am envious of those who had families they could come home to and care about. I look forward to being in a family one day." He answered with complete truth from the heart and could tell by the way Tanaka-san was eyeing him that the answer was sufficient.

"Then it's settled. I will happily go along with the omiai."

Nowaki's eyes went wide as he looked at the senior Kusama. No wonder his mother had been flustered earlier on. An omiai, although he wasn't opposed, was not something he expected.

/GG/

**(2003)**

Nowaki stepped over the threshold into the humble flat his parents-in-law had found for him and his wife after they'd gotten married. The place was small, with only one room, but it was a home none-the-less. He smiled as he looked at his wife in the tiny kitchen cooking stir-fry.

It was hard to believe they'd already been married for nine months. The current college student never thought he'd be capable of settling down before he hit twenty. He knew at one point it was going to be necessary if he wanted a family, but looking at his wife's pregnant belly, he was glad he didn't wait. Within his wife was a life he'd helped create and he was going to help nurture.

Excitement wasn't even something that came close to describing how Nowaki felt every time he placed his hand on her growing abdomen. He and Shizuka were both very young and he had to work quite hard to support both her and their growing family, but his parents-in-law and the Kusamas were all supportive in his decision to start a family early.

Trademark smile plastered on his face, he took off his shoes. "I'm home." He stated smoothly as he walked in and put his school books down.

"Welcome home, Nowaki." Shizuka said from the kitchen. She turned to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Your child and I both missed you."

"Really?" He asked, placing his hand on her belly from behind in a tender hug.

"Oh yes. This child is going to be an acrobat when he or she grows up. I haven't had a bit of peace since waking up this morning. I think he or she is eager to come out and meet papa."

Nowaki was completely in love. Not with just his wife, but his soon to be child as well. There was nothing in his life he would change in that moment, except maybe get some food on the table. That could wait a few more moments though so he could cuddle.

Shizuka had turned out to be an extremely intelligent girl who was slightly younger than Nowaki. She'd had a good life with her parents and the adjustment to living within certain means had caused her some difficulties when trying to adjust. The marriage had come about quicker than expected because neither party were willing to disclose that they'd made love before the wedding and were with child less than two months after becoming intimate with one another.

The tale that was told was that Shizuka and Nowaki didn't want to wait to get married so Nowaki could start that family he'd always wanted. It was and wasn't a lie, depending on how a person looked at the situation. So, in the end, less than two weeks after a positive pregnancy test was seen, the two were married and embarking on a new journey together.

Back to the matter at hand though, Nowaki needed to eat before going to his night job. He worked construction in the evenings because of the pay and benefits. The third shift workers earned 20% more an hour and were given insurance as an incentive. While that made home time scarce, it was necessary for his growing family. Add that to the amount Shizuka earned from the flower shop job she'd taken over from her husband, and the two were able to make it without assistance from the government or family.

"What time are you going to leave tonight?" Shizuka asked as she finished cooking and began bowling up the eats.

"I have an hour before I have to leave. I am taking an extra shift tonight for some overtime. I don't want you working anymore until after the baby comes."

Leave it to Prince Charming to start lobbying against Women's Liberation, but when it came to the health of both mother and child Nowaki was willing to take a beating.

"The baby isn't due for another few weeks. I think we'll be okay if I work another week or so. Besides, we can use the money."

They sat down to eat at a western style table that already had a high chair waiting for the new addition. Nowaki knew he should let Shizuka choose since she knew her body much better than he did; though he was a close second to knowing her body. He'd just done too much reading on the subject of pregnancy and didn't want to receive a call that spelled doom.

"I know you feel that way. But you've been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a while now and we both know that can be a precursor to labor." He took some rice and handed her the bowl as was customary at their table.

She nodded as she took the bowl. "I have, but they don't last long and they don't hurt. If they get too much I just lie on my left side and the discomfort goes away."

He eyed her for a moment and started to wish, yet again, that he could be spending more time with her in these final stages. Work and school were important though and she had been all but encouraging in his finishing school as soon as he could. Instead of taking the customary fifteen credits a term he'd bumped it up to twenty-one. Instead of finishing in four years he was going to finish in three years. This meant that in just over two years he would have a real job that he could leave at a normal time and come home to spend time with his family. Sometimes a person needed to be separate from the ones they loved in order to ensure a future together.

She continued. "Besides, I already told my boss that tomorrow was my last day till the baby was six months old." Nowaki smiled at this news. "And do you know what he said?"

Nowaki had a hunch it was similar to what the man had said when he quit to work a higher paying job and attend school.

"He told me I could bring the baby in and his wife could baby-sit, free of charge, after six weeks are up."

The man didn't know if he was happy or not about this news. On the one hand money was important, on the other so was bonding with the baby. He was going to let this be her decision since he already knew the answer.

"Just as long as I can come to visit during breaks between classes."

This was a normal conversation in the Kusama household. Both parties were content in their lives and where their lives were taking them. While it didn't start off that way, the two had grown to have a mutual affection and trust of one another. This was the type of love that didn't happen immediately like a flame being ignited by a match. No, this was a love that slowly dripped from a leaky faucet that eventually filled a container left in the sink.

After the meal Nowaki left for work and only stayed for a few hours. The foreman ended up calling the young man away from his job to tell him his wife's water had broken and was on her way to the hospital to deliver the child. Nowaki left his job with pats on the back and congratulations from all of his co-workers.

By the time he reached the hospital his parents-in-law were standing in the hallway awaiting his arrival. He was ushered into a smock and sent into the room where Shizuka was waiting. Nowaki stood by her side the entire twenty-three hour labor and was the first one to hold his tiny daughter in his arms. Once the babe was cleaned off he walked with her to visit her waiting grandparents, who were overjoyed to be introduced to Myu Kusama .

/GG/

The title for this story translates to, "The Story of Experiencing Another Love". The title for the chapter translates to, "The Story of Nowaki 1".


	2. Shinobu Monogatari 1

This chapter is rated M for sexual acts performed by minors with minors. I do not condone this sort of behavior, but I am also aware that the age of consent throughout the world is different than the age of consent where I grew up. If you are unable to handle sexual acts involving minors (from an American standpoint) then do not read the following.

Timeline ~ Shinobu was born in 1991

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 1

**(2005)**

One of the most important things a person can learn early on is to remain inconspicuous when traveling the outside world. The less attention one draws to themselves, the less likely that person is to be targeted by shady individuals posing as friends, enemies, or just strangers wanting to take advantage. See, the world is actually full of people who want to take advantage of others for whatever reason. A pedestrian can pass a beggar on the street and in most cases that individual doesn't need to beg for money. Some people give the beggar money while others pass the person by without a second glance. It all depends on the person.

Then there are those people who want money and use physical means to attain that goal. These individuals use pain, force, and superior attitudes to take what doesn't belong to them. In no way are these people any better than the silent beggar who pleads; they just go about extortion in a different way with the same goal in mind.

Most of the time a person who wants to jump in and change a happening should just walk. In some cases a good Samaritan may come onto a scene that actually does require he or she jump in. Rather than the beggar who is sitting at the bottom of the stairs into the subway, people should pay attention to those who are using physical means to attain their goals.

It just so happened that on a nice day a young man of fourteen had become the targeted in one such physical altercation. He was dressed in fancy private institute clothing and carried an expensive satchel for his books. This young man was a prime target for the lowlifes that plague the city looking for a free ride. So, not surprisingly, Shinobu was in the process of being taken advantage of when a man he barely recognized stepped in and saved him.

Rather than show his appreciation for avoiding an ass-kicking Shinobu snapped at the man instead.

"I had everything under control, old man!"

The man scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Sure you did kid."

Shinobu watched as the man walked off in the direction he needed to go, so he decided to take a different route to get to the hotel. His family was going to kill him if he showed up late for whatever it was they wanted him to attend. In all actuality the boy didn't really care one way or another what this big announcement was. He'd just found out he was being shipped off to Australia to attend a prestigious boarding high school. That was not part of his plan and it pissed him off.

The plan had been simple; finish school with his friends, attend T. University on his parent's dime, marry some gorgeous girl, have a few kids, get a good job, retire, die. Kind of a mundane existence, but he didn't really have anything he wanted or needed, so the kid was keeping it simple. The less he had to think about it the less he got headaches from all of the pressure his doting parents seemed to push onto him. At times he wondered why his older sister didn't get pressed so much, but that answer was easy. She was a girl.

Slowly the teen trudged through the streets of Tokyo on his way to the motel. The city was no different than a jungle. Tall buildings grew up from the ground like so many trees and passersby were no more than the animals that dwelled in the swamps and an oasis. A person needed to be just as navigation savvy to live in the city as he or she did in the jungle. One wrong turn could mean hours lost and one very pissed-off Shinobu.

As luck would have it he made it to the motel just fifteen minutes later than he was supposed to. He would still catch hell at some point in the next few hours (depending on whether his parents were willing to chastise him in front of other people or not) but at least he showed up. That was more than his parents deserved at the moment anyway.

The Peacock Room was in the new addition to the hotel. If he played his cards right he'd be there shortly and then find a reason for needing to leave less than half an hour after. The sooner he left the less he'd have to pretend to be on good terms with his parents. He and his sister got along fine on most occasions, but in the mood Shinobu was in at that moment not even he was getting along with himself.

The door loomed ahead and he wondered briefly if he should knock. It wasn't necessary though since the occupants were more than likely expecting him to show up. Leaving wasn't an option anymore so he pushed on the handle and opened the door.

"Shinobu, where in the hell have you been?"

The noise from his father was what greeted him as he set foot into the room and let the door close behind him.

"I got lost." He said nonchalantly. Better to just ignore the fact that he was late and get this thing over with.

"How uncouth. We raised you better than that." His father growled. "Get over here and meet your future brother-in-law and his family."

At the words brother-in-law the youth took notice of the others in the room. Had he known his sister was planning to get hitched he'd have been a little more respectful for her sake. What was it with his family keeping secrets from him until the last fucking minute?

Once his eyes landed on said future brother-in-law all of the color drained from Shinobu's face and his eyes hardened. It was the same man who had saved him earlier from the punks trying to steal his lunch money. Would this nightmare never end? Shinobu hoped that the man had the common decency not to bring up the incident and save him the embarrassment that would have surely followed.

He made eye contact with the older gentleman and was surprised to see that this guy remembered him. Shinobu would have recognized him anyway; it was the same guy who was always pouring over old books in the library. It was hard to miss the man who had stacks of books taller than his head taking up an entire table and keeping others from utilizing the space. The man needed to take that stuff home to allow others a chance to work.

"Shinobu, this is Yoh Miyagi. He and your sister will be married right before you head off to Australia." His father said as he grabbed the boy's arm and led him to the table to sit with his family.

"And?" Shinobu asked in a snide tone.

"And show some respect." His father hissed in his ear.

"Nice to meet you." Shinobu said with a hint of sarcasm. "Please take my sister."

The older man's eye brows raised, "You mean take care of your sister, right?"

"Whatever you want to believe, old man." Shinobu said as he lowered his head. This man's gaze was way too intense for the younger man and he just really wanted to leave.

/GG/

The wedding came and went in the blink of an eye. Before he knew it Shinobu was at the airport pretending to exchange pleasantries with his mother and father. All he really wanted to do was put an ocean between them and him, so going to Australia was beginning to work out. He'd not seen his sister or her husband since the day of the wedding ceremony. The only thought that even popped into his thick little head was wondering what their kids would look like.

After a false round of sentiment he boarded the plane, sat down next to the window and watched as he was flown from the country, his home, to attend school elsewhere. He wanted to cry…he wanted to scream and shout at his family for sending him half way around the world just so he could pick up on better English skills. It wasn't like there wasn't institutes in Japan that had English classes, but his family wanted him to learn to speak the language like a native and the only way to accomplish this was to send him packing. Well screw them. He'd show them what he was made of and he'd learn to love this foreign country like it was his own.

Sleep came and kept the boy occupied for most of the flight. Occasionally he'd listen to music, but for the most part he slept or glared out the window. Each mile of water meant a mile further from his home. The sleep staved off any homesickness that managed to creep into his head. Shinobu couldn't afford to be homesick when he was going to be living in another country for the next four years.

The flight, although long, left Shinobu feeling rather refreshed as he landed in Melbourne. The director of his new school picked him up on his father's request and took him to the dorms. It surprised the young man to no end that his father was willing to send him to a co-ed abroad school when girls were considered a distraction throughout most of Asia when in high school. Shinobu was just glad he'd get a chance to learn about foreigners in their own habitat.

Shinobu kept his eyes on the road as they swerved through the traffic and eventually landed at the school. It reminded him of some of the pictures he'd seen of Old London. There were stones everywhere on campus. Even the buildings were made of stone that seemed to be coated in moss and vine. Shinobu had never seen anything like it and for the first time in a while he felt himself again as the pain of being shipped off to another country started to disappear.

"That's him!" He heard someone shout. His English was not perfect by any means, but he could hold simple conversations.

Two boys, about his age, walked forward and grinned like the Cheshire Cat from Alice Through The Looking Glass. He knew immediately that these two were going to be friends of his throughout his four years at this institute.

"I'm Gabe." The taller of the two said as he stuck out his hand.

Shinobu copied the movement. "Shinobu Takatsuki." He kept it short and simple.

"Nice to meet you Shinobu." Gabe replied. "This is Mike, he's captain of the football team."

Shinobu and Mike shook hands and smiled at one another.

"We're your roommates in the dorms. Thought we'd come and give you a proper Aussie welcome, mate."

"Gabe, why don't you take Shinobu to your room and let him unpack? Afterwards take him to the registration building to register for classes and get a meal assignment." The director said as he walked off.

"Sure thing, pop." Gabe grinned at Shinobu. "I heard your pop's head of some school too, so I know how it goes. At least you don't attend the school he's in charge of."

Shinobu shook his head. "My father is actually just head of literature at a university in Tokyo, not the whole school."

"Either way, that's still a pretty big deal. Having parents as heads of anything means you can come to this fancy school here, but it also comes with the stigma of needing to pretend we want to be upper class. Mike's father is dean of a university in Queensland, but he won't say because he doesn't want people to think anything different of him than what he's capable of. Does a pretty good job of making his own name, right mate?" Gabe clapped Mike on the shoulder and the other nodded.

"Let's get all this crap done for you so we can talk about the cute Japanese girls you know." Gabe said with a sly smile as he led the trio toward the dorms and Shinobu's new home.

/GG/

School started out a lot harder than Shinobu had anticipated. He was going to spend the first semester in English study; which meant English all day every day. The English he'd learned in Japan was American English, but Australian's prided themselves on speaking The Queen's English, so some of the words he knew needed to be replaced. At one point he'd embarrassed himself by using words like randy and fanny in sentences only to find out that they meant horny and the vagina, respectively. He'd just been talking about a few of the foreigners he'd known from his father's school, but apparently names could have some very different meanings.

The one good part of his first week, aside from his roommates, happened on the final day of the week. He was on his way from the English department when he dropped his workbook in the hallway. Someone picked it up and handed it to him and the one who handed it to him happened to be a blond by the name of Lorelei Anderson.

Lorelei was the daughter of an oil tycoon and ended up at this school because she wanted to attend school away from her native England. Her parents agreed and ended up shipping her off much like Shinobu's parents had. The main difference being that she wanted to leave.

The two hit it off and for two weeks they could be seen talking in the botanical gardens on campus. Lorelei liked the plants and planned on studying to be a botanist once she finished university. Shinobu was drawn to her like a moth to a flame and it was likewise for her. Mike had even made a comment that they'd lost Shinobu before having an opportunity to cement him into their clique. Shinobu laughed and said that he'd still need his 'bros' even if he kept some girl around.

The fateful day in Shinobu's life, the turning point in his young career as a human being, came less than a month after starting school. After cheering Mike and the football team pummel another institute, Shinobu, along with Gabe and Mike went to a party off campus. This party was decidedly not something they should have attended, but they went anyway because that's what teenagers were doing at the time.

Shinobu was more than happy to accompany the others to this party to see what a western party was all about, not that he'd have anything to compare it to. All he really wanted to do was experience everything life was going to throw at him before he was forced to return to Japan and do whatever was expected of him as the first born son of a prominent figurehead.

He didn't expect to meet Lorelei at the party and was happy to see her in all her blond glory. She wore a dazzling smile on her face along with half a dress (or a whole dress without much fabric) and a pair of high-heeled shoes. The first thing that Shinobu recalled thinking at that time was he was glad his crotch was behind the couch because he'd just ended up with enough wood to build a house.

In complete embarrassment he went to find a bathroom to take care of his little problem, not realizing that Lorelei was following him. He was shocked when she walked into the bathroom before he could lock the door.

"I knew there was something going on with you." She said with a flirtatious giggle.

Shinobu turned beet red and ducked his head in embarrassment. Of all the times to be caught in the bathroom.

"It's okay, you know. I like you and I want to help you take care of…that." She said pointing to his slightly billowing pants.

"I am capable of fixing this problem myself." He mumbled without looking at her.

"What's the fun in that?" She asked not moving herself. She knew just by his body language that he had never been with anyone before and any strong moves on her part would cause him to bolt. "Here, let's sit down and talk."

She sat down on the floor and she nodded for him to follow, which he did.

"Have you ever been with someone?" He blurted out without thinking, thus turning his face a brilliant shade of green like he was going to be sick.

"Would it change your opinion of me if I said I had?" She asked.

"Not really." He said as his comfort level started to slowly increase when she wasn't looking directly at him.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" She asked.

"Not really. I never really thought about it, I mean I am fourteen." He said softly, ears a slight pink tint.

"Do you want to try?" She whispered in earnest.

He nodded slowly and she took that as an okay to slide over next to him. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his and slowly opened her mouth, hoping he was a quick study. He was and soon Shinobu was kissing her back and using his tongue like a pro. At one point she'd managed to straddle him and the two held each other as spit was exchanged in a messy and heated kiss. When they broke apart both parties were gasping for air and both were more than turned on by the situation.

Shinobu didn't want to be seen as a coward or a weakling in her eyes, so he started to push her to the floor and hovered over her with a wonton look in his eyes. She nodded her head and he fell over top of her and the two kissed again in a heated frenzy of passion and lust. Then things got really heated.

This was how Shinobu Takatsuki lost his virginity at the age of fourteen.


	3. Nowaki Monogatari 2

I still don't own and that will not change throughout the writing of this tale.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 2

**(2005)**

It has been said that the happiest times in a man's life are three-fold. The day he gets laid, the day he gets married, and the day his first son is born. For many individuals these are truths and not necessarily in the aforementioned order. Though in most cases one must get laid before one's first son is born.

Of course not everyone follows the rule of three. Many people have other happy days in their lives. Some of them seem redundant while others are milestones worthy of the front cover of the Times. New additions include everything from getting a car to buying a house, from having a daughter (not just a son) to graduating college. Even simple things like being able to read another language or leave the country for the first time are now milestones for people.

For Nowaki Kusama his third great milestone happened when he graduated from university with top honors. He remembered the day well.

The director of the orphanage and his wife (hereinafter to be referred to as Nowaki's parents for simplicity's sake) had volunteers come in to run the orphanage for a week so they could watch Nowaki receive his diploma. The Tanakas bought out a spread in the news paper to promote the graduation of their son-in-law, complete with a background story on the young man to show what a person can do even in the face of adversity. Nowaki actually preferred not to have this spread as it embarrassed him to no end. Shizuka would hear none of that though because she was extremely proud of Nowaki. Little Myu, just over two years old, was proud of her daddy as well. While she didn't completely understand the context of what was happening, she knew that it was important to daddy and mommy and thus she became that much more excited as well.

When the day dawned, which it did at five in the morning when a rambunctious two-year old child woke up, Nowaki let his wife sleep in a few more hours and he decided to take the first shift. After not being able to wake up at all hours to be with his daughter when she was a baby, he wanted to make up for lost time as quickly as possible.

The young man took the child into the front room, of the one bedroom flat, and sat on the floor with her to play with English alphabet blocks. Nowaki's English was actually decent and he could handle more than simple conversations at that point. Both he and Shizuka agreed that he would speak English to their daughter so she could grow up bi-lingual rather than just speaking one language.

"Myu-chan, what is this?" He asked, holding up the letter B.

"B!" She shouted happily as she took the block from her daddy and put it on the tower she was creating.

"Good girl. What's this?" He held up a V.

"V!" She shouted and took the block away. Her tower got too tall and crashed to the ground. "Uh oh!"

"You can make it again." Nowaki said as he placed two blocks on the bottom to hold it steadier this time.

He and the girl spent an hour playing with the blocks and working on the English alphabet. By the time Myu got bored it was time to take a shower. Nowaki stripped both himself and his daughter of their sleep clothes and the two stood in the bathroom together for a little father/daughter bonding shower. It may not have been a well known fact in other countries, but in Asia communal bathing is a ritual not to be taken lightly. Families strip from their clothes and bathe together in public baths all the time. In the home it happens without a second thought. This bonding experience has been lost on newer generations and those who live in foreign countries, but the opportunity still exists.

Nowaki held the showerhead over his head with his left arm and held his daughter to his body with his right arm. The two stood under the waterfall and let the moisture run down their bodies and to the floor. Nowaki was unable to afford a place with a closed off shower, so the bathroom was the shower and everything got wet. In his mind this was just a stepping stone to being able to afford a place with a bathtub.

"Water!" Myu shouted as she splashed the droplets onto the mirror. Nowaki laughed and set his daughter down onto a non-slip mat so he could wash her body.

The tiny child barely made it up to his knees, so he had to kneel down in order to wash her properly. He told her everything he was doing, not just as a way to talk to her, but also as a way to help her listening skills when it came to English. Shizuka did the same thing, provided the child with a narration of her every day activities. Rarely was there a silent time in the Kusama household.

/GG/

Shower done and breakfast cooking, Nowaki was letting Myu watch some sort of children's show on the television. This quite time allowed him to think and he had a lot on his mind that day. In less than ten hours he'd be receiving his diploma and then be a college graduate. A job was already lined out for him with the county. He was going to work with not only the Kusama Orphanage, but all children in need of homes in the district. The more he thought about helping all of those children the more he felt he'd made the right choice.

Without even noticing he'd managed to create the family he'd always wanted, earn the degree he'd been dreaming of, and prove to himself that a bottom feeder could make it in this world. Most men in his position would be happy and that was an understatement when it came to Nowaki. His family…his daughter, was his life. She was definitely the apple of her daddy's eye.

Nowaki eyed the girl who was dancing around to some sort of song. As the food was done cooking he decided to join her in her fun until Shizuka woke up. Once she woke up it would be time for getting ready for the big day.

/GG/

The trip to N. University only took an hour, even with all the traffic. Once there the Kusamas went inside to meet with the others of their party. After seats were found to fit the crew Nowaki went to the room where the graduates were congregating in order to get ready for the procession.

The room was bustling with all manner of individuals. Nowaki was younger than most of these individuals as not everyone was earning a bachelor's that day. Many were earning higher education degrees, thus they were quite a bit older than he was. Some of his senpai's came to congratulate the man and wish him well.

One such conversation with a senpai who had earned a master's in social work was the most memorable for the recent graduate.

"Just remember that we chose this profession not for ourselves, but for the children who need us." Senpai stated with dignity. "While we don't have a Hippocratic Oath like doctors, we are still in need of first doing no harm. When we harm a child we are harming the next generation of people who will one day run the country and the world."

Nowaki nodded his head. "I remember your lecture on maintaining a semblance of humanity when working in this field senpai. I recall hearing how places in America need to work more on helping the children before trying to help the adults. I don't think we do any better here in Japan; both countries are lacking in different areas."

The older student clapped the younger student on the shoulder. "We're not here to move mountains Nowaki-kun. We're here to help the ants that live under those mountains find a home. For each child we find a home for there will be fifty who we can't. Even that one child we will always need to worry about."

Words like these were the reason our loveable Nowaki admired Senpai as he did. The man had an idea and while it wasn't world-changing, it at least had promise. All of the children needed care, even if they were lucky enough to find a forever family.

The actual graduation ended up a blur for Nowaki. He remembered sitting in his assigned section and listening to the lecturers of the afternoon. At one point he heard his daughter calling out to him because she wanted to sit with him instead which caused multiple people in the room to laugh. When he didn't come get her she started to struggle and managed to make a break for it. The onlookers watched with interest as she ran toward her daddy and insisted on sitting on his lap.

"I am so sorry!" He apologized to everyone in attendance. "I guess kids are kids no matter what the situation."

In the end no one seemed to care that Nowaki went onstage with his daughter in tow. He placed his cap on her head after receiving his diploma and someone ended up snapping a picture that ended up in the university newsletter. The caption read, "Graduation Should Always Be A Family Event".

"Nowaki-kun!" Tanaka said as he clapped the guy on the shoulder. "I am proud of your accomplishments. My daughter being married to you is definitely one of the better plans I came up with."

"Daddy, it was our choice, not yours." Shizuka admonished with a glare.

"Don't listen to a word she said, Nowaki-kun," the overly large in personality man stated. "When it comes to a daughter, a father is always right and always knows what is best for her."

Nowaki didn't quite know how to respond to this since he knew either way he'd end up on the opposite end of one of the two in question, so he just nodded and didn't say anything.

"I appreciate everyone coming to my ceremony. I am glad I could share this with my family." Nowaki said with a smile as he hugged his wife to his side, his daughter still in his arms and wearing his cap.

Nowaki's parents gave him a hug and a family photo was taken to be placed in three different houses.

Kusama-senior invited everyone to dinner on his dime, so the family went out to enjoy a meal, good talk, and the feeling of togetherness that accompanied such occasions. That evening, after Myu was placed in bed and the diploma was hung proudly on the wall, Nowaki and Shizuka made love in the family room. That was the night their son was conceived.

/GG/

**(2006)**

"How many fingers does the baby have?" Nowaki asked Myu, who sat on his lap, with the baby in hers.

"Ten." The girl stated proudly.

"Now many toes does he have?" Nowaki asked.

"Ten!" She answered.

"How many eyes?"

This game had been going on for about ten minutes while the hospital staff cleaned Shizuka's wounds. Daito Kusama had been born via cesarean rather than vaginally as his older sister had been born, so Shizuka had to remain in the hospital longer than the prior stint. Nowaki always came by after he picked up Myu from preschool. Then the two would sit with Shizuka and the baby until they were kicked out by hospital staff. Normally Nowaki would have been allowed to stay overnight, but neither parent wanted Myu to sleep in a strange bed.

"I think you can go home in a week, Kusama-san." The attending said as she finished with applying antiseptic to the wound. "You heal fast and we can take these stitches out in a few days."

"Thank you doctor." She answered with a smile. No one really like to stay in a hospital, do they?

The hospital staff left the family to their evening games, which usually consisted of feeding the baby, feeding the older sister, and then the two adults eating whatever Nowaki ordered from a nearby family restaurant. Some would consider this a humdrum way of life, but it was just the way both adults liked it.

"Can we talk, Nowaki?" Shizuka asked as she thumbed through a magazine.

Nowaki looked up and nodded his head. "Is it a private conversation or can we have it here?"

"It's a serious conversation, but we can have it here." She answered. "I just want you to promise to let me finish with my speech before you say anything."

He took in the seriousness of her words and nodded his head. It wasn't very often that they had a serious conversation and he attributed that to the fact that both were so easygoing.

"I have been thinking about this for a while now, especially since you are working and we are making some decent money. I know you wanted to save that money so we could move into a much bigger place, but I want to see about using that money for something else." She started.

Her eyes were full of seriousness and it made Nowaki a little uneasy about the tone she was setting with her opening statement.

"I want to go to college now, Nowaki. I am not saying immediately, but I want to get a degree so I can make enough money to be even with you. I know it's customary for women to not be as even in status as their husbands, but I don't like that idea. I want us to be on equal footing."

The implication that she thought they weren't on equal footing caused Nowaki's heart to pause for a moment. He'd never once, in their four years of marriage, thought they weren't equal in any terms.

"I know what you are thinking." She continued. "And I do not for one moment think in our private lives that we are unequal. I just want to be on equal footing when it comes to work and knowledge. I want both our kids to know that it doesn't matter if a person is male or female, younger or older, a fast food worker or a lawyer, both parties in the relationship can be on equal footing."

Nowaki thought about what she said as she was saying it. He'd never thought she would want to be something more than a part-time worker so she could be home with the kids. All the women he'd known growing up were just waiting for a husband to come along to take care of them so they could take care of babies. Now here was his wife, his Shizuka, stating that she wanted something more. Who was he to stand in the way of her ambitions?

The social worker stood up with his two children and walked over to sit on the hospital bed with his wife. He placed the kids on her lap, away from her stomach, and cupped her face in his hands. Yes, it was a blow to the male ego to have his wife say she wanted to be equal, but not so much that it wasn't something he was willing to put up with.

He kissed her nose and smiled. "If it makes you happy then I am more than happy to move into a smaller new apartment after the lease is up so you can go to college."

Inside he was still had some trepidation, but it wasn't his right to say no when she had been the one taking care of house and home while he went to school. They weren't living in an archaic time anymore and more women were working decent jobs than had been in the prior century.

She leaned up and grinned from ear to ear. "You really don't mind. My father hasn't spoken to you about the 'woman's role'?"

Nowaki laughed. "Yes, in fact he has, but that doesn't mean he's able to run our lives. I think if you want to start attending university then you should."

The woman hugged her husband with a surge of emotions running through her, aside from the loss of the baby inside her belly. In her mind she knew that Nowaki wouldn't say no, after all the man was devoted to her and their kids. In another relationship that kindness could easily have been taken advantage of.

"You want to lay out your plan?" He asked looking at the magazine she was reading about Mitsuhashi University. "Seems you've been thinking about this for a while now."

"I have." She stated. "I wanted to start after you graduated, but life got in the way." She indicated Daito. "I don't plan on attending full time that way I can still take care of the kids most of the day, but that means it will take longer to finish."

Nowaki thought about that for a few moments. If she pushed herself she could finish in four years at part-time. But during that time Myu would start kindergarten and Daito would start preschool. Most normal people would need more than a few moments to think about what the future would bring, but Nowaki was always good at making snap decisions.

"It also means I wouldn't want to have any more children for the time being." This was said softly. "Would you be disappointed if we held off on more children until I finished school?"

This news wasn't much of a surprise. Nowaki was thinking the same thing since children weren't exactly a cheap investment. They had already outgrown their current living conditions and were planning on finding a slightly larger place with more than one bedroom for the kids to sleep in rather than share a bedroom. As it was they would probably have to go with a one bedroom again with a bigger communal area. Nowaki wasn't against that sort of arrangement since he liked to know Myu was sleeping next to him on another futon rather than in another room.

"Shizuka, I think you are the smartest woman in the world." His smile was enough to light up the room. "We already have a perfect family and while more little Shizukas and Nowakis would be welcome, why don't we stick with what we have for the moment and take it one step at a time?"

The conversation continued on as the family bonded over the new information. Nowaki found out that his wife wanted to get a degree as an accountant, but also take some economics classes so she could have something to fall back on should being a accountant fell through. She also wanted to wait until Daito was two before returning to school on campus, that way she could get him potty trained and ready to start an early preschool class. By that time Myu would be in kindergarten and it would be easier for her to take some general courses on-campus.

Nowaki agreed with her decisions as it seemed she had put a lot of thought into the process. The more she spoke the more he admired her intelligence. She had looked at every possible angle before presenting it to him and did it in a way that it would benefit the family. The fact that she wanted to take on such a demanding job also proved her desire to be in the same category as him. Equal partnerships were important to him as well and she had allowed him that equal partnership in the home. So allowing her that equal partnership outside the home was something he could do for her.


	4. Misaki Monogatari 1

This chapter is very much like the first chapter in Junjou Romantica with some slight changes since I deemed it important to the storyline. If you haven't seen or read the series then I suggest you read it before reading this chapter. There is a non-consensual sexual act between a person under the age of twenty and another over the age of twenty. In Japan the age of consent is thirteen in many areas, but a person is not considered an adult until they are twenty. Take this as you will.

Timeline ~ Misaki was born in 1990

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 1

**(2008)**

Somewhere along the line most people think that something is their fault and wish they could make amends for the situation. More often than not the something they think of as their fault actually wasn't; it was nobody's fault. How a person reacts to thinking they are at fault can have interesting consequences. One person might go all sorts of bat-out-of-hell crazy while another might shrink in on him or herself because he or she doesn't want to cause any trouble for the other individuals in his or her life.

Individuals who fall into the latter category are easily taken advantage of and led down paths they might never have chosen. The manipulators in said person's life know how easy it is to steer them into a different direction, by playing toward the weakness of not wanting to cause trouble. These individuals need to be handled with delicacy and love. Then again, everyone needs to be handled with love. The human condition requires it.

One Misaki Takahashi wanted to attend M. University so his brother could live vicariously though him. In order to accomplish that he'd agreed with his brother's plan to let his best friend, Usami-san, tutor him to help bring his grades up. His first meeting with Usami (or as his brother called him, Usagi) had been anything but good. The man was holding onto his brother like a love-sick girl who wanted attention. Misaki couldn't stand people like that. The thought of having to spend any amount of time in isolation with that man sent shivers down his spine, and not in a good way. Still, he didn't want to pester his brother. Takahiro was busy with work and with a new girlfriend. Misaki was eighteen and more than capable of taking care of business when required to.

The countdown had begun. In less than twenty-four hours he would be studying with Usagi-san and starting on his way toward entering university and no longer being a thorn in his brother's side. Actually, he wasn't a thorn in the older man's side, this he knew. He just didn't like the thought that for the past ten years his brother had needed to take care of him. That's what moms and dads were for. But his parents died trying to get home to him on a rainy night. Because of his request they had died, which made his brother's plight his fault. Now he wanted to make it up to the man he so idolized.

Misaki was in his room getting his study materials ready. He needed help in everything, but for the moment he wanted Usagi's help with Japanese language, social sciences, and mathematics. His English skills were lacking in a big way and he'd found out from Takahiro that the writer moved to Japan from England when he was ten. So he would take advantage of that as well.

Pencils, check. Notebooks, check. Textbooks, check. Highlighter, check. What was he missing? A bag to carry them in! Misaki went in search of his shoulder bag. He'd had it when he came in from school earlier in the day, so it had to have been somewhere in the apartment.

He didn't find it in the bedroom, nor did he find it in the front room. The bag was finally found by the front door and he picked it up just as the key in the lock indicated his brother was coming home.

"Welcome home nii-san." He said happily as the older man took his shoes off.

"Hello, Misaki. How was school?" Takahiro bubbled happily at seeing his precious little brother.

"Same old, same old." Misaki answered taking the grocery sacks from Takahiro's hands. "Geeze, nii-san. What's with all this?"

"I'm going to make some extra food for you to take with you to Usagi's apartment tomorrow. I want to pay him for teaching you, but I can't really afford monetary exchange. So since I know he's helpless in the kitchen I thought I'd cook for him. You may want to think about cooking for him on occasion too while you are at his place. He has a marvelous kitchen."

The two walked into their humble kitchen and started to create.

"Nii-san. How come you never introduced me to your friend before?" Misaki asked as he cleaned vegetables.

"I never thought about it, I guess. There is a ten year age gap between you and us, so I figured that you wouldn't find anything in common with the man. He's also rather busy, so for him to be taking time out of his busy schedule to help us, we should be very grateful."

Misaki nodded as he started to cut the vegetables. His brother had a point. What could a man of twenty-eight possibly have in common with a boy of eighteen?

"Do you trust this man a lot?" The image of his brother being pinned against the wall still fresh in his head.

Takahiro laughed. "I am trusting this man with the most important thing in the world to me, Misaki. That' is you. Usagi likes to tease people relentlessly though, so you need to watch your step or you may end up in a strange situation."

Yeah, like being pressed up against the wall, Misaki thought. It was almost like the man wanted to kiss him or something. He'd never understand why some people were the way they were.

The two men sat down to a quiet dinner and occasionally mumbled about their day. Takahiro had mentioned that he was going to be spending his weekend with his girlfriend, so Misaki was free to come and go as he pleased; just remember to get to Usagi's on time. Misaki nodded and promised to make his brother proud.

/GG/

What in the hell kind of apartment complex is this? Misaki wondered to himself. It had to have been taller than the Eiffel Tower in Italy or wherever it was. Just looking up to the top gave him vertigo. And The Great Lord Usami-sensei supposedly lived on the top floor. What would have happened if there was an earthquake? They'd both fall to their deaths.

Misaki made his way inside and hopped the elevator to the top. He entered in the elevator code since apparently living in a penthouse required the visitor to have more than one code to enter the place. Usagi must have been one rich bastard to have afforded a place that required he take a separate elevator than everyone else who lived in the complex.

For a moment Misaki was hesitant to knock. He had a bad feeling but didn't want to upset his brother, so he knocked, then rang the doorbell. No answer. The code had been given to him with permission to enter if no one answered. The teenager opened the door and walked in, whispering that he was there. He then continued into the apartment and all but shit a brick. What was the point in having such a huge place for just one man? He could understand if Usagi had a family, but Takahiro had mentioned that Usagi lived alone.

Misaki set the container of food down on the table and went to look around. He saw a pile of books on the coffee table and picked one up. The teen wasn't much into books, but the fact that his brother's best friend had written it made him feel a bit impressed.

There was another set of books in a pile. This one looked more his style, so he picked it up and opened to the first page. What he saw made his eyes all but pop out of his head. The story told of a character called Akihiko (the same name as Usagi) and another character (Takahiro) in a compromising, adult situation. Misaki felt his stomach lurch and he fought the urge to vomit. No wonder he had a bad feeling about this so-called best friend his brother was always on about. The man was a pervert and using his brother in disgusting ways.

Temper getting the best of him, Misaki ran up the stairs in search of the demon rabbit. He threw open door after door until he found a bedroom that was littered with toys a child would have been happy to have. Not only was this man a pervert, but he seemed to be a glutton as well.

"What the hell is this you bastard?" Misaki shouted at the bed where he was sure the man was sleeping. "Why are you using my brother for your twisted fantasies!"

Misaki could feel his heart racing and his blood boiling. It was rare he got angry, but Takahiro was all the family he had and he'd be damned if that name was going to be soiled by a complete stranger.

The shape on the bed lifted its head and glared daggers at the teen in the doorway. Misaki stood his ground though and threw the book into the air.

"Don't go around making disgusting trash like this about my brother. Any other man will do, so use someone else."

Usami slowly stood up and stalked over and grabbed the teen's arm. It didn't hurt, but just being in such close proximity with the man made his stomach curdle.

"What do you know about my work? What do you know about Takahiro?"

"More than you do, he is my brother." Misaki spat.

The grin that popped up on Usami's face caused Misaki to shrink back, but he wasn't able to move.

"You are kind of cute, and you did say any man would do." Misaki was led over to the bed and tossed into an unceremonious heap in the center.

Misaki tried to scoot anywhere on the bed that was away from the man who was standing before him. The look in the author's eyes worried him to no end. He'd watched enough TV to know that he was screwed.

The feel of the man's hands on his chest pushing him down barely registered as he found himself lying on his back. Once Usami was situated, Misaki was lifted up into a sitting position. He could feel his brother's best friend breathing on his neck and speaking, but the words were so much white noise for how scared he felt in that moment.

He did register a hand feeling under his shirt and playing with his chest. The sensation was completely new to him and felt good, but was unwanted at that stage in time.

"Stop!" He gasped. "Please."

His request fell on deaf ears as the assault continued. He felt himself being pushed to his knees and could feel his pants being unbuttoned. Tears started to leak from his eyes as he felt a hand start to reach in and pull his underwear off his nether regions.

"Don't…" He managed to choke out.

After the deed Akihiko left. The door closed and Misaki was left along on the bed, his ass still bare. He curled into a ball slowly and kept himself from crying, he wouldn't give that perverted bastard the satisfaction of knowing how much he hated himself in that moment. The feeling of disgust didn't evaporate immediately, but he didn't want to have that man trap him in the bedroom again, so Misaki stood up and used the sheets to clean off, tidy up, and stalk toward the door. He wasn't going to let something like this ruin his chances in making his brother proud.

/GG/

The remainder of the afternoon was spent mapping out a plan for lessons. Misaki was on high alert whenever the other man came within five feet of him. Without being trapped he figured he had a decent opportunity of bolting if necessary.

Usami agreed that Misaki could come to his apartment every day after school. During the two hours they worked Misaki would be required to study for two different subjects, along with do any homework he had for the day. Usami would help him in a way that made the learning more understandable.

Taking his brother's advice, Misaki even offered to cook for Usami on Friday nights after studying. The two would eat together and then Misaki would go home. If Usami felt Misaki needed extra assistance he would allow the boy to come over on Saturday evenings as long as Takahiro was going to come and eat with the two of them. Misaki couldn't speak for his brother, but he did feel it was fair and Usami was putting a lot of effort into helping him. His unease was starting to dwindle, but not completely. His trust in the man lie only in the fact that he'd do anything to make his brother happy.

/GG/

After he went home that evening Misaki stood in the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Was what happened to him considered rape, or was there another name for it since actual intercourse hadn't taken place? The vision that stared back at him didn't look any different than it had that morning, and Misaki always assumed that after he'd lost his virginity his reflection would look different. Outside he looked exactly the same, it was inside that was different.

The teen sat on the stool and scrubbed himself raw, making sure to clean every single fold of skin on his uncircumcised penis. It really didn't take long for the cleaning to become more than that. And he still came quick.

The feeling of masturbating was different now that he'd felt someone else take control. He didn't know how to describe it, but when he did it himself it left him feeling much less satisfied. Already, after only a short amount of time, The Great Lord Usami had changed the teen, and Misaki didn't like this change.

/GG/

Takahiro came into the house late after spending time with his girlfriend. They'd been dating for a few months and he felt she was the one he wanted to marry. When he mentioned his little brother and the bond he felt with Misaki the woman had been completely open to the idea and had expressed interest in meeting the younger boy. Takahiro couldn't have been happier.

It was at least two in the morning, but Takahiro still went to check on his baby brother before going to sleep in his own room. He opened the door slowly and padded across the floor to where Misaki was lying on his back on the futon. The older man could make out a grimace in his younger brother's face. He must have been having a nightmare.

"Don't, Usami-sensei."

The words coming from his brother startled Takahiro in a way he never thought possible. What could his brother have been dreaming about?

"Please, Usami-sensei. I don't like to be touched there by men." The words were mumbled more than spoken clearly, but the words were unmistakable. What the hell?

Takahiro turned on the light and sat down next to his brother and ran a hand through the boy's hair, feeling for a fever that might bring on some sort of delusions. Misaki was sweaty, but there was no fever. If anything he felt cold to the touch.

He pulled his hand away and pulled more blanket onto his brother and then felt his forehead again for good measure.

Misaki sat bolt upright and backed away sputtering, "No more Usagi-san. I won't let you make me come again!"

Neither person said anything as Misaki's head cleared of the dream he had been having. This one had him trapped by Usami-sensei, and the man using his mouth to play with his balls. The feeling had caused him to grow an erection and when he saw that his brother was staring back at him he could feel the blood drain from his face.

"Misaki?" His brother asked quietly.

"I'm sorry nii-san." Misaki stuttered in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't wake me, I just got home." The worry in his face put Misaki to shame.

"Then nii-san should go to sleep. It's late."

"Misaki, what happened to cause you to dream whatever it was you were dreaming and talk like that at the same time?"

"Nothing of importance nii-san. I'm okay, I'll just go to the bathroom and then come back to sleep."

He tried to stand up, but his brother kept him on his bottom.

"Misaki, what's going on?"

The stern way Takahiro spoke frightened Misaki more than what Usami had done earlier that day. His brother rarely raised his voice or spoke in such a way and for once he didn't know if it would be better to lie or tell the truth. Neither option would alleviate any sort of stress that Takahiro felt. If Misaki was dreaming and speaking in his sleep and it continued it would be even worse.

"Um…" He started, trying to see if he could keep the issue from being as inappropriate as it was. "Yesterday when I went to Usami-san's house…" He took a deep breath. "He had oral sex with me, using his hand." He spit this out as quickly as possible because he didn't want to think about it anymore.

The look on his brother's face wasn't what he expected it to be. It was a look of disbelief and for a moment he thought his brother didn't believe him. Takahiro stood up and walked to the front hallway, Misaki followed. The younger watched as his brother picked up the phone and made a phone call, then he listened, feeling even more shamed than before.

"Usagi-san?" His brother stated, causing the boy to cringe. Takahiro was calling Usami in the dead of night. "Did you perform oral sex on my little brother?"

Misaki could feel tears in his eyes as he watched his brother's expressions on the phone. He couldn't make out what Usami was saying, but he figured it was the truth because of the sadness in the older man's eyes.

"Usami." The use of the author's true name and not the nickname caused Misaki's knees to buckle. "I don't want you to come around me or my brother again."

There was no good-bye, the phone was just hung up. Takahiro had tears streaming down his face as he pulled Misaki into an embrace and apologized profusely for what had happened to his baby brother. Misaki was too stunned to cry. Not only had he killed his parents, he had now lost his brother his best friend.


	5. Shinobu Monogatari 2

This chapter has a higher sexual content than others. If that is not your thing then please turn away. Also, as a reminder, this is AU, so of the characters are OOC, that is the reason. There is a method to my madness that will be explained many chapters down the line.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 2

**(2008)**

Many adults will tell people that their childhood went by way too fast, whereas a child will tell you that the days, hours, minutes, even seconds drag on. The theory on that is based on percentages. To an adult who is aged thirty years, one year is only 1/30th of his or her life. To a child who is aged eight years, one year is 1/8th of his or her life. An eighth of a person's life is a much bigger percentage than a thirtieth. Thus time seems to go by quicker because a day, an hour, a minute; they're all a much smaller percentage of the whole.

For Shinobu Takatsuki time always seemed to remain constant. An hour to him when he was four was the same as an hour to him at seventeen. The only thing that changed was the fact that he'd grown from a child to a young adult. His body, although still lanky, was taller and more masculine than when he was a child. And a lot more used.

The day his parents called to inform him of his sister's impending divorce from the man he'd met three years prior found Shinobu in a heated embrace with Lorelei in her bedroom. Her roommates were out for the weekend, so Shinobu had taken it upon himself to move in with her for a couple of days.

The two teens were in a frenzied embrace and had been for hours. They probably would have continued a few more hours had his mobile not rang and pulled them out of their 'drunken with sex' haze. Lorelei immediately stopped her ministrations on his half-hard dick and sat up to hand it to him. He took it and flipped it open.

"This is Shinobu." He said, breathily.

"Shinobu, were you exercising? You sound out of breath." His mother asked.

He laughed, "In a manner of speaking. What do you want?" He asked. Though his animosity toward his family had diminished over the three years he'd spent at the school, he was still rather sullen when he needed to speak with them.

"I'm calling to tell you that Risako is getting divorced." The woman stated.

Shinobu rolled his eyes. Even when he was at the wedding he knew that the union wouldn't last. A monkey could have seen that one coming.

"And what does this have to do with me?"

"I know you aren't exactly thrilled about coming to Japan any time soon, but we feel it would at least be good for your sister if you spent some time with her during her break-up. Divorces are not an easy subject."

Shinobu looked at Lorelei with annoyance. "So, in other words, you want me to come back to Japan for the summer?" Lorelei pouted. He was speaking in English and then translating it into Japanese, so she knew what the conversation was.

"If you don't mind. She is your only sister, after all."

Shinobu groaned and stretched his overtaxed muscles for a moment. "Fine mother, I will be back in two weeks after the term is officially over for the summer."

He looked at the naked girl sitting beside him. While their lives weren't always about sex, it would definitely cause his hand to chafe a bit more without her mouth to suck him dry.

/GG/

The first few weeks back in Japan Shinobu didn't even see his sister. He began to wonder what the point was in his returning if she was going to be elusive. His parents blamed her absence on her needing to take some time to get over the issue before she saw him after the three years they'd barely spoken to one another.

Shinobu spent his days catching up with old friends, reading, and instant chatting with Lorelei on the computer. All in all it was boring as all hell, unless one of his friends was free to hang out with. When that happened they would go to the local hangouts, to karaoke bars, and to arcades. Shinobu could count the number of real friends he had on his hand, and most of them currently resided in the other hemisphere of the globe.

After a long night of singing with a few of his middle school friends who were up for a reunion of sorts, Shinobu drug himself to his parent's house at four in the morning, well after curfew. What he saw when he got to the house was more of a shock than discovering his sister was getting married in the first place. She was sitting on the sofa with a man and the two were in a heated lip-lock that could have rivaled his and Lorelei's any day of the week. The breakup must not have been that bad if his sister was already necking with another man.

Rather than time being spend in thought he made his presence known, which caused the two parties to separate rather quickly to opposite ends of the sofa.

"We have love motels for that kind of fraternization nee-san." Shinobu said coldly. He walked into the room and sat on a chair opposite the couple. "Let me guess, this divorce wasn't caused by him, but by you having an affair." He was just grasping at straws, but the looks both his sister and the man gave him caused him to chuckle. "I was right? Wow, I never thought you'd have it in you."

"Shut up, Shinobu. It isn't what you think." Risako said evenly.

"So Miyagi cheated on you too?" He asked dryly.

"He didn't have to. He was in love with someone else before we got married." This was not the conversation she wanted to start off having with her brother after a three-year hiatus from one another.

"So he did cheat on you, or did you cheat on him first?"

His sister's glare was enough to freeze the core of the planet. "He didn't cheat on me, I cheated on him. Are you happy now, Shinobu?" She started crying and the man, who hadn't said a word, scooted over and pulled her into an embrace.

"No, I'm not happy. I was called away thinking you were being divorced because he was an ass. I spend weeks here actually worried about you, only to find out you were the one at fault. I could have been in Australia working and planning on which university I want to attend, not here waiting for you to show up with all your infidelity." He snapped, face turning red.

Shinobu took his leave and went to sleep his annoyance off in his room. He briefly wondered if his parents knew the whole reason Risako broke it off with Miyagi. Their making it sound like she wasn't at fault was a low blow and that just fueled his annoyance even more.

After not falling asleep by the time the sun was rising, Shinobu turned on his laptop and started to send off his applications. He'd filled out applications for T. University, Mitsuhashi University, University of Melbourne, Cambridge and Oxford in the UK, Harvard and Yale in America, and ETH Zurich in Switzerland. The only ones he was planning on sending off would keep him away from Japan for at least four more years, if not seven since he was torn between attending Harvard for their law program.

Shinobu looked at his English proficiency score. On a scale of 0-120 he'd managed to get a 117. This earned him the ability to attend almost any university in the world in an English-speaking country. His parents were probably not going to be happy with his decision, but for the moment he didn't even want to belong to his family.

/GG/

After spending the rest of his summer vacation doing very little in the way of being constructive, Shinobu was finally given leave to return to Australia for his final year at school. He knew the year would go by at a normal speed for him, but to his parents, who were awaiting his return, he knew it would drag on because they would want it to be over soon.

It was at this time Shinobu decided to inform his parents of his plans for after high school. In their grand plan he was supposed to return to Japan after bringing great honor to his family for being able to attend a high school in Australia. He would go to T. University, get set up on an omiai like his sister, and then produce a son to be heir to his family's bloodline. This plan would be upset when he told his family that he wasn't going to attend university in Japan, but overseas. Most likely the information would cause his mother to cry, his father to take his mother's side, and Risako to be herself.

Over the course of the summer their bond had broken that much more. He wasn't fond of the man she had married, but just because he didn't like the guy didn't mean he deserved to be cheated on. From what he could gather he never cheated on her, he just worked all the time. That was a normal thing in a lot of families. Then again, it was probably a commonplace occurrence for one or both parties to cheat as well. Divorce wasn't common as common in Japan as it was in the western parts of the world.

From his discussions with his father, who didn't blame Miyagi, but blamed Risako instead, the man was in love with his teacher. The teacher had died of an illness years prior and Miyagi hadn't given up on her. Shinobu thought the idea was stupid, pining over a dead person, but that still didn't excuse his sister's infidelity.

A conversation with Lorelei in the subject went like this.

Shinobu – I may not approve of his stupidity, but my sister treating anyone like that is ridiculous.

Lorelei – I can kind of see her point Shinobu. I would feel like cheating if my husband didn't show me the love I wanted.

Shinobu – Then what would be the point in getting married in the first place? If he loved someone else he should have called it off immediately. If she felt that way then she should have divorced him before cheating on him.

Lorelei – You aren't either person Shinobu, have you talked to this Miyagi or your sister about her feelings?

Shinobu – How can I talk to her when that man she cheated with is glued to her at the hip? I can't even get her away from him long enough to tell her about you.

Lorelei – Have you told anyone in your family about me?

Shinobu – I don't see the point in that. It's not like they would care or approve anyway. I'm a Japanese man, I should have experience, but not tell anyone about it so that I can marry some cute little Japanese girl and we can have cute little Japanese kids.

Lorelei – I love the Asian mentality there. Note the sarcasm.

Shinobu – I never said I liked that idea, it's just what's expected of me. Obviously my sister wasn't in love with Miyagi or she wouldn't have cheated on him.

Lorelei – A person can be in love and cheat, especially if they feel like they are backed into a corner.

Shinobu – Not me. If I am in a relationship then I am not going to cheat. I have more honor than that. I see myself as someone who will be with one person at a time. Funny enough, I used to think that I would only ever be with one person…

He broke off the chat at that point because he realized that while he liked Lorelei, the two of them had two very different paths and that the relationship probably wouldn't last after they parted for college. The thought didn't make him sad in any way, but it did make him think. When had he started having those thoughts that he was a one-person man? Most people didn't think they would be with one person their whole lives, but for a moment, deep in his subconscious, Shinobu thought he was meant to be.

/GG/

The day had finally arrived when he was planning on spelling out his desires for university. Risako and her boyfriend were in attendance because she seemed to bring him everywhere with her. His parents were also both there since he thought this was a family discussion. Not even waiting for the introductions to be given by his father, the young man spoke.

"I've decided to attend university outside of Japan." He reached over and took a roll from the basket on the table.

His father looked up from his plate with a curious gaze. "Excuse me?"

"I've applied for universities in Australia, Great Britain, America, and Switzerland. I will be attending university outside of Japan." He took a bite of the roll and put it on his plate as he watched the silence envelop the table.

"Shinobu, why didn't you discuss this with us?" His father asked.

"The same reason you didn't discuss sending me to Australia in the first place. At the time it was your decision. I want university to be mine since I have to attend for four years and it will be how my future is decided." His logic was there, even if no one wanted to see it.

"You are still not an adult, so you can't really make that decision on your own yet Shinobu." Risako put in her two cents worth.

"I may not be an adult now, but I will be before I am finished with school. I also know that by Australian law I am considered an adult once I graduate from high school."

"You aren't Australian, you are Japanese."

"Enough Risako, your brother does have a certain point to his logic and I want to give my opinion on the matter." Takatsuki-senior said with a slight growl. "I think we can come up with a compromise. Shinobu can return to Japan until he reaches adulthood, and then I will allow him to transfer universities to whatever country he desires."

The option seemed fair, but was not what Shinobu wanted, and there had to be a catch to his father's thinking.

"I can see where you are coming from father, but here is my reason for declining." He took a deep breath and gazed in the eyes of everyone at the table. "I know that during the two years I am here in Japan you will set me up on an omiai like you did Risako. While I am sure I can make a marriage work much better than she can, I know that if you do set me up then I will have no choice but to accept as your son. If you set me up before I have a chance to leave then I will not be able to leave. Thus you will have effectively trapped me here before I can finish my education elsewhere. I think it's better if I finish my education before I settle down."

His father glared for a few moments before speaking up. "Shinobu, only poor people set their kids up on an omiai at your age."

"Poor people, yes, but also people who have been dishonored. What Risako did…"

Risako stood up and smashed her hands open-faced on the table. "Now just a minute here you little brat, just because I couldn't stay married doesn't mean you will take the heat. I am more than capable of sticking by my decision."

Shinobu could feel the air in the room heat up at her outburst. "Don't start nee-san. You and I both know that your cheating has dishonored this family. As you are the culprit in this matter it falls on me to make it right and I have already been on the receiving end of mom and dad's plans. I want to see life for myself before being trapped in a loveless marriage."

The teenager was calm as he spoke and the words were dripping with truth the family could not ignore. A number of silent minutes passed as each member of the dining party examined their food rather than eat. It may not have been a conscious decision, but one could not deny the truth that the youngest person in attendance was right.

"Okay, Shinobu. You can attend university outside of the country as long as you call us once a week."

The comment came from his mother, someone who had been silent throughout the whole conversation. Shinobu looked up at his mom and could see the pain in her eyes at his decision, but he could also see the love she felt for her youngest. She wanted him to be happy and if leaving the country was going to do that then that was what was going to take place. He smiled when he realized that he had won because no one in the family would go against his mother when she chose to make a stand.


	6. Misaki Monogatari 2

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 2

**(2008)**

The human mind is an amazing thing and it can overcome so many obstacles when someone uses it correctly. The human mind is like a computer and the person operating must tell it what to do in order for it to help that person complete a task. A computer will not download information or create a new program unless the person in charge tells it to. Same goes for the brain; it will not work hard to create new programs unless a person is dedicated and spends the required amount of time.

Just like any piece of hardware the brain is not perfect. Things can go wrong, the brain can work slow, and it may take some time for the changes to occur. But with perseverance and patience the brain can learn to do something the owner may never have thought possible.

Misaki found this out the hard way, but was pleased with what he had been able to accomplish. After losing his tutor he went online to the Mitsuhashi website and spoke to some recruitment officers. He explained his case and requested some information. The lady was more than willing to help the boy and sent the request to faculty about finding a tutor for the young man who was trying to live his dream, even though his grades sucked.

In the end the youngest professor on staff was chosen to assist the budding economics major. Hiroki Kamijou was not at all thrilled about this development and he made it very clear to the young man up front. It got even worse for Misaki after the man had found out who his brother was and that it was his fault the idiot writer, Akihiko Usami, had been bugging him all the more.

Misaki recalled Usami calling the house so often his brother had a new phone number requested of an unlisted variety. When that didn't work he invested in two mobile phones, one for Misaki and one for himself. These phones only accepted calls from approved individuals, and thus the calls from the desperate rabbit stopped. Misaki tried to put the thought out of his mind that he was the one who caused the rift.

Also, he decided to forge ahead and take whatever Professor Kamijou threw at him (literally and figuratively) since it was his fault the poor professor was being pestered by the mutual friend. Misaki's life was quite the small world and it bothered him he could end up running into Usami again. It wasn't that he was worried about what happened before would happen again. He was more worried about what would happen if he did run into Usami and his brother found out. Takahiro had expressly forbid him from having any contact with the older man. His own dear brother had cut off all ties with his best friend of over a decade, so Misaki wanted to keep his brother's stress at a minimum. He was glad Takahiro had a fiancée because she brought some light into both their lives.

It wasn't until his third month of tutoring that Professor Kamijou had been told what had occurred between Takahiro and Usami. The man had threatened to contact Usami (because just the mention of the man caused the young learner to cringe) and ask him for assistance on a problem that Misaki just wasn't getting. With tears streaming down his face Misaki told the professor what had taken place those months prior. In a completely out of character move the professor showed the young man some kindness and swore to keep everything from the other man. It wasn't as if Usami paid much attention to Hiroki anyway, and the way the man had been acting anyone'd have thought he had caught some contagious disease.

The threat of Usami finding out finally gone had cleared the way for Misaki to continue on with his learning. Eventually he was able to learn the material with some assistance from a new acquaintance of the professor's. The man went by the name Ryuusuke Sato. He was five years the professor's senior and put up with the professor's ranting like a saint. Misaki wouldn't have thought it possible anyone could have handled the professor's tsundere attitude, but Sato-san was more than up for the challenge.

As luck would have it, after a lot of hard work on everyone's part, Misaki was admitted to Mitsuhashi University. He wasn't given any sort of scholarship, but because of his relationship to the professor he was granted a work-study to help alleviate some of the cost of tuition. And so when September rolled around, Misaki Takahashi found himself walking to the university with his head held high and his spirits even higher.

/GG/

Misaki spent the first two hours on campus finding his way around. He had agreed to take a literature course with Professor Kamijou and help as an aid to pay for the tutoring. The new college student was also taking a college level algebra class, an economics class, and a macroeconomics class. The schedule was full, but it helped drive the kid along.

His first class was economics with Professor Jamison. She was an American born woman who was half-Japanese. The class found out she had gone to school in America and had attended T. University for her bachelor's and then returned to America to attend Berkley for her master's, followed by Oxford for her doctorate. Her higher education degrees were in teaching adults, so that was why she had returned to Japan, so she could teach adults.

Misaki was seated next to a woman whose eyes were transfixed on the professor. He smiled that someone was getting so much out of the lecture.

"In this intro to economics class we will be studying Say, Marshall, and Becker. This class has a very western approach, which is why I teach the class. For economics majors there are Japanese economics classes you will be required to take as well as world economics. For the few people who are in here just for interest's sake, welcome to the wonderful world of economy." The professor all but sang.

Misaki immediately liked her.

"You will be expected to work in groups for a number of projects throughout the term. I suggest you use these partners as your study group as well. College is no laughing matter and anyone who doesn't have a support system in the form of study partners is bound to come up behind."

All eyes were on the professor as she brought up an Excel spreadsheet with everyone's name on it.

"Look at this chart, find your name, then find your groups. I will give you ten minutes to get into your groups and learn as much as you can about one another."

The classroom started to bustle as people introduced themselves to those around to see which groups they were in. The lady next to Misaki turned and introduced herself with a smile.

"Shizuka Kusama, I am pleased to meet you." She said eagerly.

"Misaki Takahashi. I think we're in the same group." He looked at the chart and saw that he was right; they were indeed both in the same group.

"Well that was easy. Can I call you Misaki-kun or would you prefer Takahashi-san?"

"I am fine with just plain Misaki, you don't have to use an honorific if you would prefer." She was obviously older than he was and he didn't want her to be offended.

"Then I also insist you call me Shizuka."

Misaki's eyes went wide as he bowed his head. It was one thing for someone to call him by his given name but quite another for him to call them the same way. He decided to ask her for a compromise.

"Only if I can call you Shizuka-senpai. I would feel weird without some honorific for you; I mean you are married after all." He indicated the wedding band she wore about her finger.

Shizuka looked at her wedding band of six years and smiled. The young man was right, she was his senior.

"Okay, you can tack on senpai if you want."

The other two members of their group quickly found Misaki and Shizuka and the four started talking with one another.

"My name is Yuuta Watanabe. I am here on scholarship and plan to major in business. I will be taking over my father's company as the oldest son once he is able to retire. I will probably work under him until that time comes.

"My name is Ami Fujiwara. I am here with my twin sister who is studying dance. I chose to study economics because I am interested in the subject of world economics. I would like to work for my grandfather once I graduate."

"My name is Misaki Takahashi. I came here to live my brother's dream because he had to raise me when our parents died, so he couldn't attend college. I find economics to be an interesting subject too, though I will probably stick with the Japanese economy. I am afraid I am not the best student, but I will work hard."

"My name is Shizuka Kusama. I was married at eighteen and currently I have two beautiful children with my wonderful husband, Nowaki. I chose to take his name rather than keep my own at my parent's request so our children would have the same name as both parents. I am going to school part-time and this is my first on-campus class. I look forward to learning about everyone."

Throughout the remainder of the ten minutes it was discovered that Yuuta was in his second year and was also married. He and his wife had one child who was born when they were both in high school. Ami was in Misaki's macroeconomics class and that seemed to please her since they could double up on studying when necessary. It was also agreed, since Ami and Misaki (once the lease ran out on the apartment) lived on campus and Yuuta lived with his parents, that the place to study would be Shizuka's home. This way they would be away from the campus and the elder of the group could be near her children.

After the first class Misaki went to his literature class with Professor Kamijou. It was rumored that he was called Kamijou the Devil and he soon found out why. The professor was harsh and made no apologies for his behavior. If the students didn't want to work then they shouldn't have decided to enter into an institution of higher learning.

Misaki spent an hour filing the information on the new students in the professor's joint office. The other literature professor, Yoh Miyagi, was a vibrant man with a lot of energy. The first-year college student liked him immediately and that helped his hour of assistance go by that much quicker.

He only had two classes on Monday, so that left the rest of his afternoon free. Misaki didn't want to go home to the empty house and instantly wished to move into the dorms. Since there was a few more class hours left he decided to check and see when he could move in just so he wouldn't have to continue going to that lonely apartment.

The dorms were heavy with people at that time of day. Students were in the process of getting ready for more classes or even getting ready for work. Misaki's work-study was in the library on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. He would work three hours a day and that money would go directly toward his balance. Takahiro had told his younger brother that he would pay for school, but Misaki wanted to take care of part of that balance.

Once inside Misaki went looking for the dorm head to ask where his room would be. He didn't expect the dorm head to be female though since he thought he would be in an all-male dorm. The look on his face when he realized it was a she was priceless.

"Are you okay?" She asked when he sputtered at finding out she was in charge.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I just assumed I was in a male dorm and you are not male."

She laughed again. "That's correct. Male dorms go quickly and since you weren't moving in immediately we were only able to get you in a mixed dorm, I hope that's okay."

"Sure. I mean, if that's the only place available then I will take what I can get."

"I'm Kimiko Morita, second year student majoring in computer sciences. Welcome to campus life." She said with a grin.

"Uh, thanks. I'm Misaki Takahashi, but I guess I already said that. Sorry senpai."

"No need to be sorry Takahashi-kun. You are adorable though."

The comment made him blush and he lowered his head as she proceeded to show him about the dorm and where his room would be. As of right then he didn't have a roommate, but could change at any time. He wasn't worried about roommates though since he wanted to experience college life to its fullest.

After the tour and meeting a couple dozen new faces, Misaki was invited to join Kimiko and a few others for dinner on-campus. He took the invitation and said he'd go to the library to study until it was time to eat. Kimiko exchanged phone numbers with him and said she would call when they were on their way. College was starting out on a good note.

/GG/

In the library Misaki ran into Shizuka again. She was doing some research on the computer about putting her son into the on-campus day care center for students. Misaki sat with her to chat about her family.

"I was set up on an omiai when I was just eighteen. Both Nowaki and I were really young, but we decided to go with our parent's wishes. Our daughter was born in the first year, but she's five now and a very vivacious sort. Little Myu-chan likes to take care of Daito-kun so I can study or relax."

Shizuka showed Misaki pictures of her family and the young man felt a little bit envious. He did have a brother and a sister-in-law, but they lived rather far away, so he didn't really get to see them. A family was something he wanted, or at least someone to be with so he didn't feel lonely. Living on campus would hopefully help with that problem since there were so many people around it was going to be hard to find time to be alone.

"I was looking at this syllabus and we have a big test on Friday next week. Maybe we should meet at my house on Wednesday after class to study. Nowaki will be home that night so the kids won't be a bother." Shizuka said as she looked at her class syllabus one more time.

Misaki could do nothing but agree to the logic and the two sent messages to the other two members of their study group. The date was set and with that bit of future planned, Shizuka started off toward home. Misaki stayed in the library looking for more information on the school intranet site about jobs for students in the surrounding area. He couldn't work much, but having a little bit of extra income brought in on Saturday afternoon and on Sunday would go a long way toward being able to be more independent. How he wished he'd had more money saved from his childhood.

Around six o'clock he got a text message from Kimiko that a half dozen people were on their way to the mess hall to grab some food. Misaki agreed to join them and headed away from the library. He'd posted his interest in two jobs, one at a local flower shop the other at a bookstore down the way. Either one would work with his open hours.

"Takahashi-kun!"

Kimiko waved him over to her group of friends. He smiled and joined in on a night of entertaining conversation about everything from living on campus, to wanting to buy the I-Phone when it was less expensive. Making friends was a strong point of Misaki's and by the end of the night when everyone was headed back to their respective dorms, he'd gotten six new phone numbers and had set up a time to get together with some of the guys for an anime and pizza night.

Misaki was surprised that Kimiko had offered to walk him to the main gate of the campus. He agreed out of pure politeness and the two walked in silence for a few minutes. Then she broke the silence.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Takahashi-kun?"

This type of questioning made Misaki blush when he realized that not only had he never had a girlfriend in his life, but he'd never been confessed to either.

"No. Not really." He stated truthfully. "I mean, I haven't really had a chance to have a girlfriend since I have been studying so much lately."

"Would you like one?"

The comment went over the poor boy's head. "Did someone say something?" He asked with wide eyes.

This comment made Kimiko laugh. She shook her head and looked Misaki in the eye. "I am saying something now Takahashi-kun. I would like to go out with you."

"Really?" Then he mentally kicked himself, what kind of response was that?

"Really." She reached over and turned his shoulder so he was facing her and then brought her face to his and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

Misaki didn't know how to react, after all it was his first kiss and he didn't even initiate it, the girl had to. His face gave him away though as he blushed to the tips of his ears.

"Was that your first kiss?" Kimiko asked quietly.

"Well, you see…" He was so embarrassed he wanted to crawl into a hole. "Yes." He finally answered.

"Then let's try it again, okay."

He nodded and she brought her face to his again and gently turned his head a little. She placed her lips to his and then used her tongue to get him to open his lips up a little before sticking her tongue into his mouth. Now, Misaki had read enough manga and seen enough television shows to know that he should respond with his tongue as well, so he lightly flicked his tongue over hers and felt her smile into the kiss.

She didn't break it off as quickly as he expected, and soon he had instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. The older girl deepened the kiss and Misaki could feel parts of his body come alive in ways they hadn't since he'd been violated those months prior. Only this time he wanted the feelings to continue. He wanted to feel more of this girl who was exploring his mouth with her tongue. This was how it should have been in the first place, wasn't it?


	7. Nowaki Monogatari 3

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 3

**(2008)**

For every one person who is a natural at meeting new people, there are two or three who aren't. Reasons for this vary and can either be extremely detrimental or cause the other party to push until there is an opening with which to enter into another world. Those who are natural at meeting new people are the envy of those who believe they cannot. In truth it may be difficult, but everyone can meet someone new, the way it's done just happens to be different. Everyone in the world tends to have the thought, at least one time in their life, that the grass is always greener on the other side. That's just a thought though and all a person really needs to do is look closely at what he or she has to see that what they have is probably just a different shade of green. The same goes for meeting new people. Some go about meeting new people in an overly friendly fashion while others go about meeting new people in a more mild approach.

Nowaki was one of those people who had always been overly friendly when meeting new people. So when his wife had told him she was bringing her study group for dinner and some studying the tall man immediately went to work cleaning the small apartment and getting all manner of eats available for the group to munch on while studying. He recalled being in a study group and he wanted to make sure everyone was well taken care of. Truth be told he was probably more excited about the new people than his wife was.

"Are you sure the kids and I can't leave the apartment and get out of your hair?" He asked while putting the finishing touches on the plate of broiled fish. "It would give you more time to study." He stated logically.

Shizuka shook her head no while helping Daito into a new pair of pants. "I want you here to wait on us hand and foot," she winked. "This way I can entertain and have a handsome butler to do my bidding."

The comment had him laughing as he searched for more chopsticks. He never would have left her anyway. Nowaki loved his wife and loved spending time with her when he wasn't busy. What little time they had together was precious and he wasn't going to give that up just because life got in the way.

"Where are the chopsticks?" He asked as he searched through the lower cabinet. Myu got down on her knees under her father and helped him search for them. Thanks to time and dedication Nowaki could speak in either Japanese or English and she would understand.

"Daddy, here are the wooden chopsticks we save from take-out." She produced a bag of cheap wooden chopsticks that were saved for any occasion when someone came over. It didn't happen very often, which was why they didn't keep proper chopsticks around. The two sets of adult chopsticks were fine most nights anyway.

"Thank you my sweet." He said as he lifted the girl up and placed her on the counter next to where he was working.

She had grown up to look exactly like he did. Myu was tall for her age with dark hair and brilliant blue eyes. If Nowaki hadn't wanted a daddy's little girl he'd have been in trouble because his daughter was enamored with him. She hero worshiped him like the second coming and attempted to follow him everywhere. Her favorite places to go with her daddy were the park and the orphanage so she could play with all the kids. She didn't quite understand that those children didn't have parents of their own, but she did understand that it was a place her daddy had grown up, so it was special to her for that reason.

"Daddy, will I always have to be in school like you and mommy?" She asked as she picked at the kimchi her father was dishing out.

It was a good question. For her whole like her parents had been in school, though not at the same time, so in her mind she probably thought she was always going to be in school.

"No, you will only need to be in school as long as you need. Right now just think about how sad you'd be not to be in school and see all of your friends."

To five year old logic this was an easy answer. Myu loved seeing her friends and the thought of not seeing them on a weekly basis usually made her rather sad. The one time she had to skip school for two weeks because she'd contracted the chicken pox had been miserable because she kept asking when she could go see her friends again, never mind the fever, pox, and the constant desire to scratch.

"I wanna see my friends. Saki told me she was going to bring her pet hamster to class next time."

"Well, we definitely cannot miss Saki's hamster, now can we." He asked as he put the finishing touches on another dish of food. There was enough to feed a small army. "Shizuka, you should go get ready. If anyone comes to the door I can let them in."

With his wife in the process of changing, Nowaki went about getting the final preparations for dinner. He was just about to take some vegetables out of the refrigerator when he heard a knock on the door.

"Alright Myu-chan, let's go see who is at the door!"

The child hopped onto her father's back and they raced to the door. Upon opening it he was greeted by a much shorter man/boy than he who was carrying a dish of something. The visitor looked up and Nowaki could see his eyes get huge. That usually happened when the vertically challenged saw him for the first time.

"Nice to meet you, I am Nowaki Kusama, Shizuka's husband, and this little cling-on is our daughter Myu-chan. Who might you be?"

"Sorry, I'm Misaki Takahashi. I know I'm early, but I didn't know the address, so I thought I'd leave with more than enough time to get here." The teenager stated shyly.

"That's a smart thing to do Takahashi-kun." Nowaki stated as he motioned for the boy to enter. "Why don't you come in and you can keep me and the kids company while Shizuka finished with her girly type practices."

At this he made the boy smile and a friendship was starting to blossom.

/GG/

Nowaki was more than impressed with how domestic Misaki was. He immediately set to work helping with dinner, kept the kids entertained, and still had an opportunity to chat. In a short amount of time they had learned quite a bit about one another. Nowaki learned that Misaki was living all but on his own and he felt a kin-ship for the boy since he had grown up in an orphanage.

When the subject of Nowaki's birth came up it caused the younger man to ask a question he immediately regretted asking.

"If you have no family, then why did Shizuka-senpai take your name?" Right when the question popped out he slapped his hands over his mouth and apologized with his eyes. "I'm sorry…I mean…" Oh god, if only the floor could have swallowed him in that moment.

Nowaki just laughed. "I am fine with people asking that question and in truth it's a little strange. Shizuka's father and mother really like me, or they wouldn't have agreed to the omiai. Mr. Tanaka knew of my lack of family and my desire to have one, but he didn't want me to be forcibly taken into his. So he and I came up with an agreement that even though my wife and kids would take my name, my first son would use his name as a business name and be the successor to his company. I told him if Daito-kun is okay with that idea then I am too, but I am not going to force the issue since I want my son to have free will."

Misaki nodded as he understood what was being said. It was a strange deal to be sure, but it did give Kusama-san the family he had always wanted, with his name and not someone else's. He wondered how the man's father-in-law took the news. He didn't get a chance to ask because Shizuka-senpai came out of the bedroom and greeted her guest.

"Misaki, welcome to our home. I hope you find everything to your liking."

The younger man nodded and smiled happily. This home felt like a home rather like his home had felt when he was a small child. He only hoped that one day his children would feel the love this family had for one another.

/GG/

The next day Nowaki was called to the hospital to meet a new little girl under his care. Her family had been sent to prison for abuse and the little girl was extremely malnourished. No matter how much Nowaki loved seeing children, it was always hard on him to see someone so young be treated so cruelly.

The hospital staff were all rather busy so he was made to wait until someone could speak with him. Eventually a doctor with light hair came forward.

"Mr. Kusama?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, that's me. I am here to see a little girl by the name of Haruka Nakamura." Nowaki said as he stood up to be led to the children's ward.

"I am happy to take you to see her. She's a sweet girl who deserves better than what life threw at her. My name is Dr. Tsumori if you need to speak with someone about her I have been working with her for a few days."

Nowaki realized he was rude by not asking the doctor's name nor bowing to someone with higher standing than he. This caused the doctor to laugh when he realized how embarrassed the younger man was.

"Relax kid, I know you have a busy job, so we'll let it slide."

Nowaki nodded and followed the doctor to a room. The curtains were closed to allow all of the children an opportunity to sleep. Doctor Tsumori led him to a bed in the middle of the room with a scared little girl, lying on the sheets and looking like she survived a Concentration Camp.

"Haru-chan, this is Kusama-san. He's here to be a new friend." The doctor said softly to the little girl.

She looked at the figure next to the bed and turned away, burying her head under her arm.

"I guess I am a little intimidating aren't I, Haru-chan." Nowaki said as he took a seat next to the bed. It was always the same when he met a child for the first time. "Why don't I tell you about my little girl whose about your age. I am sure you can meet her and you two will be great friends."

Tsumori watched with interest as the young social worker started in on a tale of how his five year old daughter was learning how to tie her shoes. She was always tying them together and then needed help untying them. Nowaki was sure she was doing it on purpose.

After another fifteen minutes of talking the girl in the bed turned over and looked at Nowaki. She gave a small smile.

"Would you like to see a picture?" He asked softly to which she nodded. Nowaki's mobile had enough pictures of his kids to keep any normal person busy for hours. He showed the girl in the bed pictures of his two kids and then let her keep hold of the phone while he went to speak to the doctor.

"I would like to bring my daughter in to play with her over the weekend if that's okay. I know she can use a friend any my daughter is very well behaved."

Doctor Tsumori nodded in agreement. "She hasn't had any visitors. There are some aunts and uncles around, but none of them want the burden of this sickly child."

Nowaki nodded. "What exactly is the matter with her?"

"It's not good. Aside from being malnourished, she has cystic fibrosis, which can be debilitating. It wasn't taken care of properly, so her lungs are pretty much damaged. She wouldn't even be given the opportunity of a transplant because of how hopeless a case it is." Tsumori lowered his head in sadness. "Being a doctor is hard work, but even more so when you see a little child with no one in the world to help her die happily."

This news almost made the good social worker cry. Then he had a wild idea pop into his head. Takahashi-kun had mentioned wanting something to do to keep him from being lonely and this little girl needed someone too.

"Doctor, would it be alight if myself, a friend, and my daughter took Haru-chan to the park on Saturday afternoon. I know it's not much, but it's what I have to offer." No matter how many times he'd been told, Nowaki still let his heart get taken by each and every ward he'd come across.

The doctor was more than pleased with this display and immediately agreed as long as they had her back no later than seven in the evening and Nowaki was taught how to change the IV. Nowaki spent an hour learning how to change the IV bag and check the child's blood pressure, as well as clap her back to release the mucus that built up occasionally. After being told numerous times he was a natural, Nowaki felt confident in his ability to show the girl a good time.

/GG/

Getting the college student to agree to the outing was an easy accomplishment. Nowaki observed that the younger man was searching for friends in an almost desperate fashion. It made the man wonder about the teenager's past that would have him accept anyone as a friend who would talk to him. During a discussion he'd found out that the boy had a girlfriend a year older than him and that she was more the leader in their relationship. The feelings that this development brought on were weighing on the youth's mind so Nowaki opened his door to the boy any time he needed to talk. Takahashi-kun had thanked him but said he didn't want to cause any trouble. After being reassured it would be no trouble, the kid had finally relented and said he would seek the older man out if anything was bothering him.

The two males had decided it would be fun and educational to shoot off a potato launcher, so Misaki had borrowed the materials from the maths department at M. University and the warm afternoon found the four outside launching potatoes into the lake in the park.

"Now you need to stay back here and not move girls." Nowaki instructed the two young ladies who were gripping Misaki's hand in excitement. "This is not a toy and is intended for adults only. I will let you load the potatoes if you want, but then you need to stand back."

"Okay, daddy!" Myu said with a grin.

"Okay Kusama-san." Haru said, equally excited.

Misaki could feel both girls grip his hands tighter in excitement and it made him smile on a level he'd never felt before. He began to wonder what it would be like when he had daughters of his own. Would it feel the same way?

Nowaki lit the launcher and jumped back as it got ready to ignite. He leaned down next to Haru as the potato flew into the lake with a large splash right in the middle. The two girls cheered and jumped up into the air and then asked to go again.

For hours they alternated letting each child have a chance to put a potato into the launcher. Then Nowaki would launch it and the girls would scream with excitement. This was how life should have been for all children; excitement with no end.

As the afternoon at the park drew closer to an end, both girls were tired, but happy. Nowaki carried Haru in his arms back toward the car while Misaki gave Myu a piggy back ride. The social worker could tell just by looking into the young girl's eyes that she had been given a gift she'd never experienced before. And she was happy, that was the most important thing.

In the car both children fell asleep, so Misaki was able to ask more about what was going to happen to Haru-chan. He hung his head in silence when he found out there was nothing that could be done to save the little girl. It made his heart ache that with all the knowledge people had, there was no cure for cystic fibrosis. Nowaki watched as he sent a text message to one of his professors, asking for some time off after classes to visit the girl instead of assisting with classes. From what he gathered the professor immediately grumbled about it, but gave in because it was for a child. Nowaki smiled at how that professor was probably an ogre on the outside, but a big softie on the inside.

The following weeks found Nowaki running into Misaki at the hospital to be with the girl. Nowaki brought his family to see her a few times, but for the most part it was him coming during lunch to eat with her. Misaki would come over after his classes and work-study ended. Occasionally the two men's paths crossed, but not all the time.

It was at three o'clock in the morning that Nowaki got the call that Haruka had passed on. Not wanting to wake his wife, he went to the front room and cried on the sofa. Misaki had been there when she passed and held the little girl's hand until her last breath was taken. Doctor Tsumori had to accompany the young man back to the university dorms, and then he called Nowaki to tell him the news.

In all the sadness Nowaki kept it in his mind that he and the college student had given that little girl the family she had always deserved. It didn't take blood relatives to make a family, and a family could easily have had two males instead of the traditional male and female family. This played on his mind quite a bit as he felt that it was okay to give the girl two daddies instead of a mommy and a daddy.

The following day a letter had been delivered to Nowaki from the hospital. Inside the envelope, written in a child's hand, was the following: Dear God, thank you for giving me two daddies to play with and a sister to love. Again Nowaki felt tears streaming down his face and he laminated the letter and hung it from his office wall next to the family portrait of him, Shizuka, and the kids taken just a few months prior.

/GG/

Author's Note

Potato launchers are real and should not be taken lightly. They take a firm hand and a lot of time and patience. Due to the issues that can occur when launching a potato gun please do not launch on your own. Also, if you are under 18 then there should be an adult around who can assist because the timing has to be right to avoid injury. Children should not be around potato launchers unsupervised and children under the age of eight should not be around them to begin with.


	8. Shinobu Monogatari 3

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 3

**(2009)**

The phrase "all good things must come to an end" has been used to reference many things in life. Truth be told, all good or bad things end and new things begin. One door opening means another door is closing and a person can either go through that door or stay in the past and miss the present and the future.

It is a person's own fault if they remain trapped in the past, fuming over transgressions that occurred years ago. All anyone needs to do is grab hold of the doorknob, turn, and walk through the door to the other side. The door doesn't even have to close, it can remain open as a gentle reminder of the past, just as long as the person continues to live on the other side and cross through more doors as they appear.

Shinobu had made his family proud. He'd graduated at the top of his class, was accepted to the most prestigious schools in the world, and had decided to attend law school after finishing his undergraduate. Harvard Law had accepted him without question when he'd taken the LSATs while still in high school and scoring a 178. The high school graduate had accepted going to Harvard once completion of his business degree at University of Melbourne was complete.

Thanks to his mother running interference for him, Shinobu was let off from any omiai in the near future, given an opportunity to attend top ranked world schools, and he was able to spend his last year of high school with his friends and Lorelei. Unfortunately, as mentioned before, all good things must come to an end. Lorelei was planning on attending school in America rather than stay in Australia. Even though Shinobu was the younger one mentally when they had started going out, he had surpassed her rather quickly. Maybe it was the sex or maybe it was the seriousness he took his schooling.

Either way, he broke it off with the girl a few months before she left for America. It wasn't a nasty break up, quite the contrary. They remained in contact with one another throughout the summer and even planned on getting together in New York over spring break during their first year of college.

Shinobu had become more Australian than Japanese in his four years abroad. He was also popular, though rather aloof, and smart on top of everything else. No one who had met the young man would have thought he couldn't snag a new girlfriend in a heartbeat. He wasn't thinking about girls though, he was more interested in finishing school, early if possible, so he could move on to another path.

The boy had started becoming restless rather easily and things didn't hold his attention as much anymore. It was as if something were pawing at the back of his head the way a dog digs for a bone in the backyard. He could feel it, but just didn't know what it was.

University of Melbourne was a picturesque school located on a beautiful tract of land. The buildings reminded Shinobu of the older buildings he'd seen on his high school trip to London in his sophomore year. He wasn't particularly impressed, but he was comfortable with his decision to attend.

After some careful research, Shinobu found out that he could fast-track through the program and graduate in less than the customary three years if he put his mind to it. So he loaded up on a full block of courses a term to ensure he was able to graduate as quickly as possible. He was advised that taking so many credits could be detrimental to the learning process, but the boy didn't care. The university ended up relenting after seeing his scores throughout his high school career.

Shinobu walked onto campus with his meager possessions and toward the orientation building. He knew the orientation was still a few hours away, but he wanted to put his clothes into his room and rest before being forced to deal with a lot of new people. The room assignments were being handed out when he arrived at his destination. He was aware others would be there; he just didn't realize so many people would show up this early on the orientation day. Oh well, no use fretting over something that cannot be changed.

He walked to the line marked S-T and waited until he reached the front of the line. A boy with a sour expression on his face was sitting on the chair behind the desk. Had Shinobu been a girl he was sure the looks of this person would have turned him to mush. He was tall and lanky like Shinobu, had deep red hair and intense blue eyes. By many standards he was absolutely perfect.

"Name." The boy said without even looking up.

"Takatsuki. Shinobu Takatsuki."

The boy with red hair searched through the pile, found the required envelope and handed it to Shinobu. "Sign this." He said forking over a clipboard with a list of names.

Shinobu easily found his and signed the paper.

"That envelope includes your dorm card for entering the dorm. The code needed to enter your room and the code needed to count your meals. Don't forget those. There is also a list of emergency numbers, both on campus and off. It is not necessary to memorize the, but it would be wise to put most of them in your mobile to have in case of an emergency."

Shinobu listened to the boy drone on for a few more minutes. Not once did the boy make eye-contact much less acknowledge Shinobu was even a person standing in front of him. All the better in his mind. The less he had to deal with people the better, he thought.

After the boring spiel given to him by the boy, Shinobu went to his dorm and into the room. His parents had given him a room of his own, even though he said he was fine sharing. Then again, he would be studying a lot and that meant he needed to have as much quiet as possible, so an individual room was a good investment.

After putting his few items of clothing away (he'd learned that being a minimalist was a good thing because it meant less crap to deal with) he looked at his class schedule. The schedule included both macro and micro-economics, a business math course, qualitative research, an English course (because he was a foreigner), intro to business, and intro to accounting. To him the list looked like child's play, to someone else they may as well just pass out from the requirements.

Glancing at the clock the student realized he still had two hours to kill before the opening ceremony. True to being a college student and a boy, he flopped down on his bed and fell asleep. The prior week had been exhausting and he just wanted to sleep for forty-eight hours to make up for the lack of sleep he'd had.

/GG/

Shinobu woke up to the sounds of other students in the hallway outside his door. He was drowsy and wanted to go back to sleep, but he was also hungry and had to pee. Nature calling was more important than sleep, so he stood up and stretched out his tired muscles to get the oxygen flowing into his system. At that point he looked at the clock and realized he'd slept through orientation and it was seven o'clock at night, which meant the mess hall was closed. Great. What a way to start off his college experience.

He wasn't going to let that deter him and he left his room in search of a snack machine and the nearest toilet. The snack machine was on the first floor next to the common room and the toilet was just beyond. That made his trip easy.

Looking around he took in the sea of faces. Each person looked the same to him, just another lemming in the crowd on his or her way to gaining higher education. The one who did stand out was the red-head who had given him his papers earlier.

He watched as the boy showed others where to go and figured he must have been a dorm leader or the like. That was good to know and his looks stood out enough he'd be able to find him if necessary. New information filed in his head, Shinobu went back to his room to sleep until he needed to wake up for breakfast the next morning.

/GG/

The morning came earlier than Shinobu wanted, but got up anyway so he could take a shower before heading off toward the canteen. The boy's showers were located on the second floor, so he went upstairs and walked inside. They were similar to the ones at his high school, only there were more showerheads.

He wasn't the only one in the shower at five in the morning either. That same person with red hair was in the corner lathering himself with body wash. Shinobu caught himself staring at the other's physique and it made him tingle in areas where he shouldn't have been tingling.

Turning away as quickly as possible, Shinobu went to one of the private stalls for his shower and washed his body. The image of the one with red hair popped into his mind again. How the water rolled off his tight, firm ass. The expression on the boys face as he cleaned off his member, hidden under curly hairs.

Shinobu hadn't intended to look, but he saw that the penis on the other boy was circumcised and it made him start to harden.

"Fuck!" He all but shouted under his breath. "I can't be getting hard looking at another man. I am not gay."

This didn't really help him in any way though as it just caused him to think more about the other person and that resulted in a stiff Johnson just waiting to be touched. Obviously the problem wasn't about to go away, so Shinobu quickly alleviated the issue and got out of the shower in record time. His head was spinning and not in a good way.

Once in his dorm he went to look for pictures of the girls he'd been friends with and of course Lorelei. The thoughts of her still made him sensitive, but nowhere near as sensitive as how the red-headed boy made him. Realizing nothing could be done, he decided to go for a stroll about the campus and clear his head before breakfast.

Strolling did the trick and he was fine as he ate. Breakfast consisted of sugary crap and a few western style options such as eggs and bacon. Shinobu ate a yogurt and ended up with a strange craving for cabbage. Of course there was no cabbage anywhere, so he just ate his yogurt and left. For some reason, unbeknownst to him, he decided to all but ignore everyone. It was completely opposite how he had been in high school. While part of that life he was open, spoke to people, and laughed. Now he felt as if he was supposed to be brooding all the time and not caring about anyone else in the world.

This new development didn't seem to bother the youth, so he left and went about his day plan. The campus was rather large and he wanted to find all of his classes before the first day so he wouldn't get lost. Since no one was roaming the buildings he figured it was a good time to look without being bothered.

His first two classes were in the same room, just at different times. The first class started at eight in the morning and his second was at nine. Shinobu found the room easy enough and went looking for the second room.

On the second floor he discovered his third, fifth, and sixth classes. He guessed the final two were on the third floor, so he headed for the stairs and ascended. The student liked how easy it was to locate the rooms and how they were all in the same building. Someone had been using their head when they designed the place.

On his way to the first room on the third floor he heard a crash from behind. Interest aroused he turned around and went looking for the noise. In an end classroom stood the boy with red hair. He seemed to be rearranging the closet in the back of the room.

Shinobu walked into the room and eyed the boy, who had turned around and eyed him back. He was right in that the boy had startlingly piercing eyes that drove through his own like a stake through the heart. His heart started to beat harder in his chest.

"Classes don't start till tomorrow, what are you doing here?" The other asked.

"I'm learning my way around to avoid confusion tomorrow."

"That's smart. More people should do that instead of wait till last minute." He continued working and ignoring Shinobu. Then he thought better of it and turned to face his junior. "Instead of standing there like an idiot, why don't you help me?"

Shinobu just nodded and walked forward, willing the sound of his heart not to be heard. What was this? Love at first sight. God, he hoped not.

"I'm Alan. Second year in the business department."

"Shinobu, I'm new, obviously."

Alan chuckled, "Obviously." He then went to the door to the closet. "Here's what we're going to do. I will tell you what I want, you bring it to me. We can get this done in twenty minutes and then you can go about your little adventure."

The older boy's tone was snide, but Shinobu found it didn't really bother him all that much. In fact it sounded very natural to the boy. Alan seemed to have a personality that Shinobu admired and a body that made him feel very weird.

It didn't really take all that much time to finish with the room and during that time Shinobu had been able to drag some small bits of conversation out of his senior. Alan was at the school on scholarship that required he work quite a bit to keep attending. He was from a poor neighborhood and his family had no money. He was working his ass off to graduate and help provide for his younger siblings. Shinobu found that admirable, though he'd never admit it.

The last box was heavy and Shinobu found it was going to require two hands to get up onto the shelf. He and Alan worked together to lift the box and place it where it belonged. As luck would have it the small space they were working with caused both men to fall onto the floor in a heap.

"Ugh." Shinobu groaned as he looked at Alan who had landed on top of him.

What happened immediately following neither boy could agree on, but one or the other instigated a kiss that left both breathless. Shinobu could feel sparks coursing through his veins as he felt the older boy suck on his lower lip and tongue in a frenzy. The pure animalistic draw to one another had them both panting and breathless and hard within moments.

The kissing didn't stop though and after regaining a semblance of décor they continued with their heated make-out session. Shinobu had no idea kissing a man could be such a turn on. Already he wanted to take his pants off and pound Alan's sweet ass into the next dimension. Just the thought almost made him squirt a load into his pants.

Alan broke the kiss and started to stand up.

"Where are you going?" Shinobu demanded in the heat of lust.

"To lock the door. Do you want someone else who has your same ideas to walk in on us fucking in a classroom?"

The man had a point and within moments Alan was straddling Shinobu and the two were clawing each other's cloths off. What followed can only be described as a train wreck of passion and lust that left both boys hot. Shinobu got ready to become the seme when he stopped. Something was wrong. The look on Alan's lustful face wasn't wrong. What was wrong was the positions.

Shinobu eased himself onto his back and pulled the startled Alan into a more dominant position.

"Take me." He whispered heatedly.

Alan looked at his sweaty junior with wide eyes. "But I don't top." He stated.

"You do now." Shinobu snarled.

Two rounds later both boys went about the rest of their day. An unspoken agreement was given that from then on they would only fuck each other and no one else would know. In other words, they were going to remain in the closet.


	9. Misaki Monogatari 3

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 3

**(2009)**

There is an old parable where the sun and the wind are trying to figure out who amongst the two is stronger. They choose a passing traveler to test their strength on and see which of the two can make said traveler remove his cloak. The wind blows and blows, but all that does is make the traveler tighten his hold on the cloak. The sun then shines and the traveler removes his cloak.

This story is passed down from an old Greek legend, and can be used in multiple contexts. In the case of some it starts out that the opposition is like the wind, blowing and complaining about something which causes the other party to hold tighter to what he or she believes. But if the one doing the complaining turns into the sun, the opposition can turn into putty in his or her hand. To the naked eye that seems like a shady thing to do, and it is, especially when the one in opposition is so trusting.

Misaki Takahashi did a fairly good job of maintaining an average grade point average through his first year of college. His brother was so happy for him he threw a party. Misaki had invited Shizuka and her family, but Daito and Myu both came down with the flu and neither parent wanted to possibly transfer the sickness to anyone else. His brother invited Hiroki Kamijou and Kamijou's boyfriend Sato-san. So along with the two Takahashi brothers, and his brother's wife, it was a small gathering of eating and drinking. Kimiko was invited as well so Misaki wouldn't be lonely.

After Takahiro had moved back to Tokyo, Misaki moved out of the dorms and in with his brother and sister-in-law. They were expecting a baby any moment it seemed. Misaki didn't want to add to the burden, but his brother had been so insistent he couldn't turn him down.

Over the course of the year Misaki had dated Kimiko on and off. They weren't an official couple because Misaki had so much he was dealing with he didn't want to bother her. She just bided her time until he was ready. Patience was something she seemed to have a lot of and Misaki appreciated her for that.

The dinner party went by without a hitch and everyone in the Takahashi household had gone to bed. At least Misaki had tried to go to bed until he received a phone call from Kimiko asking that he come visit her.

"We just saw one another." Misaki yawned into the phone.

"I know, but we never see each other anymore since you moved in with your brother. I miss you."

All Misaki wanted to do was curl up and sleep, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Even if he turned off his phone and ignored her she would be in his mind, playing with his head. Eventually he'd have gotten up and went to find her anyway.

Silently he crept from his room to the door. He was surprised to see she was sitting on his doorstep rather than in her dorm room.

"Kimiko?" He asked when he reached down to help her stand.

"I didn't want to go home by myself." She said innocently.

"You could have told me that. I would have walked you back to the dorms."

"But then you would have left since your brother was awake. Now that he's asleep I can keep you for the night."

This caused Misaki to blush slightly. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Come on," she said pulling his arm. "Let's go for a walk in the park."

Misaki nodded and let her pull him out the door and toward the park. He didn't really pay much attention to where they were going and by the time he realized where they were it was too late.

"Kimiko, what's this?" He asked in shock.

"It's a motel. I'm tired and I want to sleep."

"I can't let you sleep here, this place is dirty." He said, not catching her hint at all.

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad." She pressed. "Let's check it out."

He innocently agreed, not for once thinking she would try something on him. They walked into the motel and right up to a room where Kimiko produced a key that opened the door. Misaki looked at her with raised eyes. Still, they went into the room and Misaki looked around. The room was just as dirty as he imagined, at least in his mind he saw it as dirty. In actuality it was rather clean.

Kimiko didn't waste any time in turning Misaki toward her and kissing him hungrily. He kissed her back, after all he knew how to do that now. Misaki didn't even realize how heated the kissing became until he felt his pants start to bulge.

"Misaki, I think you're ready." Kimiko said with a giggle as she ran a finger over the bulge which caused Misaki to shiver.

Just that touch caused all of Misaki's inhibitions to fly from the window and he let her pull him to the bed where she started to strip him of his clothes. The back of his mind was telling him to fight it, but his body wasn't listening any more at the current time then it had when Usami had jacked him off. He wasn't even aware of the sensations until it was over.

"Wow, you come quick." She stated. "We'll have to remedy that in the future.

Misaki wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. They'd had sex for a whole fifteen seconds and he came. That had to have been a record worthy of Guinness.

The college student let his mind wander while Kimiko rode on top of him. Misaki just laid back and let her have her way with him until it hurt to have another climax. He had lost count. Once he got his point about the pain across she let him alone and went to take a shower. He curled up into a ball on the bed and fell asleep, completely disgusted in himself.

/GG/

The next morning, when Kimiko was still sleeping in the seedy motel room, Misaki did something he never thought he would do; he left her sleeping and stole away. Staying in that room was giving him horrible thoughts and he just wanted to be away from those visions. He felt horrible on two different levels; one in that he had just had multiple rounds of unprotected sex with someone and that he had left that someone in a shady motel because it hurt him to stay there with her.

Misaki continued trekking on without thinking where he was going. He knew he'd get somewhere eventually, but the thoughts running around in his head kept him from coherently thinking about it. He The boy didn't want to go home, but he needed to go home or Takahiro would be worried about him. If his brother was home then he'd have to explain where he'd run off to in the middle of the night and that wasn't something he wanted to do.

His feet seemed to have the answer he was looking for because he ended up at the Kusama residence. Over the course of his first year of university he'd come to trust both Kusama-san and Kusama-senpai. If anything either would be someone he could open up to about what he'd just done and who he'd done it with. The kids were sick, he recalled, but maybe one of them would be willing to speak with him in private.

Tentatively he knocked softly on the door and hoped that someone was there. He also hoped that no one was there too, so he was in a deadlock with his thoughts.

The door opened slowly and Kusama-san stood looked outside.

"Takahashi-kun, what's the matter?"

Immediately upon the big man's question leaving his lips Misaki broke into tears and sat down on his knees in the entryway.

"Come inside." Nowaki pressed, hoping the young man would get out of the doorway. Misaki listened and walked inside, tears streaking his face as he thought about what he would say. He didn't even know where to begin.

Lucky for him Kusama didn't press and just made a nice cup of tea and let Misaki drink slowly, giving him the time to come up with his reason for calling before seven am. He looked at the slightly older man and smiled.

"Thank you." He said softly. "I didn't know where else to go and you said I could talk to you."

"Of course, anything." Nowaki let the boy finish his tea before raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"I guess I had sex last night." Misaki just blurted it out before thinking, something he was prone to doing.

"Is that why you are crying? Was it consensual?"

"Not really, I mean I didn't say no, but I didn't want to do it. I've told her before that I didn't think I was ready, but she never listens to me."

"I am sorry, Takahashi-kun. Did you want to speak to the police?"

Misaki shook his head. "I don't want to bother anyone and it's a case of he-said, she said. Even if I say I didn't want it she can say that I never told her no, so we would be at a stale-mate."

Kusama studied the boy closely. There was something deeper bothering him than just what happened the prior night. He could tell just by looking at the way Misaki was sitting and fidgeting.

"Was that your first time?" Kusama urged.

Misaki nodded. "It was my first time with intercourse, but someone before had given me a hand job."

"Was that consensual?"

"No. I was even able to say stop during that."

Bingo, his issue was probably rooted from that first experience.

"Did you ever tell the person who performed oral on you how it made you feel?"

The boy lowered his head even further and shook it. "No, but more than the fact that he had done that to me, it was that my telling my brother lost Takahiro his best friend. It was his best friend who did that to me and because I wasn't man enough to take it, my brother lost his best friend."

"Wait a moment Takahashi-kun. Whether it was your brother's best friend or not isn't the point. The point is he did something to you that you didn't want. It wasn't your fault." Nowaki had seen kids like Misaki all the time, took all the blame in and placed it on themselves rather than realizing it wasn't their fault.

"I don't understand though Kusama-san. Why am I not able to be a man and stand up for myself or even admit that my body likes the feelings that come from sex? I had eight orgasms last night and I liked the feel of every single one of them. I even liked the one that Usami did on me, but I find it so embarrassing it's like I'm a girl."

Nowaki took a deep breath. This was going to be an interesting conversation. Obviously the boy's brother didn't get around to explaining some things to Misaki. Most of the issues involving sex with minors could have been alleviated had the parent or guardian been more open on the subject.

"Takahashi-kun. Sex creates different feelings for each individual. No one is going to have the exact same response to it that you will because that other person is not you. Someone might view sex as just a way to feel good for a short time while others might view it as something special to do with someone they love. Do you love either person who gave you the pleasure?"

"No." Misaki admitted. One of them he barely knew and the other one just didn't feel right. "I didn't really know Usami-san so I couldn't have been in love with him. Kimiko, I've known her for about a year, but I just don't feel that it's right with her. I'm the man, so I should be the one pleasing her, not her pleasing herself on me."

"So there wasn't any pleasure for you in what you did?"

"Well, there was. I mean when I came it felt good, it always does, but she didn't just give me pleasure like Usami-san did. He didn't even get himself off; he just gave it to me."

Nowaki nodded.

"I think, Takahashi-kun that you need to speak to Usami-san and explain what he did to you was wrong and that it hurt you."

Misaki looked at Nowaki with a sad expression. "I can't do that because I promised my brother I wouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. What he did to me hurt Takahiro quite a bit and because of that my brother told him to stay away from us."

"Has he done that?" Nowaki asked softly.

"He didn't at first, but eventually we were able to block him. It's been more than a year since I've seen or spoken to him. I only really spoke with him that one day."

"Was that conversation before or after you were violated?"

"The bulk of the conversation was after."

"Why did you stay with him if he did that to you?"

Misaki thought back to that day for a few moments. He recalled being on edge, but he also recalled feeling as if he could trust the man, even though said man had given him a hand job. Those feelings weren't present when he was with Kimiko.

"I guess that even though he had done that I still felt safe with him. There was just something about the guy that even though he was a pervert, he would have taken care of me."

Nowaki blinked soundly as he worked through the information in his head. The way it sounded wasn't that Misaki was harboring issues with sex, but he was harboring issues with feelings of remorse. The kid actually felt bad about breaking up his brother and his brother's best friend. Because of those feelings he had attributed any sort of sexual act as bad because it reminded him of what had transpired between Takahiro and Usami-san.

"I think I understand now, Takahashi-kun. You are not going against sex itself, but you are holding a grudge against yourself because of what happened between your brother and your brother's ex-best friend."

"What do you mean?" Misaki asked, confused.

"I mean that you seem to have forgiven Usami for his transgression, but because of your brother breaking his friendship over it, you are withholding all of the pleasure associated with sex from yourself as an unconscious punishment." Nowaki stated.

"So I am punishing myself for causing this breakup?" Misaki tried to wrap his head around the revelation. "And the punishment is to feel badly about sex?"

"That sounds about right, put into simple terms."

"But what about how embarrassed I feel when the topic comes up?"

Nowaki smiled at this. The kid was so innocent.

"Just because you are a man doesn't mean you need to be all gung-ho about sex. You are probably just not with the person who makes you feel comfortable enough regarding the situation. Then again, you may just be a little sensitive about the topic. There's nothing wrong with being embarrassed about such an intimate time in a person's life."

"Then how do I get over being embarrassed?"

"My thoughts on the matter are that you just haven't found the right person. When you find that right person it makes your heart soar every time you make love. What you did last night wasn't what you were looking for. Yes, it may have been pleasurable, but it wasn't what you wanted as a person. Give yourself some time to find that right person and it will make you feel that much more comfortable."

Misaki thought long and hard about what Kusama-san had said. If he was able to get his head out of the past then maybe he could enjoy sex, even if it was with Kimiko. He wasn't sure that the girl was who he wanted to be with in the long run, but at least he could try and enjoy the experiences she would give him.

He decided then and there to give Kimiko a little more time to grow on his. It wasn't like he was at an age where he needed to get married. Wasn't college for exploring opportunities anyway? After pouring his heart out to Kusama-san, he felt that much better and completely liberated from the feelings that had been welling up inside of his heart.

/GG/

The North Wind and the Sun is an Aesop's Fable.


	10. Nowaki Monogatari 4

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 4

**(2010)**

Sometimes fate has a funny way of popping up in the most unexpected of places and/or times. What a person thinks they want isn't what they want until a tiny bit of light from the opposite direction catches their eye. Oftentimes people ignore that feeling deep in the pit of their stomach as a passing fancy. This feeling will then start to build up over time until it consumes the person and they may become scared. Why is this feeling not going away?

Acting on such feelings can cause a whole slew of unwanted repercussions. No one really wants to cause problems over a gut feeling. That is until that gut feeling becomes all consuming and keeps that person from being able to function in the real world.

Nowaki sat at the table with his son teaching the boy how to use 'big boy' chopsticks instead of the training chopsticks he'd been using up until that time. At kindergarten Daito had seen one of his classmates using them and decided it was time he learned to as well. Myu sat by watching with interest, after all, she already used adult chopsticks, as she named them.

It was one of those days where Shizuka had to go to an all-day Saturday class at the university, so Nowaki was the only parent home with his kids. He enjoyed the bonding time he got to spend on those single days that happened sporadically throughout the year. His wife would be in school another three years as a part-timer before she earned her degree, which ensured he would be having a few more of the daddy-time Saturdays with his kids.

On those days the only language spoken was English. Nowaki and Shizuka had both been proud that their daughter had been chosen over hundreds of other applicants to attend an English-only speaking school. As a reward for this hard work the Tanaka's had sent the small family on a trip to California in America to go to Disney Land. Speaking English and going to this school had brought a lot of honor to the family.

"Daddy." Daito broke the quiet as he speared an egg. "Can we go to the park today and light off bottle rockets?"

On one prior occasion when Daito was three Nowaki had taken him to the park for a father-son outing. At the park they lit off bottle rockets together and since that day the boy wanted nothing more than to do it again. Nowaki couldn't turn him down when it was such a beautiful day.

"Sure, if Myu wants to." Nowaki nodded toward the seven year old mini-him.

"Can I light one of these this time or is it too dangerous like the potato launcher?" The memory of that day brought tears to Myu's blue eyes when she recalled that Haru-chan wouldn't ever join them for a play-date anymore.

"Sure, this time you and Daito can each light off two rockets each."

Nowaki knew what the girl was thinking, as both were sympathetic to one another's feelings. It amazed the man how his baby girl was growing up to be just like him. His son, on the other hand, was just like Shizuka and Nowaki couldn't have been happier about that turn of events. His wife was one of the strongest people he knew; she worked hard, was dedicated to her family, and always made sure that every dinner was spent as a family.

All in all, Nowaki had to say he was the luckiest man on Earth. He had a wonderful family, a job he adored, and good people to share his life with. There was nothing more that he could think of he needed.

/GG/

The park wasn't as crowded as he would have expected. There were a few people running around, but other than that it was a rather quite place. Nowaki was glad for this fact since it gave more room to shoot off rockets.

He set the base up while the kids watched, each holding onto a rocket of their very own. With a smile he turned toward his children and announced the base was ready and that one of them could come forward for the first launch. The kids played rock, paper, scissors to see who would go first and Daito won. With a resounding YEAH! the boy ran toward his father and handed him the rocket.

"Now I never want you touching a lighter unless I am here with you, and only use a lighter for lighting off rockets, okay?" Nowaki said to his son.

"Okay, daddy." The boy said as he held the lighter carefully and bent down to light the fuse.

Nowaki picked the boy up and stepped back next to his daughter and the three watched the rocket take-off and become airborn. It shot up into the sky and arced it way back down. Once it crashed onto the ground both kids jumped up and down, shrieking in delight.

"Again! Again! Again!" Shouted Daito with a grin plastered on his little face as he ran to retrieve the rocket.

"Okay, it's Myu's turn though."

Nowaki placed his son a good distance away and told him to stay. He led his daughter to the base. She put the rocket on herself and then waited for Nowaki to hand her the lighter. Carefully, she lit the fuse, grabbed her daddy's hand and pulled him back to where her brother stood waiting.

The rocket flew into the sky again and both kids danced around in a circle. Nowaki took that time to snap a picture with his mobile phone. Moments like there were too precious not to make a memory of.

Another rocket was set to launch after Myu had rounded up hers. She stood back as her father and brother lit another, which was quickly airborn. Nowaki then felt the wind pick up and the rocket veered off-course and started to fall right next to a bench.

He didn't even get a chance to call out to the lone occupant of the bench before the rocket crashed at his feet, causing the man to jolt from whatever thought he was occupied with. Daito took off running with Nowaki close behind. If anything he wanted to make sure the guy wasn't about to have a heart attack.

"Hey, mister, are you okay?" Daito asked as he picked up his rocket from the man's feet.

Nowaki came upon the scene and locked eyes with the man. Immediately he felt something pull at the back of his mind when the man's red eyed burrowed holes into his own. It was a feeling he'd never felt before in his life and the feeling grew with every second he was standing there.

"I am so sorry sir; I hope we didn't scare you." Nowaki apologized, bowing his body at a forty-five degree angle.

The man spoke and it brought about a sense of déjà vu.

"I'm fine." The man turned his head away as if embarrassed. Nowaki immediately found it adorable.

Adorable! What was going on in his head?

"Are you sure? I can call someone if you need me to."

"I said…" The man started slowly, "I am fine."

That was the end of the conversation and Nowaki could feel the man's uncomfortable vibes emanating from his person. Not wanting to pester him anymore he took hold of his son's hand and started to walk back toward the launch site.

"Bye-bye, mister!" His son called with a wave.

Nowaki had the sneaking suspicion he knew the man from somewhere, but he didn't know where. The feelings he felt were not normal, especially for a married man. So he did what most people do, he pushed them aside and went on with his morning.

The last rocket was launched and again the kids were singing and dancing with happiness at the sight. It brought a smile to Nowaki's lips and he watched as his daughter went to retrieve the rocket, which had managed to stay away from pedestrians. Still, the nagging feeling in his head caused him to turn toward the bench again while his children ran about the grass in a playful frenzy.

The man was still sitting there. He has his face bowed toward the ground and he looked sad, but there were no tears. Then again, what man would want to be crying in public, Nowaki thought. He watched as another man came over and sat down. The interaction between the two indicated something more than a professional relationship.

This new person, he was tall, but not as tall as Nowaki. He was on the lean side with a kind face and a happy smile. Nowaki watched as this man took hold of the other's hand and this caused a feeling of jealousy to surge from deep within.

How could they be holding hands?

Wait…

What…

In no way was there any reason for Nowaki to be jealous of a man whom he didn't even know. He didn't know the man's name, or anything else about him for that matter. The feelings of jealousy were completely ridiculous and for the first time in a while Nowaki was scared. Not scared of the feelings though, scared that he had lost something he didn't even know he had.

/GG/

The remainder of the day was spent at the park, followed by an ice cream cone each on the way home. The kids chatted happily about the rockets and how they wanted to shoot them off again. Myu was already planning her next birthday party because she wanted everyone to come shoot rockets at the park.

Nowaki was stuck in a world of his own. It was like he was there, but he wasn't. He was aware of time passing and conversing with his kids. Something wasn't right though. The man found himself constantly looking over his shoulder to where the park bench was located. Even when they reached the car and the bench was nowhere in sight he was still looking in that general direction.

Time was passing as if he were having an out of body experience. He was watching himself from a different vantage point and what he saw wasn't him. The person he was wasn't the person he saw driving a car with his kids safely buckled up in the backseat. What had caused all of these strange feelings and why were they causing the man to feel sick?

Upon returning home Nowaki did something he'd never done before. He put in a movie to babysit the kids while he tried to figure out what was wrong with his head. Being kids they didn't complain, but it made him feel like less of a father for not sitting and watching the movie with them.

The problem was simple. What caused him to feel the way he felt toward this man when he didn't even know him? The more he tried to think about it the more he couldn't focus. It was like something was keeping him from being able to understand everything going on in his mind. Something was messing with him and it made Nowaki feel rather agitated.

The rest of the afternoon died and turned into evening. Nowaki made dinner and got the kids ready for when their mom would come home. She returned like clockwork, did her evening ritual and then the family sat down to have supper.

Nothing changed. Everything was how it had always been. Pleasantries were exchanged, the kids talked about their day. Shizuka explained her class to the kids so they knew why she was away for an entire Saturday. It was exactly the same thing, over and over again. There was no excitement. Had life become boring, with just a look into another person's eyes?

Those red eyes haunted him, called to him, made him feel a longing he'd never felt before. Had he not been married for years with two beautiful children, Nowaki'd have sworn he'd fallen in love at first sight. He was too old to believe in that sort of fantasy and he had other things to think about; his family.

Yet, as he sat at the dinner table with his family, somehow they had all become strangers to him. Something wasn't right and it was eating away at his mind. The fact that it was happening this quickly scared the man senseless and he didn't want anyone else to catch on, so he excused himself and went to the bathroom.

Nowaki turned the toilet into a chair and sat with his head in his hands as he tried to sort out the typhoon of emotions going through his soul. He couldn't find a foothold to even steady him and the feeling made him dizzy. What he should have been thinking about were his kids.

The man took out his mobile and found the picture he'd taken of his kids at the park. It was a little blurry where the kids were concerned because they had been moving. Taking a closer look he saw a figure in the background. The figure made his heart jump into his throat. Nowaki enlarged the image and saw that it was the man from the park. He was looking right at the camera and Nowaki could just imagine those red eyes looking directly through the camera into his soul.

What the fuck!

Nowaki rarely swore, but in this case he thought he was entitled to a little bit of profanity. He was confused, and too many thoughts were running through his head. A place to think that was away from his home, away from his life. That was what he needed.

Again he looked at the picture and his eyes closed in on the bench. That was where he could think and it was on that bench that he could figure out what was going on with his psyche.

Nowaki didn't say a word as he put his shoes on and walked out the door, his kids calling after him. He didn't answer his mobile when it rang a dozen times or indicated he'd received two dozen text messages. For the first time in his life he was on autopilot and nothing was going to be able to stop him from finding out the answers he so desperately needed.


	11. Shinobu Monogatari 4

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 4

**(2010)**

Destiny has a funny way of playing with the heart and with the mind. Many people don't believe in destiny while others spend their whole lives believing such an occurrence exists. Others believe a person has to make his or her own destiny. One cannot have a destiny if one does not create it within themselves. It's almost like little hints are scattered throughout life pointing the direction and only those who are looking find them.

These little hints can come in the form of subconscious thought as well. If one's destiny is already known then other things in the person's life can take on that physique. The mind is a mysterious thing that likes to play tricks on those who are not watching. One has to wonder which tricks are being played and what is actually destiny.

Shinobu was having a flashback. It wasn't a very good flashback either. The content of said flashback had left the boy extremely jaded and thus caused him to return to Japan at his earliest possible convenience. He wondered if it was because of something he had done. Was it his fault Alan had betrayed him after a year of being together?

_It was his day off and Shinobu was ready to return from work to see Alan. His senior had become an integral part of his life. Yes, there was the sex and it was good. But there was also the trust the two had built up with one another. Alan didn't want to tell the world he was gay and Shinobu didn't want to upset Alan, so their trysts tended to be secret. Such a secret tryst had been planned and Shinobu was going to cash it in. _

_He opened the door to Alan's apartment with the key left over the door. Alan wasn't supposed to be home for another hour, so Shinobu was going to shower and get himself comfortable. Shinobu was so wrapped up in thought he hadn't heard the noises coming from the bedroom. _

_When he opened the door he didn't know how to react. There was Alan, on the bed, with a girl and a boy. The man was having a threesome and he hadn't been invited. _

_Not knowing how to respond Shinobu turned and walked out of the apartment. He didn't even hear the other calling for him until he had walked across the street. Shinobu took one last look at Alan, wearing only boxer shorts, and walked down the street without a second glance. _

That was how Shinobu found himself sitting in his father's study, brooding and ready to strangle anyone who dared bring up his past. The boy didn't want to do anything anymore except sit in his room and read a book. His family couldn't get it through their thick skulls that he needed peace and kept pestering him to move on. Shinobu knew that if he had been more open about what had happened then they probably would have left him alone. The problem with that can of worms was he'd then be required to explain how long he'd been sexually active for and he wasn't in the mood for that discussion, with anyone.

"Shinobu," his father began after coming into the study, followed closely behind by his sister. "I wish to talk with you about some things regarding your return to Japan."

"Fine." Shinobu said, using the customary one word sentence he had gotten used to saying whenever being told something as of late.

"I am worried about you, so are your mother and sister."

"And?"

"And I want you to take a break from us. Obviously you need to be somewhere else and relax for a time. I don't know what happened to cause you to run back here like a dog with your tail between your legs, but you are scaring your mother and I don't like to see her like this."

Shinobu had been expecting something like this. The old man's way of telling him to go back to Australia and sort out his issues.

"I have asked Yoh Miyagi if you can rent his second bedroom for the time being and try to forget about your problems."

This was unexpected. Shinobu had been sure his father was going to ship him off to Australia again, not send him to his ex-brother-in-law. He didn't much care for the bastard, but that meant he would more than likely be left alone while over there.

"Fine." He said as he stood up to leave.

"Shinobu."

He looked at his father with hollow eyes.

"When you feel like talking we are here for you."

The boy left his father's study and went to pack a bag. If he was going to have to live with Miyagi he would need some clothes.

/GG/

Shinobu didn't like this new arrangement. The apartment was too cramped and while he had his own room, he now had to share a bathroom. Miyagi had been nice enough to give him an actual bed and not a futon, but he didn't like the idea of not being able to bathe for an hour without worrying about the older man walking into the bathroom on him.

He decided to put up with it though because that meant he didn't have to put up with his parents. In his mind Miyagi was the lesser of two evils. Besides, he was almost 100% certain his sister wouldn't bother coming to her ex's house, so he would be free from having to see her or the new guy she was seeing.

Unpacking didn't exactly take much time, so after he finished he found there was quite a bit of free time. He decided to explore the rest of the apartment. That wouldn't take long, but at least he wouldn't have to be bored.

The boy walked out of his room and into the common room. Miyagi was sitting on the sofa, grading papers, and smoking a cigarette.

"Hey old man, it may be alright to kill your lungs as your age, but you shouldn't smoke around someone my age. I have many more years to live than you." Shinobu deadpanned.

"It's my apartment, if you don't like it then go back into your room." The older man stated without even looking up.

"You're the one who decided to let me stay here as a guest, the least you could do is be hospitable." He went into the kitchen in search of food.

"I didn't actually want a brat here. I only agreed because I respect the dean and he said you wanted some time away. I want you here less than you want to be here."

These words actually made Shinobu feel bad for a fraction of a second. Then he decided it was useless talking to the man; he was like a brick wall. Instead he decided to cook something. He looked through the refrigerator and his eyes landed on a small head of cabbage. For some strange reason he had been craving the stuff for over a year. At least Miyagi was eating healthy.

Shinobu pulled out a skillet and some cooking sherry. If he was going to do this he was going to do it right. Of course he wasn't quite sure how to do what he wanted to do, but he could at least try. He chopped up the cabbage head rather quickly and then started to fry it in the skillet. A drop of cooking sherry was all he needed, but he ended emptying the bottle, which caused a small fire, which burned a hole into the ceiling. This, of course, caused Miyagi to freak out and douse the fire with water from the tap.

"What in the hell are you trying to do brat? Do you want to burn the place down?"

"Like you care." Shinobu snarled as he went to his room and locked the door.

"Hey, Shinobu!" He could hear Miyagi call for him but he just ignored the man. Dealing with him now was not on his mind.

/GG/

The days slowly turned into weeks and during that time he was relentless in his dealings with the old man. He just didn't care anymore and Miyagi was getting on his nerves. The man kept pestering him to find out what was going on in Shinobu's head. The youth, for his part, didn't want to have anything to do with the elder. He had no problems pointing that out on more than one occasion. Still, Miyagi tried. Even Shinobu could see the old man was trying his hardest to get Shinobu to open up. That wasn't going to work. He wasn't about to fall for the charms of another man (or woman) ever again. All he wanted to do was get through the next little bit so he could go to school and forget about life again for a while.

On a not-so-typical morning Shinobu woke to find Miyagi had laid out a western style breakfast, one he had gotten used to while in Australia. There were scrambled eggs, bacon strips, hash browns, toast, coffee, milk, and juice. Had Shinobu not been against the world at that moment he would have found the site sweet in many ways.

"You are free to sit down and eat." Miyagi said absentmindedly from behind his newspaper. "I thought it may make you feel better to eat some of the foods you've been eating for the past five years."

"You actually remember when I left for Australia?" Shinobu scoffed as he took a bite of eggs.

"Of course I remember. I may not have been the most observant person, I have my reasons, but I did remember my little brother being sent off to a boarding school." Miyagi didn't lower his paper.

At being called little brother and not brother-in-law Shinobu's heart skipped a beat. Was this man actually trying to be nice or was that the way he was all the time? Shinobu couldn't remember much about the man except that he didn't really care for him. Or was it something else, he didn't know.

Shinobu watched the old man while eating his breakfast silently. After the lack of noise became deafening he spoke up. "Are you not going to eat, old man?"

"I already ate this morning Shinobu-chin. I was waiting for you." This time Miyagi did lower the paper and Shinobu was able to see the concern in the man's eyes. It wasn't like the 'I'm concerned, but I can't deal with it' attitude his father and sister both showed. No, this was true concern and for a moment Shinobu felt bad about terrorizing the man for a month.

"Why do you even care?" He snapped, so much for feeling remorseful.

"It may not look like it to a spoiled little brat Shinobu, but I, as a man, have probably been through whatever you are going through too. I care because I am your big brother. Even though Risako and I are no longer married that doesn't mean that I can't care for my little brother."

The boy eyed the man with all the trepidation in the world. Who did he think he was spouting off such rubbish? There was no way this man knew what it was like to find someone he cared about locked in the embrace of another…

Wait!

Had Miyagi walked in on Risako having sex with her boyfriend? Maybe what the man said had some merit. For the first time in a while Shinobu actually felt as if there was just one other person in the world who might know how he felt.

"When my sister cheated on you, did you walk in on them in the act?" There was no filter on his mouth at the moment.

"What kind of question is that?" Miyagi raised his eye brows in curiosity.

"It's just a question I want to know the answer to. I wasn't happy when I found out Risako had cheated on you and it's been bothering me for quite some time." Shinobu spoke half the truth. He had been curious, but now that he had been through the exact same thing he wanted to know if Miyagi truly felt as he did.

"That's not really a proper question to be asking, Shinobu." Miyagi replied.

"I know that, but I need to know…did you see it?" He lowered his eyes slightly and didn't look at the man for fear of said man seeing right through his question.

Miyagi sighed and put his paper completely on the table. "If it's that important to you Shinobu, then I will answer. I don't want you to harbor any ill feelings against your sister though."

"It's too late not to be harboring feelings for her old man, just answer the question."

"Yes, Shinobu. I did walk in on Risako having adult relations with another man."

Deep down Shinobu had hoped Miyagi hadn't seen such acts taking place. Call it what you will, but after going through it himself he didn't want anyone to see what he had. Those feelings of remorse started to trickle into his bloodstream again.

"I'm sorry you had to see something like that, Miyagi. I don't think it would have been a pleasant experience."

He couldn't sit with the man anymore; he couldn't look at the man knowing that deep down both knew the same pain as one another. For Miyagi it was probably even worse because he had been married. Shinobu and Alan were just… What exactly were they to one another? It had been a spoken agreement to remain clean of others to avoid any STDs. Did that make them lovers, boyfriends, or were they just taking advantage of what was available.

Shinobu stood up and cleaned his plate at the sink. He could feel tears in his eyes that were threatening to spill over. If he wanted to save face he needed to leave the house for a time. That was the only way Miyagi wasn't going to see how much Shinobu hated the world at that moment. He hated his sister for doing that to Miyagi. He hated Miyagi for having been through the same thing he had. He hated Alan for breaking his promise. What's more, he hated himself for hating everyone.

/GG/

Shinobu had returned to the apartment sometime after nightfall. It was quiet and he suspected Miyagi had gone to bed. That was all the better because Shinobu didn't want to deal with the man. After he left Shinobu had thought about his demons and tried in vain to get rid of them. It didn't happen though and he didn't understand why.

Slowly he slid under the covers of his bed and let the blankets envelop him in a warm embrace. Lorelei had embraced him and it felt warm. Alan had too, but his embrace had been different. It occurred to Shinobu in that moment that while both embraces were nice he hadn't felt safe in either one. He felt safer being wrapped up on the blanket rather than being hugged by the people.

With this thought the boy fell into a fitful sleep. He could feel himself tossing and turning because his dreams were tossing and turning as well. Eventually he started calling out, though he didn't completely realize it at the time. That was when he felt the bed move slightly and arms pin him to the mattress.

"Shinobu!" Someone all but cried out as the youth flailed around in his sleep.

The boy woke up to who he thought was Alan trying to get him to speak with him. His brain was playing tricks on him. Fuck if he was going to allow Alan to weasel his way back into his life.

"No!" Shinobu shouted as he tried to wrench himself free. "I don't want to see you again after the shit you pulled."

"Shinobu, who did what to you?" The person asked in a desperate tone.

"Like you don't know you fucking jackass! How did you not think that wouldn't hurt me?" Tears started streaming down Shinobu's face as he continued to pull away.

"Shinobu, I don't know who you think I am, but I am not the one who hurt you." Hands grabbed Shinobu's face and held it tightly. "Open your eyes Shinobu and see who I am."

The boy shook his head. He wasn't about to look at Alan again unless he absolutely had to; he couldn't see that person or he would be reminded of him being sandwiched between two other people.

"Shinobu, look at me."

The voice was starting to change, become deeper and with feeling.

"I am not going to hurt you. Tell me what happened to make you so angry." Shinobu started to find the voice soothing.

"Talk to me or your anger will never go away."

At this Shinobu opened his eyes and saw that he was looking at Miyagi, not Alan. This wasn't a man who had ever hurt him in his life and who put up with Shinobu acting like the biggest asshole in the world. Miyagi was looking at him with concern in his eyes.

"Why!" Shinobu cried out. He couldn't continue speaking. Not right then, all he wanted to do was forget.

"It will be alright Shinobu-chin. I am not going to hurt you."

Shinobu felt himself being pulled toward the older man and embraced. He felt safe and warm in those arms, almost like they fit around his body perfectly. After what he had invested in his relationship, only to be thrown away like he was nothing, all Shinobu wanted was to feel like he could still be cared for…loved. For the first time in months Shinobu fell asleep and didn't have his reoccurring dream about Alan, or have the feeling that he wasn't worth anything.


	12. Misaki Monogatari 4

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 4

**(2010)**

Life can be full of many surprises. Some of them good, others not so good. How a person reacts will determine how the surprise will affect that person throughout his or her life. If the person reacts positively then that surprise can turn into the greatest of joys. If the person reacts negatively than that surprise can turn into the world's biggest regret.

One needs to be careful when reacting negatively to any sort of surprise. Oftentimes there is more than one person involved in said surprise and a negative reaction can have a snowball effect and spread that negativity. Once the negative thoughts are air born they spread like a virus, no one really knows who will become infected.

Misaki Takahashi had allowed himself to enjoy the rest of his second year and the first part of his third year at university. By coming to terms with some past issues he was able to open up to a whole slew of new experiences. He'd gone on a trip with his friends to visit China, he's started getting above average grades, and he'd also managed to get a part-time job that allowed him to have some pocket change. It wasn't much, but it was enough he was able to continue purchasing his favorite manga when it came out as well as eat out occasionally.

Life was going good for the college junior.

Then it hit him like a slap in the face.

"Misaki." Kimiko said, eyes lowered in shame. "We need to talk."

Misaki wasn't quite sure how to react to her presence. He knew that when someone started off a conversation like that it couldn't be good. Usually there was a break-up that followed shortly afterward. Misaki wasn't sure if he could constitute the two of them being together. Yes, they hung out. Yes, they had slept together on a few more occasions. Yes, the sex had been good after his talk with Nowaki. He wondered what this conversation was going to be about.

"I took a test at the university clinic, Misaki. I'm pregnant."

That answer was not what he expected. Misaki found himself unable to breathe as he looked at the girl in front of him. He could feel his heart beating in his chest with gusto.

"It is yours, if that's what you're thinking. You're the only one who I haven't used protection within the past three months."

Misaki wasn't sure if he was more surprised to hear that there had been others or that there had been a time when protection had gone to the wayside. He thought back and recalled that there had been a time, just two months ago, when things got a little heated and they'd had a quick fuck while at his brother's house while babysitting Mahiro. Not his finest hour, mind you, and now he was staring at the repercussions.

"Are you going to say something?" She asked.

"I don't know if I can right now." Misaki turned and walked away from the scene as quickly as possible, calling himself a coward the whole time.

And he just continued walking. He walked passed his brother's apartment where all of his stuff was, he walked passed his work. Misaki ended up on Kusama-san's doorstep, again, because for some reason the man was able to make sense out of any of Misaki's problems. So wrapped up in his little world he didn't even hear the argument going on behind the closed door.

/GG/

He knocked on the door with hesitation and waited for someone to answer. It was in the evening so someone should have been home. Misaki just needed some place to stay where Kimiko couldn't find him for the weekend. He didn't want his brother finding him either and since the Kusamas had yet to meet his brother he knew that he would be safe at their place for a short while.

"Misaki?" Shizuka was at the door looking a little ragged, but Misaki didn't really notice.

"Is Kusama-san home senpai?" Misaki asked quietly. He didn't quite know how to function at that moment.

"He is on his way home. I guess he was at the park for a breather and I was just on the phone with him, so he should be here soon. Is something wrong?" Shizuka was worried at the hollowness in Misaki's eyes.

"I don't know." Was all the young man could get out.

Misaki sat on the floor with Daito, playing a game of Jenga. He started to wonder what it would be like to have a child. The boy was five, which meant that in five years he would have a child around the same age. The thought made him shudder, but it had to have been real; Kimiko wouldn't lie about something like that.

He was barely aware when Nowaki returned and the only reason he became aware was when the giant's large hand rested on his shoulder. Misaki looked up at Nowaki with the face of a child in trouble and in truth that was how he felt. He wasn't married, didn't have a decent and high paying job, yet he was going to be a father. If that wasn't trouble then he didn't know what was.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The man looked at him with kindness and Misaki just nodded.

/GG/

Misaki found himself sitting on a park bench and he vaguely wondered if this was the same park Senpai had mentioned her husband had been at before returning home. It was a nice park, full of happy children and loving couples. He felt at peace in that park, even if just for a moment.

"Kimiko is pregnant." He stated without even waiting for his elder to speak first.

"No wonder you are looking a little lost today." Kusama said putting a hand on the youth's shoulder.

"I am at a loss with what to do regarding this issue Kusama-san. I guess I need to quit school and find a job."

Nowaki turned Misaki to face him, seriousness etched into his face. "Don't do anything so rash yet. I know how it is to try and raise a child while going to school and it isn't easy. If I recall correctly, Kimiko will graduate at the end of this year which means she can work full-time until you graduate. Don't just blow off college for yourself. It's not just your responsibility."

Misaki nodded slightly. "Isn't it the man's responsibility to take care of the mother of his child though?"

"That's an old fashioned way of thinking, Takahashi-kun. The way I see it this child is both of yours which means you both need to sacrifice. If she has to work a year until you can properly get a good job then that's the way it should be." There was logic in what the older man said and Misaki couldn't argue with the man.

"I guess I'm just a little surprised and at a loss for words. How did you react when you found out Senpai was pregnant?"

Nowaki grinned. "It was the happiest day of my life at that time. I have always loved kids, so to be a father has always been one of my dreams."

"I don't think being a father has really ever crossed my mind, but I can see how some people would be excited about such a thing."

Nowaki pulled Misaki into a tight embrace. "No matter what the problem is there is a solution. The thing to remember is to not allow yourself to fall into a trap that there is no hope. There is always hope, and you have us and your brother. No one is going to throw you out."

The advice and talk were enough to make Misaki feel more at ease. He sent a text to Kimiko and asked if he could see her first thing on Monday morning. He just wanted a little more time to sort through things. Nowaki invited him to stay over for the night, at least, so he could talk more if needed. Misaki agreed and went home with the older man.

/GG/

The following morning had come quickly and the house was in a little bit of upheaval. Shizuka had been required to attend a make-up seminar, so she was gone by the time Misaki woke up. At some point Myu had gotten sick and needed to stay in bed. There was hardly any food at the house and Nowaki didn't want to leave his daughter, so Misaki had volunteered to go do the shopping as a way to compensate for his freeloading.

That was how Misaki found himself at the grocery store down the street. His shopping cart was full and he realized he'd need to take a taxi back since there was no way he could carry everything on his own. Silently he cursed himself for not bring a cart of some sort to wheel the purchases home.

He was just getting ready to head to the checkout when he noticed someone he hadn't seen in years at the cigarette counter. Misaki couldn't be completely sure from his angle, but he was certain the person in question was Akihiko Usami. The thought of Nowaki telling him to apologize and explain how much he had been hurt popped into his head and this caused him to wheel his cart toward the man slowly.

When the man turned around Misaki was shocked. Gone was that healthy person he had been three years ago. Standing before him was a man who had lost a lot of weight. His cheeks were hollow and his eyes were fading. What had happened to The Great Lord Akihiko Usami?

"Misaki?" The man asked.

Misaki could hardly speak, so he just nodded.

"It's good to see you." Even with the ragged appearance of the man he still had a killer smile. "I hear you managed to get into M. University and you are doing well. Congratulations."

So many questions popped into Misaki's mind at that moment. How had the man knew about his acceptance into college? How had the man known he was doing well? What in the hell had happened to the man to cause such a drastic change in appearance? Why wasn't Misaki able to speak properly?

"Do you need some help Misaki?" Akihiko asked.

"Uhhh…maybe." Misaki stated as he woke from his daydreams.

"I know I'm not supposed to, but I can give you a ride to Takahiro's place. You would need to show me directions since I have no idea where he moved to."

Misaki shook his head. "I'm at a friend's house. You can take me there I guess."

What happened to apologizing for causing the man to lose his best friend? What happened to talking about how his hand job made him feel? Wait, they were in a supermarket, that was the reason these thoughts hadn't popped up.

Akihiko smiled again and Misaki felt a quake in his chest. That wasn't normal and it startled him, but when the man walked forward and started to push the cart for him he forgot about the feeling and just went with the flow. His problem on getting all of the groceries home had been solved.

The boy sat in the car as Usami drove. He gave occasional directions, but other than that the ride was silent. All he wanted to do was share his feelings in that moment, but for some reason he couldn't. It was like some force was keeping him from speaking unless necessary. The thoughts made him sad and he did what he could to keep from showing Usami how sad he really was.

Once the car stopped in front of Nowaki's apartment building Misaki got out. He was surprised when Akihiko got out too and handed him his bags of groceries.

"It was good to see you Misaki. If you ever want to talk I am still in the same place. You are more than welcome to drop by." With those words Misaki watched Usami drive off and he felt as if his heart had left with the man.

/GG/

The rest of the weekend went by quickly and soon Monday rolled around. Misaki found himself sitting at a table on campus waiting for Kimiko to show up. He was nervous, but that didn't stop him from running off again. He wasn't going to leave her in this predicament they had gotten themselves into. It was all for the baby now, neither adult really mattered.

The girl came about twenty minutes late and sat down across from Misaki. He took that time to speak his mind.

"I want to talk and I really want you to listen." He said, he'd been rehearsing this all weekend. She nodded for him to continue. "I am going to finish school since I have just over a year left. I will do what I can to help raise the baby since that baby is just as much mine as yours, but I am not going to drop out of school just to find a higher paying job than what I can take on right now.

"The baby needs to come first, which means you will also have to work and sacrifice. If you want to have boyfriends over or whatever that is fine, as long as the baby is with me. I don't want that kind of situation to happen in front of my child. I will do the same if I want to bring home a girl, but I don't see that happening any time in the near future. I do not plan on marrying you because I don't love you Kimiko, but I do care about our child, so we will need to work this out together."

He looked at her throughout the entire speech to gage her reaction. It didn't come as a surprise that she cried, especially when he said he wasn't going to marry her. To a Japanese girl it was extremely dishonorable to not marry the father of your child. As much as Misaki wanted to help her out, he wasn't going to risk his happiness just because the two of them had been careless.

"Okay." She finally said softly. "We will remain friends for the sake of the baby."

Misaki nodded. It was how it should be. He didn't think he would ever be able to marry if he didn't love the person and since she was in agreement, it made the situation seem less bleak than what it could have been.


	13. Nowaki Monogatari 5

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 5

**(2010)**

The heart is a mysterious organ, or the possibility of the heart is a mysterious organ. Yes, there is an organ that causes blood to pump throughout the body, but the idea that the heart is where love comes from is the mysterious part. In truth the heart doesn't create those ideas of love, but the brain does. We just call it the heart because it sounds cute.

Sometimes the heart knows something the brain does not. Or maybe the heart sees what the brain is telling us not to. This is because the brain is synonymous with logic while the heart is the opposite. When the heart fully takes over the brain may not even realize what is happening and thus can cause lots of trouble or even heartache. What the heart and the brain need to do is work together in order to accomplish something magical.

The park was dreary on that Friday. Nowaki was sitting on the bench just watching passersby. He'd found himself frequenting the bench more and more often, like it had some sort of special meaning he couldn't wrap his mind around. All he knew was that it was important. The man couldn't tell you how many times he'd visited that bench in the past few months, just hoping for a glimpse of the man.

It was at this time he received a heated call from his wife. He hoped his kids were not paying attention because he didn't want them to hear their parents fighting. Fighting usually meant make-up sex, but recently Nowaki's mind hadn't been in it.

"You need to come home, this is the fifth time this week you have shirked your responsibilities, Nowaki!" Shizuka said with a hiss.

"I know it may seem that way, but I have not been shirking in my responsibilities. I go to work and I make it home for dinner. I just haven't shown up right at five like I used to."

"Don't play that game with me Nowaki. You used to spend an hour before dinner with the kids and this entire week you have not. What's gotten into you?"

The argument was starting to get heated and Nowaki just remained calm like it was the most normal thing in the world for him to deal with a hot-headed individual.

"Nothing has gotten into me Shizuka. I still spend time with the kids. I work on homework. I tuck them in at night, nothing has changed."

It was true; the only thing was that Nowaki had started showing up at 5:30 rather than five. It was true that he had usually spent that half an hour with the kids though, so both had merit to their side of the argument.

"That's not the whole point. Why did this change all of a sudden occur? And it's not just this half hour a day you disappear to who knows where. Lately you haven't even kissed me let alone done other more adult things with me!"

This conversation had turned into something Nowaki didn't want to deal with on the phone. He knew the reason he wasn't really paying much attention lately, but he wasn't about to tell that to his wife. At least not until he had sorted out the confusing feelings in his head.

"Just come home Nowaki. Your kids are waiting for you. Someone is at the door, get home now."

He could tell she was angry and this made him leave his bench and head back to his home. When he got there he was met with a depressed Misaki who needed to talk, a pissed wife who also needed to talk, and two kids who were thrilled to see him. In his mind at least his kids were still the same as always.

Nowaki decided to take Misaki back to the park bench to speak with him. There he learned that the kid's girlfriend had gotten pregnant and Misaki was in denial mode. The social worker spoke to the youth and got his head headed in the right direction. He offered the boy a place to stay for the weekend and then the two went back home to where his second problem was waiting for her talk.

/GG/

Not wanting to bother Misaki with their home life problems, the two had taken their argument into the bedroom and had a heated, yet quiet discussion. During that time Myu had walked into the room and overheard, thus the next morning she was sick. Against his better judgment Nowaki agreed to let Misaki go grocery shopping for his family since the boy wanted to do something to help out.

Nowaki was able to spend that time alone with his kids and talk with them about what Myu had overheard the night prior. He didn't want them to ever think they were the reason for the argument. That was something that he'd seen Misaki do a lot, take the blame for something. Nowaki didn't want his kids to become like Misaki, no matter how much he liked the kid.

"I know you heard some stuff that scared you yesterday." He told the girl who was lying on the sofa with bloodshot eyes. Daito was seated on the floor a few feet away.

"Why were you talking like that? I may not be an adult but I understood those horrible things being said." The girl asked as a fresh batch of tears streamed down her face.

"Don't cry sissy." Daito said with a little rub of her hair.

Nowaki sighed and rubbed his temples. He didn't want to say anything that may cause either child to dislike their mom, but he also didn't want to tell them the whole truth either. Being a parent during a crisis like this was a lot harder than it was portrayed in stories.

"Sometimes adults say some things they don't necessarily mean Myu-chan. When adults get upset about something it sometimes comes out wrong or may sound horrible when in fact it's not. Your mom and I had an adult conversation that was to help us work out some issues. I am sorry you had to hear that, but all I can ask is that you remember that your mom and I love you both so very much and nothing that happens between the two of us is ever your fault."

Myu sat up on the sofa. "But she said that you didn't want to be with us anymore and that's why you come home late. What did Daito and I do to make you hate us?" She all but screamed at the top of her lungs causing her to cough.

Within moments she vomited down the front of herself and Nowaki had to spend thirty minutes cleaning up. He put himself plus the kids into a bath to clean off and have some bonding time with the kids. During that time he was able to convince that he didn't hate either of them and that what she had heard wasn't the whole truth. He promised to take them with him whenever he went to the park anymore and the kids agreed that going with him was an okay solution.

/GG/

That was how the days progressed for quite some time.

Monday –

Nowaki picked the kids up from school at 4 pm after he left work early. After picking them up he took them to the store to purchase a kite. Once situated at the park he allowed the children to fly the kite while he sat on the bench and watched.

Myu was holding the string of the kite, which was in the shape of a tree, and little Daito was running around on the ground as if to chase the thing as it flew. Nowaki just sat and watched, not really there fully. Whenever he sat on the bench he felt as if there was something missing, as if someone should be there with him. It wasn't his wife and he had a feeling that the man with reddish eyes would be the one who at least knew the answer.

The problem was that Nowaki was married. He had a wife and kids he needed to take care of, and while he didn't think it was necessarily a problem to try and figure out where the feelings of confusion came from he did understand where his kids were coming from with regards to his absences. He'd need to find a more permanent solution before the situation with his wife worsened.

Nowaki had continued watching his kids until it was time to head home. He took one last look at the bench before he and the kids'd wandered off. Still, his heart remained on that bench, waiting, wishing and hoping.

Tuesday –

Tuesday found Nowaki picking up his children from school and going into the convenience store to buy bubbles. The kids would need something to keep themselves entertained while Nowaki just sat. He'd understood by that time he was just waiting for this man to come. Nowaki didn't know what he would have done had said man actually shown up, but he couldn't bring himself to not be at the park for a certain amount of time every day.

The kids ran happily around with their bubbles and wands. Nowaki had smiled when he looked at the little girl with twin-tails spinning circles causing bubbles to escape from the wand. Then Daito would chase after them and try to catch as many as he could before they'd popped. If his mind hadn't been lost in thought it would have been a perfect father/children outing.

Wednesday –

Nowaki had picked his children up prepared with sidewalk chalk. It didn't take long for there to be masterpiece after masterpiece added to the sidewalk. Myu had taken Nowaki's phone and took pictures of each of the drawings to share with her mother per Nowaki's request.

He studied the drawings carefully as they seemed to show him something he thought he remembered in a dream. It was a serious case of déjà vu when he saw a picture of two people (one excessively tall and another with red eyes) sitting in a library with books everywhere. When Nowaki asked why his kids drew that picture they said it was because they felt like drawing something random. Nowaki had to admit that it was rather random, but why on earth had that picture seemed so real.

Thursday –

Thursday was rainy, but Nowaki still invited the kids to the park so they could feed the ducks in the pond near his bench. They stood near the edge of the lake throwing bread crumbs to the ducks and fish that swam under the water. Nowaki took a few pictures with his phone to appease his wife who was having a fit that the kids were out in the rain. While in the middle of the park he had a heated phone call telling her that kids didn't catch a cold because of getting wet. The cold was caught because of a virus. Shizuka had yelled at him and demanded to know where he got his information. He couldn't tell her where he got that information, only that it was correct.

On that particular day the kids didn't actually want to leave. They were having too much fun playing in the rain and feeding the ducks. A few passersby joined in on the fun since it is hard to not enjoy feeding birds with two children who are absolutely in love with the idea. Nowaki was worried he'd have to buy the kids a duck as a pet, not that Shizuka would have permitted such an idea.

In the end, after the tenth call, he packed the two children up and drove home. Shizuka didn't even speak to the man when they walked inside. So Nowaki carted the kids to the bathroom where the three had another child/father bonding type bath. The kids pretended to be ducks and Nowaki pretended to feel them bread.

Friday –

The sun was shining while at the park on Friday. The kids were playing with a kick-ball and running around. Neither knew that they weren't the reason for going to the park anymore. All they cared about was that daddy was with them while they got to play outside. Myu had mentioned in the car on the way to the park that her friends were jealous that she had a daddy who took her to the park all the time since their dads never did that. The comment did make Nowaki feel special, even if he was technically not telling the whole truth about going to the park.

Saturday –

This day had ended up a little different. Misaki had called around ten in the morning because he wanted to set up a time when Kimiko and he could discuss with Nowaki and hopefully Shizuka any advice on being parents. Also, since Nowaki was similar to a counselor he knew that the older man might have been able to offer some insight into how it felt to be a young father. Nowaki couldn't turn them down, so his time at the park had been cancelled. He made it a point to go the following week though.

All days –

This was how his next few months progressed. Each day Nowaki would take the kids to the park, rain or shine. The kids had a fun time playing with one another and didn't seem to care that their father sat on a park bench instead of joining them. Each day, though, the wedge between him and Shizuka spread them farther apart. Nowaki didn't even notice this wedge since he was too busy trying to sort out his mind.


	14. Shinobu Monogatari 5

There is some dialog from Terrorist book ten in this chapter.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 5

**(2011)**

Dreams can be a wonderful escape from reality. That's why daydreams exist, to take a person far away from where they may be at any given time. At night, dreams do the same thing, but can be so much more. Some people dream in little snippets, while others claim that dreaming is like watching a movie in the head. Either way, dreams tend to tell of hidden thoughts and sometimes even desires.

Some lucky people are able to control their dreams. Lucid dreaming can be either a blessing or a curse, especially if the person in control doesn't understand what he or she wants. In that case the person may want to figure out what those hidden messages are in a dream, just so they can understand what they are wanting while awake.

_He could feel the man slowly massaging him all over his body. Miyagi was caring for him; loving him. Then the older man started to make love with him and it hurt. _

_The boy cries out, "It hurts! Miyagi, it hurts!"_

With the comment still ringing in his ears, Shinobu sat up and rubbed his temple. That dream, that reoccurring dream that had been happening for weeks, was still plaguing his sleep. It was also starting to plague his wakefulness as well. Why in the hell was he dreaming about that old man? What did the dream mean? Why was it playing with his mind every night when all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep?

Shinobu could feel his heart beating a few hundred miles a minute. Each night the feelings got worse. On that particular night he'd felt as if his chest was going to explode, so he got out of bed and went in search of something to drink.

Begrudgingly he'd moved back in with his family since Miyagi deemed it healthy for him to start building bonds with his sister and father again. He really hadn't cared about mending broken bridges, but for some reason when the older man suggested it he couldn't turn him down. It was as if the man knew just what to say to get him to agree.

Slowly the boy made his way to the kitchen. Upon opening the refrigerator he saw the pumpkin squash and the cabbage heads he'd insisted the housekeeper purchase. Shinobu had no idea why in the sam hell he'd want either, but he did. Next to the vegetables stood a bottle of mineral water, the kind Miyagi liked to drink.

Just the thought of the man caused his heart to lurch again, and he grabbed the water and gulped it down without taking a breath. Shinobu ended up choking slightly and ran to the sink just as the water, plus a sticky substance managed to make its way up his throat and land in the sink like so much vomit. The college student gulped some air as more of the vile concoction came up and landed in the sink.

Shinobu could feel his face start to burn and his chest felt like it was going to rip open. He reached for the tap, but missed and tumbled to the ground. He was coherent enough to see the feet of his father rushing toward him, but he found he couldn't hear. Was this what it was like to die? Shinobu figured he was having a heart attack and was in the process of leaving the world and going elsewhere.

Time seemed to stand still and the only thought he had in his mind was someone needed to tell Miyagi. The older man could make it all better with just a word, a touch. Shinobu couldn't speak though, so his thoughts were only for his ears.

/GG/

Disorientation was the least of his worries when his eyes opened again. The process of forming coherent thoughts ate at his brain as well as the blurry vision his eyes saw. Sound was overpowering and Shinobu wanted to cover his ears, but every appendage he could feel felt like it was tied down with lead weights. Covering his eyes would have also been a good idea because the blurriness was causing him to feel rather dizzy. The boy didn't even feel his upchucking of more fluids while lying on his back and he only knew anything was going on when someone forced him to roll onto his side so he didn't choke on his own puke.

Shinobu could hear himself moan and feel the vibrations in his neck. His heart still seemed to be racing at a few hundred miles a minute. What in the fuck had caused this sort of reaction was the first actual thought that was processed. Then, slowly, he started to gain more control over his body. That was when the pain hit and his body felt like it had been dropped from a twenty story building.

He wanted to call out in distress, but that wasn't an option at the moment, so he let himself lie in shame as he tried to navigate his internal workings again. Shinobu spent some time feeling every part of his body for pain and movement. He started with his fingers and moved his way downward to his toes. As he wiggled them more thoughts popped into his head.

"Miyagi." He croaked, though he could hardly hear himself speak.

With his one word spoken his auditory sensors were immediately bombarded with so much white noise. He gathered there were people in the room talking about him and that was the noise. He tried to single in on one particular voice and hoped that the option would help him regain more control over that particular sense.

It worked and soon he was making out clear speech rather than so much background noise.

"I don't know why he called for Yoh." His father had stated.

"Then why don't you call him? Shinobu seems to have formed a bond with the man while he stayed at his place. Maybe Miyagi can help heal him." That was his mother speaking.

"The good news is that your son didn't have a heart attack, but he had a severe panic attack. Is there anything in his life that could have caused this?" That voice was unrecognized, but based on the tone it was probably a doctor.

Shinobu was able to tell he was in a hospital and he could feel the IV in his arm. He recalled thinking he was dying of a heart attack and actually wished he had so the pain would have gone away. At least he understood what he had experienced and he was quite positive he never wanted to feel something like that again, thank you very much.

He decided to ignore the ramblings of the others in the room while he worked more on retaining some semblance of thought. He'd been dreaming, quite erotically at that, of Miyagi. This had caused his attack. Just the thought of the guy caused his heart to dance the Samba in his chest. He could hear his heart rate increase on the monitor next to his head, so he knew the reason for his predicament. The reason the man was causing him to have such thoughts was still out of his reach though.

The doctor speaking did bring him back to his hospital room.

"I recommend you try and keep him stress-free, as much as possible. I am going to prescribe some propranolol for the lowering of his heart rate. With time it may clear up on his own as there was no physical damage to his heart. I also recommend you contact this Miyagi person he keeps mumbling about, maybe he can shed some light on the subject."

Shinobu hadn't even realized he was still calling the older man's name. He could feel his heart rate speed up again and could feel the rush of blood to his cheeks. If Miyagi spilled what they had discussed then his parents would know something he didn't want them to know.

"I have to ask you a question, seriously." The doctor continued. "Is it possible your son was raped by this man he keeps mumbling?"

What!

Shinobu wanted to yell that the doctor was an idiot to even suggest such a thing. Surely his father would never believe such a thing.

"Is there a way to check?"

Okay, so maybe his father wasn't the man he thought he was.

"There is a way to check his rectum for signs of stretching, though it's not a fool-proof method. If no actual penetration occurred then we can't be sure. If he was forced there might be scarring." The doctor was all business.

No! Shinobu's mind shouted out. He was an adult and giving him such an invasive procedure was against his wishes. Did no one understand that?

"We may want to get that checked then." His father replied after a short silence.

Shinobu wasn't going to take that idea lying down. He mustered up all of his strength and shouted, "No!" He then focused his eyes on his father and all but begged him not to violate him. Yes, his ass was going to be stretched, but it wasn't by Miyagi forcing him or anything, it was because he had been in a consensual relationship with another man. After all the shit his sister had put Miyagi through, he didn't want something else to be added to the mix.

The boy on the hospital bed could see the doctor in his face. He could feel the man's breath on his nose and it made him uncomfortable.

"Shinobu, can you understand me?"

Shinobu tried to move and only managed a slight nod.

"Okay, we will hold off on any procedures for now until you can voice your own opinion regarding the matter." The doctor stated. "I want everyone out of the room while the orderly cleans up in here. You can return in a few hours."

Thank god the doctor had a little more common sense than his father. Shinobu said a silent thank you and let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. His father would get a swift kick in the ass once he was able to move.

That was when he realized that the pain was gone and he could move. Not only that, but he was able to speak. Perhaps his inability to move had to do with his family being in the room. Then again, that wasn't very likely. Still, it was an interesting thought.

Shinobu let the orderly pick him up from the bed and put him on a wheelchair to head out for a bath. There was bile down the front of Shinobu's hospital outfit and he could taste the stuff in his mouth. What he wouldn't give for a toothbrush.

The bath itself was uneventful. He chatted sporadically with the orderly, asking basic questions about where he was, how long he'd been there, that sort of thing. He'd only been there for two hours, but during that time it was discovered that he was having heart palpitations. The orderly told him that he'd have the doctor speak with him after his bath was over.

During that time the nagging thought at the back of his head was Miyagi. The man seemed to have come in from behind and put a choke hold around the boy. Shinobu was confused, a little scared, and some other feeling he'd not felt before. In that moment he wished to be in that man's arms again since it was a place he felt safe.

/GG/

"Do you have any idea why you may have had this panic attack?" The doctor asked.

Shinobu nodded. "I don't really want to talk about it though."

The doctor nodded in understanding.

"Did that man rape you?"

"No, Miyagi would never do that. But I have had relations with another man and I am stretched out in that area. I didn't want my father to think that it was Miyagi. He is my brother-in-law after all."

The conversation continued and Shinobu was advised to keep from doing anything too stressful. He would need to remain on the medication for the time being, but once he had a handle on what was causing his panic attacks then he could get off the meds once his heart rate returned to normal. All Shinobu needed to do was figure out why he was having these feelings.

This is what he knew:

Miyagi had some sort of hold over him that was unexplainable.

Miyagi cared when he shouldn't have.

Miyagi was making love with him in his dreams.

Miyagi was the only thing on his mind.

The youth didn't know why, so he just left it at that. The doctor gave him a sedative to help him sleep and Shinobu felt himself falling into slumber. Perhaps he'd have another dream that could explain some things.

"_You could move in with me." Miyagi stated from his position in the bed. From where he stood by the window Shinobu could tell the man was sick. At those words Shinobu also burst into tears and ran toward the bed, jumped on his lover, and cried into his chest. _

"_Hold on Shinobu, you'll get sick too." Miyagi said. _

"_I don't care."_

_Shinobu could feel the older man rub his hand through his hair. It felt so right and natural. Lying with the man and feeling the man touch him. _

"_I know it's a little late to be asking this, but what do you like? What are your interests?" _

_Shinobu knew what Miyagi was asking, so he answered quietly. "Miyagi."_

"_Huh?" The older one asked back. _

"_My interest is Miyagi." Shinobu clutched the man under the covers tightly. _

"_How do you always say such cute things to me Shinobu-chin?"_

"_I don't say cute things you perverted old man, I just say what's on my mind."_

_The younger looked up at his lovers face and his lips were immediately claimed in a passionate kiss. He moaned softly into the kiss and twined his fingers with Miyagi's. The feel of holding hands during love making was all the more intimate and that was what Shinobu wanted, intimacy. _

_He hardly noticed the pain anymore because pain was eradicated when the one who you loved was proving his love by becoming one with him. That was what their love making was about, becoming one with one another. One heart, one mind, one body; holding on tight to one another as an animalistic frenzy took hold. _

Shinobu woke up with a start and sat up. He reached down and pulled the hospital blanket away and looked down. He didn't look forward to explaining the reason the staff would need to make the bed again and get him another outfit. His own seed lie splattered on the sheets, his gown, and the blanket. He vaguely wondered how many people had a wet dream while in the hospital.


	15. Nowaki Monogatari 6

I want to thank everyone who has been reading this work of fiction. I know it is quite the leap from what people usually wish to see in the yaoi fandom and I have rather undercut what the premise of the original story is about. I do tend to chat on PM and answer reviews unless the system doesn't let me.

Thank you to Risque Tendencies, Ego and Psyche, Cerberus Revised/Don't Preach, and WigglyWorm for the reviews on the prior chapters!

WigglyWorm – I am glad someone finds Shizuka sympathetic. Of all the other female characters I wrote, she is the one I think is the most sympathetic of the bunch. I agree, it is hard on any woman (or man in some cases) when the partner is in conflict with oneself and 'neglecting' the family.

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 6

**(2011)**

It's a well known fact, at least for those who have experienced it, that a person can fall in love and fall out of love just as easily. Most people have also heard the term; nothing lasts forever. If that term is true then love doesn't last forever, though people are professing it to others all the time. I will always love you or I will never love another person. How can a person know the future when we haven't been given the gift of foresight?

What a person should say is that I will love you for as long as I can. But that doesn't sound nearly as romantic. No one is going to buy a card that says I will love you for as long as I can. Especially when the one on the shelf next to it says I will love you forever. It's a nice thought, but just like a card, nothing really lasts forever.

Nowaki had started to run out of ideas to keep the kids entertained at the park, but that problem had been alleviated when both kids said they only wanted to go every now and then. Spending time at the park had been fun, but they wanted to see their friends. So the daily trips had become weekly instead. Nowaki still went daily, but that was because he was still searching.

After a particularly rough day at work the man found himself sitting on the bench in silent contemplation. He'd had to go to the hospital to work with a teen mother who had been impregnated by her father. The girl had been so abused half of her face was burned off. The baby was born early due to complications from the mother being set on fire. It was horrible, but while at the hospital Nowaki instinctively knew how to care for the infant when it was born. Without so much as asking he had broke into the room and saved the baby's life. The hospital staff was grateful, but he was told never to do such a thing again.

What confused him more was the fact that he knew what to do. This was a man who had no medical training; no way of even knowing how to take care of the child. Yet, somehow he had been able to save the child's life. On any other day the man might have thought that god had some play in the day's events, but as it were he didn't believe that to be the case. In retrospect it felt as if he were living the life of another man; he wasn't the one who was to be married to this lady and be father to her kids. It was almost as if he were falling out of love with them…all of them. And this idea saddened the man to no end.

The feel of his home was starting to become foreign to him. He no longer felt comfortable in the house with the family he'd been together with for years. His kids had taken on a different look and feel. Who did they belong to, it couldn't have been him. That thought played in his mind no matter how often he looked at little Myu, who was the spitting image of her papa.

Nowaki walked inside and muttered the customary greeting. His kids came to the door, all smiles, and he gave them quick hugs before sending them off to plan. He nodded to his wife and then went to change into a more comfortable outfit. Eventually he went and joined his family to help with homework, eat dinner, and then go to bed.

The man wasn't able to sleep though because Shizuka had come in after finishing her homework and turned on the light. He sat up and looked at her curiously from the futon. Immediately Nowaki knew there was a much bigger issue about to be unleashed.

"What exactly did you do at the park all that time when the kids were with you?" She asked with a hint of scolding in her voice.

"I watched them play." He replied with a yawn.

"But you never once played with them?" She asked.

"No, I just watched. They were fine without me." He answered quietly.

"Nowaki, I don't know what is going on with you. I know this was a marriage of convenience, but I thought you had grown to love me. Now I'm not so sure." He could see the tears swimming in her eyes.

"Shizuka, I do love you. I just don't…" He didn't get to finish before she put her hand up to stop him.

"Are you having an affair?" She demanded, point blank.

"No." He said with incredulity. "Why would you think I was having an affair?"

"Because our kids, whom you took to the park, said you just sat on a bench and watched as if waiting for someone to show up. No one ever did, but who would show up if you had our kids around?"

Nowaki got angry at that comment. "If I was having an affair do you honestly think I would involve the kids Shizuka. Be reasonable."

The woman started crying. "I am being reasonable. You haven't touched me in months. I don't even remember what it feels like to make love with you anymore. Of course I am going to think you are having an affair; that you are getting your attentions somewhere else."

The man knew he should have stood up and went to comfort his wife, but he couldn't bring himself to do such an act. No, he hadn't been having an affair, but his mind had been on someone who wasn't her. To Nowaki he couldn't decide which was worse; silently wishing and becoming distant or physically getting that attention somewhere else. His lack of comfort seemed to be enough to prove to her that she was right and he was lying.

"Nowaki, I want a divorce." She stated simply. "I am going to my parent's house for the night. I want you gone by the time I wake up in the morning."

He watched her leave out the door and he didn't once get up. For some reason he knew it would do no good to follow and that it would be alright if he didn't. Maybe she just needed to cool down.

/GG/

At six in the morning on the following day Nowaki had been roused from sleep by the door buzzer. Not wanting the noise to wake the kids he quickly got up and ran toward the entryway. He flung the door open and was surprised, or maybe not so much, to see his father-in-law standing there with a grim face.

"Can I come in?" The older gentleman asked.

"Sure, but please don't use a voice that will wake the kids." Nowaki stepped aside and let the man inside. He watched as his senior walked to the sofa and sat down, indicating a spot next to him for Nowaki to sit. The younger man followed.

"Nowaki, I don't believe for a moment that you are cheating since it doesn't seem like something you would do. Can you explain what is going on with you and my daughter?"

This was another conversation he didn't really want to have, but being the man he was he knew he had to own up to it. At that he started the long tale of how he felt and why he believed he felt the way he did. The truth was blunt, but the man sitting with him didn't say anything and let him continue on with the story.

"That is quite the tale Nowaki-kun. I am not sure if I believe you completely, but it would make sense the way you described it. I must say I am surprised you find yourself drawn to another man when you have my Shizuka."

"No more surprised than I am, sir." Nowaki admitted.

"I spoke with Shizuka and she told me that if you agreed to stop going to the 'park' she would reconsider the divorce. She loves you son, and we love having you in this family. A better son-in-law I couldn't ask for. Based on what you said you didn't sleep with someone else, so you didn't break any vows. Would you consider this, for the kids, at least?"

The thought of not seeing the other man ever again made Nowaki want to cry, but he kept his poker face in check. His father-in-law was right. It was probably just a passing fancy and if he just went about his business it would all go away and he could get back to being the happy husband and father he was normally. So, Nowaki agreed to the terms. Later that day Shizuka came back and the kids went with their grandparents for the night. Nowaki and Shizuka made love for the first time in months and the man did admit, it made him feel better.

/GG/

Five Months Later

Nowaki stared at the job he'd just been fired from. After working as a social worker for years the company let him go. Not because of the recession, but because of his lack of desire to keep afloat. He just couldn't do it anymore.

Getting fired got him yelled at and kicked out of his home. He would always remember the tears in his eyes as well as the tears in his kid's eyes as he looked at them for the last time, arms out and calling for him. Without a glance back he walked away and back toward his parent's house since it was the only place, aside from that bench, that seemed right anymore. The man had given it his all, but even the mighty will fall if pushed too far.

He sat with his father and watched the children at the orphanage play. Nowaki recalled growing up at this center and how returning had seemed like he was actually on the right path to finally making it home. No matter what he did, his feeling of completion still wasn't there.

"Do you want to spill, or do we need to wait until hell freezes over before you tell me your feelings?" The elder Kusama asked.

"I feel lost." It was now or never. His family knew why he had left and that he couldn't go back. Now they were about to find out why. "I met a man a while back, over a year ago, in fact, and it was just for a few moments, but I feel as if that man and I are one." He looked at his father. "Does that make any sense at all?"

The older man laughed. "I never pegged you for the type to fall in love at first sight, but I guess I was wrong. I am sorry Nowaki, I never should have put together that omiai. If I hadn't then maybe you could have met this other man first and been happy. Your mother and I knew years ago that you weren't actually happy, just pretending to be that way."

Nowaki looked at his father with surprise. He'd never realized his father had felt that way. How had his family known when he didn't even know? It was hardly fair that he was left blind when it was him the problems were swirling around. Then again, it was likely that he was too close to the equation to see the answer.

"What do you think I should do then?" Nowaki asked quietly. "I've already lost my wife and my kids, both metaphorically and realistically. To me they aren't even in existence anymore, nor are my in-laws. All that exists to me are the orphanage and that man I saw sitting on the bench."

"Nowaki, I suggest you follow your heart. Sometimes the heart can help us see things that cannot be seen otherwise. I am not saying that the heart is always right, but in your case I've never known you to be living with your head in the clouds. If you say this is important then I believe you, one hundred percent."

He couldn't have been happier hearing these words from his father. It was all he needed to do to start going to the bench every day. Nowaki didn't know how long he would have to go, but he knew that if he waited patiently his efforts would be rewarded and he would see the man who had become the hero of his heart again soon.


	16. Misaki Monogatari 5

**Author's note – I have edited this story to fit with the M rating. I have an account on adult fan fiction dot net under the pen name AZ for the whole story. I will also be setting up a Tumblr account with my whole pen name from this site. **

**/GG/**

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 5

**(2011)**

**WARNING – The following contains non-sexual adult situations. **

Sometimes our subconscious takes us places we never would have thought to go. We may end up in another part of the world, or even end up at the doorstep of our sworn enemy. If someone ends up somewhere then many will tell that individual they were supposed to be there because that was the way the story was to pan out. No matter what we had wanted, there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome. This just plays into the whole religious aspect, unless of course the person really wanted to go and finally allowed him or herself the opportunity to see the light.

What the person needs to realize is that when they get there, he or she may not have a clue what to do. The subconscious is a strange and powerful enigma that still causes people to pause. But sometimes all that is needed is a pause to see which fork in the road to take.

Misaki Takahashi, soon to be a father in less than two months, stood in front of the door to The Great Lord Usami's condo. After talking it over with himself on more than one occasion he'd finally decided to go and give the rabbit some of his time. At night he'd still dream about the man and realize that he needed to make amends. He didn't want his child to grow up and have a father who was as much a coward as he felt on multiple occasions.

It wasn't difficult to convince his brother that he needed a break from his jobs for an afternoon, thus the boy was able to slip out without much of a hitch. Kimiko was still working her part-time job as a receptionist in the same company his brother worked for. A number of strings had been pulled to get her that job since they needed it to help raise the baby.

Misaki rarely saw the girl anymore since his final term at university started. He went to school full time and worked two part time jobs. Neither of his part time jobs earned the amount of money Kimiko did with her part time job, so for the first two months after the baby was born, money was going to be tight. She had moved in with her parents again and he still lived with his brother's family. The split for taking care of the baby was going to be on a weekly basis. Misaki would take the baby for one week, the following week Kimiko would take the baby. The child would spend the days at either her parent's house with her mother or with Misaki's sister-in-law, who had agreed to not charge them fees because of Misaki always taking care of the apartment when he was around.

No, it wasn't the best solution. Both families tried to persuade the two to get married, but Misaki was adamant about not marrying the girl. Kimiko would have relented, and did end up crying on multiple occasions. The college student wouldn't be swayed. He still kept the conversation with Kusama-san in his head as a reminder of what he needed to do, and while he would happily raise his child, he wouldn't be happy if he were married to the child's mother.

After a particularly nasty conversation with his brother, Misaki'd decided it was time to visit Usami. Maybe it was to get back at his brother, but in his mind he was doing it to make himself look more a man. He wanted to be able to tell the baby he could stand up for what he believed in, even if it was a few years too late.

Subconsciously he pushed the key-code to get into the elevator; it still worked. Then he pushed the key-code for the door; it also worked. Misaki couldn't begin to explain how he remembered the code from four years ago, but he let himself in and it felt as if he were coming home.

/GG/

Normally when someone came down the stairs to see someone else inside of their home it could cause the home owner's heart to jump. Misaki watched the face of Akihiko Usami and was surprised to see the man smile as he walked, slowly, down the stairs. His meeting with the man those months ago still fresh in his mind he couldn't believe how the man looked at the current moment.

"Usagi-san! Are you okay?" He rushed over to help the older man finish climbing down the stairs and sit in a chair.

He looked at the older man and didn't even try to cover his fright. Usami had sores on his face and arms. There were bandages covering parts of his body, but not all of the sores on his face were covered. They weren't bleeding or anything, but they looked painful.

"Can I get you anything Usagi-san?"

Tears were streaming down his face as he wondered what had happened to the vibrant and open man he once knew. Gone was the sparkle that used to be in Usami's eyes. Instead his eyes were hollowed out and he looked on the verge of death.

"No, Misaki. I am fine. I am surprised to see you, but I must say I am glad you came to see me." The smile on the man's face was genuine and it make Misaki's heart race.

"I had to see you to apologize. It was my fault nii-san kicked you to the curb, and I can't forgive myself for what I did to you and him. You missed getting to see nii-san get married and you missed the birth of my nephew. All because I was a baby and tattled."

Misaki didn't know the reason he was crying at that moment. It could have been because of the way Usagi looked, or it could have been because he was depressed at how Usagi had been tossed away like a used tissue. He didn't expect what Usagi-san did next to happen though.

Within moments the elder's lips were on his and the shock was enough to make Misaki stop crying. He pulled back and brought his fingers to his mouth where Usami's lips had just touched. That kiss wasn't like any of the kissed he'd share with Kimiko, this one caused his heart to beat so hard all other sound was wiped out.

"Usagi-san?"

"See, I made you stop crying." There was a slight smirk on the elder's face.

"But…" Misaki had started trying to speak again.

"Don't speak about it anymore, Misaki. I don't blame you for what happened between Takahiro and myself. If anyone is at fault it was me for taking advantage of you. I am sorry for causing you trouble."

Misaki didn't quite know how to respond to this and he lowered his head, willing the tears in his eyes to not come forth. It was his fault and he had spent four years blaming himself; now Usagi was apologizing too and it just wasn't right. The man shouldn't have been apologizing.

"I am glad your brother found happiness though. I loved him more than I did myself, so to hear that he's happy makes me happy."

Again, Misaki was at a loss for words. He just looked at the man; that was all he could do.

"Will you tell me about your sister-in-law and your nephew?"

"Huh?" Misaki shook his head and nodded. "Sure!"

He spent an hour regaling tales of his family to the man. Whenever Usagi smiled it made his insides leap with happiness, even with the sores on his face and neck he still had a nice smile. The two had spent countless seconds laughing over multiple stories of the baby and how he had been growing. Then they started talking about Misaki's child. Usami was slightly surprised but none the less supportive of Misaki's new responsibilities.

Misaki told of how he was nervous and that once the baby was born he would bring the child to see Akihiko. He noticed how the older man smiled sadly when he mentioned that offer, but passed it off as a trick of the eyes. It was so short a time it was almost like it never happened.

"What did you mean when you said you loved my brother, Usagi-san?" Misaki asked.

"I mean that I was in love with your brother, I probably still am. I would have given anything to have him love me back the way I loved him." The older man said as he leaned back into the chair for support.

"You mean you loved him like he loves his wife?" Misaki was a little surprised at this, but only a little. On some level it was like he already knew that fact.

"I did. For ten years before I even met you I was in love with him. He was the exact opposite of me and you know how they say opposites attract."

Misaki had heard the phrase on more than one occasion. In his heart he actually felt bad for the man and his unrequited love. No one deserved to live that long with love not being returned. He looked at the man with sad eyes again and probably would have started crying had Usagi not suddenly heaved over and vomited all over the floor next to the chair.

This caused a number of actions and thoughts. 1. Misaki jumped up. 2. Misaki tried to get something to clean up the mess with. 3. Usagi tried to stand up, but couldn't get to his feet. 4. Misaki's heart all but stopped when he realized how sick the man really was.

He watched as Usagi pressed a button on a necklace he didn't even know the man was wearing. A woman wearing a hospice uniform entered and cleaned up the mess. Less than ten minutes later she was gone, Usagi was cleaned, and had been positioned on his back on the sofa with Misaki sitting at next to him on the floor.

"Usagi-san, why are you sick like this?" Misaki asked quietly, not sure it was appropriate.

"I guess I can tell you, if you promise to keep it a secret from your brother. I had to threaten Kamijou Hiroki with the loss of his job to keep this a secret from your brother. I want him to remain happy for the rest of his life. This outcome wouldn't make him happy, even if he did tell me to stay away."

Scared wasn't even a close enough metaphor for how Misaki felt after being asked to keep this a secret. He did know that his nii-chan might not take too kindly to his showing up at his ex-best friend's doorstep, but if Takahiro was made aware of Akihiko being sick, then maybe the man could help him heal. Not knowing how to answer, he just nodded his head.

Akihiko rubbed his hand over Misaki's head and brushed his fingers through the boy's hair. "Thank you." He said quietly. "I guess I should start from the moment I knew your phones had changed. It was around that time that I found out your brother was getting married from Hiroki."

Misaki lowered his head. "I had to beg Professor Kamijou not to tell you anything about me. I guess he didn't completely listen, but I am okay with that."

"I'm glad he kept me apprised of your accomplishments. It makes me happy you are doing so well." Usami stated proudly. "Hiroki did let me know the day your brother got married. I was a wreck that day. I had spent the better part of a month not doing anything prior except sleep and eat. My editor came into my room eventually and literally kicked my ass to get my work done."

Misaki vaguely recalled hearing that Usami was a procrastinator, so he wasn't too surprised to hear this information.

"On the day of your brother's wedding I left my home here and meandered down toward a dive I had spent time in when I was researching material for a book. I just wanted to go somewhere no one knew me and drink away my sorrows. The problem was that the drink didn't make me forget and I am completely aware of everything that happened to me."

Misaki continued listening, not liking where the story was headed.

"I met a woman there and we started talking. I was so depressed I wanted to know what a woman could offer Takahiro that I couldn't. So she and I went to a love motel and I had sex with her all night. It's amazing what alcohol can do to a gay body."

This caused the boy to want to cry, but he pushed it back as much as he could while the older man continued.

"I found out I had contracted HIV from her about a year later. She was the only person I had had intercourse with within that timeframe."

Not even worrying about showing his manly side anymore, Misaki cried like he'd never cried before. Tears streamed down his face and landed on his lap as he grabbed hold of Akihiko's hand with his own.

"But people can live for years with HIV Usagi-san." He said. "I read it in a magazine at a friend's house a while back."

"You are right little Misaki, people can. But I was unlucky enough, right before I ran into you a few months back, to have caught Toxoplasmosis. I didn't realize it until it was too late. I am going to die…" He veered off course and stopped speaking for a moment as he saw Misaki start to convulse.

"But…but…but…you are so strong Usagi-san. You don't have to die. You can fight it!" Misaki shouted through the tears.

"I am too tired to fight it anymore, Misaki. I just want to rest."

Misaki shook his head like a child who didn't want to go to bed. "No, no, no, no, no, Usagi-san. You have to fight it!" He said through gritted teeth. "I know you are strong. Please…please…Usagi-san. Fight it." He started begging as the words became choked in his throat.

Misaki saw a tear start to slide down Usami's face.

"Oh Misaki." The man said quietly. "If only I'd had someone like you to fight with me then maybe I could have fought harder. But I did this to myself, so the only one to blame is me. Now I am just waiting for the pain to stop."

"There's pain?" Misaki asked with a hiccup.

"It's mild right now, but yes."

"Oh, Usagi-san!" Misaki didn't know how to act anymore. Here was the once proud writer reduced to a dying mess of infected cells. "I will do anything if you start to fight for your life. Please don't let yourself die."

The tears in his eyes started to coat the author's shirt as he leaned forward and kissed the older man. Thoughts of Usami not being there to see his child, or to become friends with his brother again bombarded his head like a gun, and it hurt all over his body to think. What could he do to make the man want to start fighting for his life?

"If I give myself to you, will you start to fight again?" He finally asked after a few minutes of silence. "I will take my brother's place in your heart and I will love you back. We can spend hours making love and I can cook good food to bring you back up to health. My child can call you daddy too."

Usami sat up and pulled the boy to a position on the sofa next to him. "Misaki, listen to me." He held the crying boy's face in his hands and kissed the youth's nose. "I would love nothing more than to make love with you right now, but I am too far infected to practice safe sex with you. These lesions on my body may not be able to hurt you from what you can see on my face, but it would be like playing Russian Roulette with you. I am not willing to risk killing you too."

"But you have to Usagi-san. I don't want you to die unhappy! I don't want you to die period! Fight for your life so I can be a part of it."

For the life of him Misaki couldn't grasp the reason the older man just wanted to give up and die. It wasn't fair. All he had done was jack him off and now because of some stupid mistake in the past he was going to die. Why was the world so cruel? If Misaki had just kept his mouth shut…if… It was his fault Usami was dying.

Misaki fell forward and felt Usagi wrap him into a hug. The boy let out all his pain and anguish. First it was his parents. Then he'd caused his brother to lose his best friend. Now his brother's ex-best friend was going to lose his life too. On top of all that his brother would never know of the love Usagi-san had for him, and would probably never know that the man had died. How could he not tell his brother when his brother could make the man's last days happy if they just made up?

"I know what you're thinking little Misaki." He could hear the soothing whisper in his ear as he continued crying. "You promised me you wouldn't say anything and I am holding you to that promise."

"But Usagi-san. If nii-san came to see you then you could be happy. I want to make you happy." He whispered fiercely.

"You are making me happy by being near me Misaki. I have never been happier in my life then I am right now, with you crying for me. No one has ever cried for me. To think if I had bided my time and not been stupid, I could have ended up with you instead of death. When you leave here today I can die happily."

Misaki sat up and stared the older man in the face, hard. "I am not going to let you die alone, Usagi-san. I will come and see you whenever I have free time, which isn't much. I have to work a lot in order to save money for the baby."

Usami thought for a moment. "I could pay you to be my courier, if that would help you out. Whatever your jobs are paying you, I can add that together and double it. I owe you that much for what trouble I have caused you."

The college student thought for a moment. On any other day, in any other occasion he would have said no and stormed out. Looking at the pitiful face in front of his he couldn't say no. Not when he knew that he was helping make this man's last few weeks happy.

"I would need you to take my manuscripts to the publishing company and bring back what they ask."

Misaki nodded with tears still streaming down his face. He couldn't think much in that moment, so he did what he felt was right. The boy leaned in and kissed the older man on the lips, hoping that the kiss wouldn't be the elder's last.

/GG/

Author's Note – People can live for years with HIV and AIDS. Toxoplasmosis is usually an infection in cats and that is the main way a person can become infected. It is said that 30% of people in the world have been infected with Toxoplasmosis within their lifetime. Kissing does not spread HIV or AIDS, but when there are sores on a person's face the risk becomes greater.


	17. Marukawa Publishing Monogatari 1

This is a cameo chapter that involves the cast of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. I wanted something to break up the monotony of the first chapters. No one in the Sekaiichi Hatsukoi family will be 'experiencing' different people, so they are canon. The idea for this and two of the next chapters comes from the creation of the song, "Master of the House" from Les Miserable. The writers of the musical wrote this song to break up some of the harsh reality of the rest of the play. I brought these canon characters in to help people with the digestion of what I have done to our precious JR canon characters.

The phone sex idea in this chapter is written as a shout out to the lovely Risque Tendencies and her wonderful story "Through the Phone". Everyone should read it.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Marukawa Publishing Monogatari 1

**(2011)**

A new perspective in any given situation can make the situation all that much better; not to mention clearer. Another person taking the time to learn about a situation that has negative reactions can turn those reactions into something positive. It doesn't matter if the person on the outside looking in is part of the whole story, or just making a cameo appearance. His or her opinion can make a difference.

Now said difference won't matter one iota if the main character in the story doesn't use the information to his or her advantage. It's like taking free advice and throwing it into the wind and letting if fly away without a second glance. Now that is something that can make any situation end with a negative outcome.

It wasn't hell week, but it sure fucking felt like it. Kisa Shota was ready to call it quits, jump from the top of the building, and let himself go splat on the sidewalk. Yukina could come by and sweep him up and bury him in some hole outside of the city. All the man wanted to do was go home, fall into bed, and have a night of beautiful wet dreams. Of course the last time he'd had a wet dream and became erect his overly sexual boyfriend had seen the mass and started giving him head while he slept. By the time he was coherent enough to realize what was happening, he'd come thrice and his boyfriend had the goofiest grin on his face.

Kisa slapped his face, hard, to bring him out of the daze lest he end up with a hard-on. Work was not a place he wanted one of those. Not after what happened last time, that is. He'd found out, first hand, that phone sex was not the best way to take care of business, while at work. And even after that 'incident' Kisa still had to ask Yukina to bring in his missing work and some food. It was a good thing the kid was so enamored or he might have started thinking his older lover was abusing the relationship.

"Kisa!"

The man looked at his younger boss. He would never admit that having someone three years younger than him as his boss made him feel slightly humiliated. Still, the man was a genius, so he wasn't about to start outwardly professing his feelings.

"Yes, Takano-san."

"How much longer are we going to have to wait for your manuscript?" The voice of Takano was cold and at times sent shivers down the man's spine.

"It's on its way. I was told it would take about ten more minutes based on my last text."

In a way it was partially Takano-san's fault the work had been left in his home. Kisa still had three hours before needing to be at work, so he had gone shopping with his boyfriend. While in the store he ran into Ritsu Onodera who was arguing with Takano on the phone. Once finding out that Kisa was there, Onodera had been asked (forced) to bring Kisa with him and come in to work immediately. Neither was happy.

"I am going to talk to the printers in person. I will be back in eleven minutes. If the manuscript is not here you will be responsible for talking to the printers next time."

"Got it boss." Kisa placed his face in his hands and his hands on the desk as Takano walked off. He could feel Onodera put a hand on his back for a pat. It was the younger man telling the older that he understood exactly what was going on in Kisa's head.

/GG/

Kisa's manuscript had finally made it to the building. It was clutched safely against Yukina's body as the man stepped into the elevator. He'd met up with another student on the way into the building, a student named Misaki Takahashi. This other person started out shy, but opened up about his problem by the time they got into the elevator.

"I am lucky Usami-sensei is willing to pay me so much for so little work. This way I can make sure I earn enough to help support this baby."

Yukina listened with a sympathetic ear. He was eternally grateful in that moment that Kisa-san was male and he would never have to deal with 'that' issue. Now that didn't mean he didn't adore children, but as a college student he knew that he'd never be able to take care of any, especially with Kisa-san's schedule being what it was.

"I never thought I'd end up being one of those statistics, an unwed father. Nii-san raised me better than that, but sometimes I get swept up in something I feel like I have no control over."

This comment hit Yukina in the heart. That was how it felt when he'd started going out with Kisa-san! He'd felt as if a tornado had gotten hold and was spinning him absent-mindedly through the sky. What a feeling that was; to ride a tornado.

The door to the elevator opened and another man entered. The other student continued on chattering.

/GG/

Takano walked into the elevator with his usual superiority. Whatever conversation they were having didn't seem to stop when someone else entered, so he half-listened.

"Usami-sensei is a good family friend and I guess he's taken pity on me. That's why I need to go and give this manuscript to his editor for him."

Takano knew immediately who the boy was talking about. Very few knew that Usami was on death's doorstop, but they did know of the author. It was going to be a sad day when the poor bastard finally passed on, but Takano knew he'd suffered a great deal, so it was time to stop the suffering.

"I only hope I can honor my family friend the way he deserves. I am going to name this baby after him, even if it's a girl. The baby may not have been planned, but it's the least I can do for someone who cares about me the way Usami-sensei does."

The elevator stopped on his floor, but Takano didn't get off or let the other two off the elevator either.

"I am sorry for interrupting your conversation, but I did hear you mention Akihiko Usami and the fact that you are saving money for an unplanned pregnancy." Technically the boy hadn't said it in those words, but when those green eyes (that reminded him of Onodera's) opened wide he knew he'd hit the nail on the head.

"Yes." The green-eyed boy nodded slightly.

"Then you are a close personal friend of the great author?"

Takano owed the man a great many favors; including an especially large one from when a drunken Isaka had all but attacked Onodera and Takano wasn't close enough to throw the idiot away. Usami had grabbed the man by the collar and deposited him on a sofa until Asahina could come back from the toilet and retrieve him.

The editor-in-chief also realized if the boy was carrying Usami's manuscript then the author and the boy must have been close. The great author never let anyone touch his manuscripts unless it was his personal editor or that college professor who had been credited a few times. Takano figured he owed the man and that's why he spoke the next sentence.

"I need someone to help me out for a few months. It's pretty much just as a go-for, but the pay is decent and if you can prove yourself you might be able to get hired on full time."

Maybe it was the way the man's eyes mirrored the ones of the man he loved. Or maybe it was all to pay back a great man like Akihiko Usami. Either way he felt right in offering this job to the boy who obviously needed it.

"I-I-I don't quite know what to say." The boy stammered.

"We will have to get it approved, of course, but if you have some time today I will set up a meeting with the man in charge. You can meet with him on my recommendation and you can start as early as tomorrow when you are not running errands for Usami-sensei."

Normally he came across as rather brusque and cold, but even Takano knew how to treat people. He had a feeling this boy was the genuine article in someone that needed all the help he could get. That was at least something he could offer.

/GG/

Onodera was surprised to see Takano return in exactly eleven minutes accompanied by two unknown people. All three were chatting as if they were the best of friends. That fact made him feel a little jealous that these strangers could talk so freely with the man, whereas he had never been able to talk that freely without his heart beating a samba in his chest.

"Onodera!"

The sound of his name caused him to jump from the chair and stand at attention. "Yes, Takano-san."

"Onodera, this is Misaki Takahashi. Show him to Eri Aikawa's desk, then bring him back here."

Ritsu bowed slightly toward the younger man and nodded. "Yes."

He led the man through the maze of cubicles and into the elevator at the far end of the building. The other was rather silent, like lost in thought, so he allowed the silence to continue. Ritsu was more than comfortable with silence.

The remainder of the trip to Aikawa's department (a place that always made Onodera's skin crawl) was quick and painless. He stood by and watched the interaction with interest.

"Ah, you are Misaki-kun! Usami-sensei told me all about you. I haven't heard him sound so alive in months. Thank you for helping make him happier at this time."

Onodera knew about Usami-sensei's battle with HIV and how he was on the losing end of the stick. His father had been informed as well and once a fortnight since the man had started losing the battle, Onodera and his father would go and help the man get his words typed up. When he had been younger The Great Lord had seemed almost invincible, but now his own mortality was questioned. Maybe that was why he had stopped pushing Takano-san away as much.

"Thank you, Aikawa-san. I want to do what I can for Usagi-san since he is helping me." Misaki bowed and Onodera felt the honesty in the younger man's voice.

/GG/

Kisa was thrilled to see Yukina hand over the manuscript since that meant he was off the hook in having to deal with the printers. He was surprised to see how well Takano had taken to the kid. He was even more surprised to hear the phone call that happened once Onodera walked off with the other member of their group.

"I want you to hire him on as my personal go-for for the next few months. The kid can use the money and it would be a personal favor to Akihiko Usami."

From the part that he heard Kisa could tell Takano was talking to Ryuuichiro Isaka.

"I know we don't need one, but this kid is a personal friend of the man who gave you your name. Talk to the kid, find out his story. I expect him to start work with me tomorrow, and no, you cannot say no to me on this one. Everyone in this company owes Akihiko Usami a portion of their monthly pay check, so the least we can do is help this kid. If Usami trusts him as he does, then he's someone we can use here."

The phone was hung up and Takano gave Kisa a smirk.

"Get back to work!" He shouted after his little conversation.

Kisa had no doubt Isaka was in his office complaining to Asahina about how deplorable a man Takano really was.

/GG/

Misaki found himself rather nervous as he followed the other man back to where he'd left Yukina. He didn't expect to see Yukina there since he had a life, but for some reason the man reminded him of someone. That someone was coming up blank in his mind at the moment, but he figured he'd remember eventually.

If what the man called Takano said was true then he may have an opportunity to save quite a bit before the baby was born. He'd be able to continue working for Usagi-san and keep this second job. Then if this one worked out he may have a permanent job after graduating. He wasn't sure how economics would help him working in a publishing company, but at that moment he really didn't care.

The other man was really quite and it kind of bothered Misaki, but he didn't want to say anything for fear of offending said other man. If he was to start working in close proximity to the other man he needed to keep on his good graces. Secretly he hoped to work for this company for a long time if it meant he could provide a good life for his child.

"Are you really good friends with Akihiko Usami?"

The man finally spoke!

Misaki nodded slightly with a smile. "He is my nii-san's best friend. We've known him for years."

"I used to be his editor, for his 'normal' books that is."

"Really, and now you work in…?"

"I moved to the shojo manga department, accidentally, and kind of stuck around." Onodera said with a chuckle. "I miss literature, but I am doing a decent job here, so I plan on staying a while longer."

Misaki sighed. "I'd love to work in manga. I read The Kan religiously, or at least I did until I found out I was going to be a father. That habit died quickly because I am trying to save as much money as I can."

"You are admirable. I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I guess I'm glad I'm…" He stopped before spewing out too much information.

"Oh, are you into guys?" Misaki clapped his hands over his mouth in embarrassment after he realized what he just asked an almost complete stranger.

The other turned and looked at him quizzically. "I wouldn't say I am homosexual, but right now my only 'partner' is a male, so I am in that sort of relationship, I guess." Onodera hung his head in shame.

Misaki could tell how the other man felt about the issue and he empathized. He'd only been touched by a man that one time and it was rather embarrassing. Then again, it had been equally embarrassing to be touched by a girl.

"Can I ask what it's like without offending you?" Misaki asked quietly.

Onodera was a little taken aback by the request. It wasn't often that someone asked his feelings on the matter. The question had been asked in earnest.

"I would never admit this too him, but when he holds me I feel at home. He cares for me and I can see that. While I put up a fight on the outside to keep him away I put up a fight on the inside not to pull him closer."

A vision popped into Misaki's head. It was almost like a repressed memory, but he didn't recall it happening to him. In the vision he was sitting on Usagi-san's lap; they were kissing. The man was completely healthy. He felt comfortable and safe wrapped in the man's arms, in that embarrassing position. Misaki could almost feel Usagi-san's hand reaching toward his…

He snapped out of the vision before it caused him to get hard. Lately he'd been having these feelings about the man and they were confusing him. He'd have visions that were almost like a sense of déjà vu, but he knew they hadn't happened.

/GG/

Takano was on the phone yelling at someone when Hatori entered the area. He'd had to force Chiaki to spit out three more pages of manuscript or threaten to turn of the man's cable television. Sometimes he wondered how and why he'd ended up in such a relationship with someone who needed him more like a mother than a lover.

At least the manuscript was finished and he was able to turn it in to avoid the wrath of their editor-in-chief. Takano was using every foul word in the book and for a moment Hatori wondered if maybe it was Yokozawa the man was trying to kill through the phone. It wouldn't have been much of a surprise to hear that the two were fighting like cats and dogs, again, while at work. At one point Kisa had even set up a bet to see how long the two could go without turning the floor into an episode of Jerry Springer. The span was a whole four days, and that was because Yokozawa ended up getting sick and stayed home for three of the four days.

The editor sat down at his desk and pulled out his laptop. It was time to set up another meeting for turning Chiaki's manga into a third season of anime. The first two seasons went over well, so he was sure a third season would be just as popular.

In the middle of filling out the form he received a text on his phone. He pulled the phone out and looked at the message.

_Can you stay the night?_

Hatori replied.

_I can, if you want me to._

Moments later.

_I kind of miss you, that's all._

Hatori suppressed a chuckle. His usual stoic face rarely had a smile and he didn't want to go scaring anyone.

_You just saw me less than an hour ago._

A few moments later came the response.

_There's a difference between work Hatori, and my Tori. I want to see my Tori. _

The man sighed. He loved Chiaki, body and soul, even if he was the most challenging person in the world to deal with.


	18. Ryuichiro Isaka Monogatari

Here is a chapter for all the Isaka lovers out there (This includes you Risque Tendencies). Enjoy because we start getting into more…next chapter up.

Cheers!

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Ryuichiro Isaka Monogatari 1

**(2011)**

Oftentimes an opportunity presents itself where a person does something without much thought. The outcome can either be taken in a positive or negative way. When something is done with the utmost respect and regard for all involved parties, no matter the outcome, everyone should respond positive. Consider it a learning experience if the outcome is not what people want to see.

What can be considered a tiny gesture to one can mean the world to another. That person may then return the favor in another way or pay it forward and help yet another person. In other words, one can never be too sure who will be affected by a gesture, but as long as the giver is happy, then anyone else down the line should be happy as well.

The weather was balmy and because the air conditioner in his office wasn't working properly Ryuichiro Isaka thought he was sweating like a pig. After having his ass handed to him by Takano a few moments prior he wasn't really looking forward to meeting this boy Usami-sensei seemed to know so well. Isaka was tempted to call Asahina just to complain but he didn't want the other man to come in and lay it on him thick. Why was it that Isaka was the one in charge, but the one who had him like a marionette was Asahina? That man could do anything to Isaka and there was nothing the big man at the company could do about it.

He looked at his computer screen and smiled. The background image was one of the two on a vacation to the Philippines earlier in the year. Isaka wanted to visit Puerto Princessa and see one of the marvels of the world; the underground river. After visiting said river the two had gone to a beach hut and passionately fucked one another senseless, falling asleep on the sand. Both men ended up having an enema to remove all the sand that had gotten stuck in their collective asses.

The clock said it was 1:23pm. He'd give the brat Takano had all but hired another five minutes to show up or he'd leave and that would be that. Isaka, head of the company, didn't have time to sit on his butt and wait for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to show up looking for a job.

At 1:24 there was a knock on the door.

"What?" He asked.

"Isaka-san, it's Ritsu Onodera. I've brought Misaki Takahashi at Takano-san's request." The voice of the rookie manga editor could be heard, barely, through the door.

"Well, bring him in here Onodera. I don't have all day." He shouldn't have taken that tone with the man. The two were kindred spirits after all.

The door opened hesitantly and Isaka could see Onodera standing next to a skinny, punk of a kid. Isaka nodded and Onodera pushed the brat inside and shut the door. Soon it was just Isaka and Misaki.

"What's the matter, it's not like they threw you into a lion's den, come sit down." This was actually stated before the poor boy could even comprehend that the door was shut. Isaka wanted to play with him a little.

"Nice to meet you." Misaki said with a deep bow. "I'm Misaki Takahashi. I work for Akihiko Usami."

"So I've heard. Well, come in chibi-tan and tell me about yourself."

The boy padded across the room and sat in the chair opposite Isaka. He watched how the boy fidgeted slightly under his gaze.

"Um. I guess I am a college student. I recently found out I am going to be a father, so I have started working hard to save money while I finish my schooling. I have less than a year left before I graduate and a little less than two months before the baby is to be born."

"Ah. So you fucked someone and now you are paying the piper." Isaka grinned as the kid shrunk back at his blunt comment. This was going to be fun.

"When you put it that way it does sound bad, sir." Takahashi mumbled.

"Don't worry chibi-tan, everyone makes mistakes."

"So I've been told. Quite often lately, in fact." Misaki claimed.

"Tell me how you know Akihiko." Isaka questioned.

"He was my brother's best friend."

"Was?"

"I kind of caused a falling out between the two."

Isaka then knew who the kid was, but he wanted to see how far the kid would talk.

"What did you do?"

"I told my brother that Usagi, I mean Usami-sensei did something to me."

"What did he do, give you a blow job or something?"

Isaka watched as Misaki fidgeted more in the chair. "It was a hand job, but it was my first time doing something like that with another person and I guess I was talking about it in my sleep."

"Must have been one hell of a hand job if it had you talking about it in your sleep." Isaka smirked.

He watched as a tear slipped down Misaki's face and for a brief moment he felt bad about bringing up these memories if they had scarred the kid so much.

"I would give anything to take back that night, Isaka-sama. It was my fault my brother had a falling out with Usami-sensei. So it is also my fault Usami-sensei is going to die. If I could I would go back in time and erase what I told my brother, and then I would be by Usami-sensei's side forever."

The way the kid spoke made Isaka think back to how he felt when he'd found out that Asahina really was in love with him. The memory of his confession rang clear in his head. This kid was exactly like he was back then, lost.

"Do you love Akihiko like that?"

"I don't know what I feel for him. Whenever I think about him my heart goes doki-doki. I have these sensations of déjà vu then I think about Usagi-san, like he and I had that kind of relationship at some point, but we never did."

"Is your aim to clear your conscious or your heart, or do you care about Akihiko more than yourself?"

This question was to be the deciding factor. He didn't want to hire a kid who was interested in himself or who had pity on a dying man. The kid needed to have some sort of good reason to want to give his life for the last of Akihiko's.

"That's a good question sir. Originally I had wanted to help Usagi-san out because I didn't want my own child to grow up and know that his or her father didn't know how to make amends for wrongs in the past. But it's changed now. I feel at home with Usagi-san. I want to do it to help him, but also because I know that pretty soon I won't be able to go to his house anymore and see him. It's like I am holding him in my hands, but he's turned to water and is slowly slipping away and there isn't a thing I can do about it. I meant what I said when I'd give him my life so he could continue on living. My life really isn't much anyway. But if I die then my child will not have a father and I know that Usagi-san didn't really have much of a father either. I guess I don't have an exact answer for you."

Isaka thought about this for a moment. It wasn't a straight answer, which showed the kid was confused. But there didn't seem to be any sort of selfishness in his answer. He wanted to do it for Usami and for his unborn child.

Isaka decided to speak frankly. "You realize that if you work here then you will be spending less time with Akihiko. Is this what you want?"

"I know that by taking on many jobs I will not see Usagi-san as much as I want, but I also know that he wants what's best for me. I have a responsibility now that I can't just wipe off the table. This is why I am glad I can help Usagi-san with being his courier. When I am not working at taking his manuscripts I am able to be with him by cleaning his house or even just sitting with him. He's really weak right now."

The last sentence was said with a small choke and it was clear the kid really was a mess about the whole situation. Isaka couldn't help but feel he needed to help out where he could. So he called his secretary.

"Asahina, come here please."

Moments later the man appeared. "What can I do for you, Isaka-san?"

"Asahina, take this young man to Takano's and help him get settled in. He will be working here on a trial basis. Tell Takano he was right and that he now owes me a drink." Isaka waved Misaki off.

He watched as Asahina escorted the young man from his sight. It was hard having a heart of gold.


	19. Shinobu Monogatari 6

Sorry, I published the Marukawa chapter before this one when it should have been this one first. So there will be two chapters tonight.

There are some direct quotes from various chapters of the manga present at the end of this chapter.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 6

**(2011)**

The best way to tackle any problem it to attack it head-on. The more a person pussy-foots around a problem the more that problem can overtake the person in charge. When a problem is tackled and put to the side that person's life is generally much easier to deal with and a lot less stressful. If that person dances around the issue then it can build up and become like a volcano; erupting and covering everything in its path.

A good rule of thumb is to not let the problem get so out of hand it becomes impossible to wrangle in. It has been known to happen quite often where a person lets a problem go and then the snowball effect occurs. Soon the problem is too big to manage by oneself. It isn't really a problem to ask others to help out in that situation, but if the problem could have been alleviated before turning to others for assistance then the person who didn't take care of it needs to rethink his or her strategy.

If the act of pacing up and down the sidewalk could have created a long hole there would have been one that was rather deep by the time Shinobu had worked up the nerve to actually set foot on campus. He was standing across the street, or more like pacing, and had been trying to gain enough confidence to go and see Miyagi. After being released from the hospital the older man had come to see him and Shinobu had pretended to be asleep; afraid of what might happen if he looked the man in the eye.

After psyching himself out no less than a dozen times he'd finally managed to get his feet to take him to the school. It was staring him in the face and Miyagi was inside waiting for him to show up (or would have been had he called before hand). And what was Shinobu doing? He was wearing a hole in the sidewalk instead of taking those last few steps.

"You need to stop being such a coward and get your ass across the street!" He chastised himself.

Talking to oneself in public is generally considered a little odd. Shinobu didn't care who looked at him like he was an idiot. He just wanted to get a few more feet toward Miyagi. That's what he did, he walked across the street and stopped. He couldn't will himself to go further. The closer he got the clearer his dreams had started becoming.

_Shinobu had just come home to the house where he and Miyagi lived. He was so excited to think that the place was there, not Miyagi's anymore. The thought made him so excited he almost wet himself in the doorway. _

_The boy put his bag on the hook next to the door and walked inside the living area. He could smell Miyagi's cigarettes and the man's aftershave. The smell made him feel more comfortable than any sort of blanket ever had. _

_Miyagi should have been home as it was the anniversary of the founding of M. University, so no one had to work or go to school. Shinobu went in search of his lover. At times he thought about having one of those GPS chips placed inside of the man just so he could track him whenever he felt like it. Such a little stalker he was turning out to be. _

_Finding his lover wasn't exactly hard in the apartment though. He had fallen asleep in bed reading a book, which had fallen to the floor. Shinobu picked it up and placed it on the night stand. The boy loved watching Miyagi sleep, but he'd never admit that to anyone. Deciding not to wake Miyagi was an easy decision. So Shinobu curled up beside the sleeping man, taking his arm in his embrace, and he too fell asleep. _

The sex dreams weren't exactly gone, but more domestic types of dreams had started to take place. Especially day dreams, which freaked him out more than the ones when he was sleeping. He would zone out in class, on the bus, anywhere. Then he'd wake up and not know exactly what was going on or where he was on occasion. Try explaining to the subway manager why you were sitting on the subway car after the system had shut down for the night. It's not a fun experience.

Plus, everywhere he looked made him think of the man. His brain had turned into Miyagi so that now his every waking and every sleeping thought were on the man. This was beyond some little crush that was going to disappear after a time; this was full blown infatuation. On a few occasions he'd had to stop himself from talking to Risako about the man. It was like he had said in that one dream; his interest was now Miyagi and that man had become his world.

Shinobu looked up and stared at the building that now housed his world. He was so close, yet so far away. Just a wall separated him from seeing the man, but that wall may as well have been built from the strongest steel and been a trillion miles thick because that was how far away he felt at that moment. This caused a tear to well up in his eye.

"Can I help you?"

Shinobu turned, startled, toward the voice. It belonged to someone who looked like a college student, but could easily have been just a very young professor.

"I…uh…just…" He couldn't even think coherent thoughts.

The boy giggled slightly but had a look of understanding on his face. "I'm guessing you are waiting for someone, but are feeling a little bit antsy right now?"

Shinobu nodded, "I'm full of trepidation, but seeing this man is something I need to do. If I don't it's gonna kill me."

"I'm not really the best when it comes to this sort of thing, but do you want to talk about it? That may make it easier."

The younger boy was slightly taken aback at this request since it was so random, but he nodded his head and the two went off to the on-campus coffee shop to talk. He learned that the other was indeed a student. He was going to be a father soon, but had started to fall in love with his brother's ex-best friend. Shinobu almost cried when he found out that the man he was in love with was dying of complications from AIDS. What this other kid was going through made what Shinobu was feeling seem so insignificant.

Shinobu shared his story as well and the boy named Misaki listened with a sympathetic ear. Shinobu felt comfortable telling him about the dreams and how it was getting out of hand. He then learned that Misaki was starting to have these dreams too. Ones that seemed so real, but weren't. In the end the two ended up bonding over the similarities they possessed.

After their conversation Misaki was kind enough to take Shinobu to Miyagi's office.

"Professor Miyagi?" Misaki asked as he knocked on the door. He and Shinobu looked in, but Miyagi wasn't in sight. Professor Kamijou was. "Professor Kamijou."

"Takahashi-kun. I hear from a vain writer that you are helping him out." Hiroki said softly. "I want to thank you for that. He's been much happier with you in his life than he ever was with your brother."

Shinobu watched as Misaki blushed and bowed his head. "Thank you Professor. I love him and want his last days to be as happy as possible." Then as an afterthought. "Professor, where is Professor Miyagi, Shinobu wants to speak with him."

For a few moments Shinobu was scrutinized by the eyes of the other professor before the man spoke. "Miyagi went home early today. He has decided to take the day off on Monday, which is customary on that day. Did you want to leave him a message?"

"No, I can always go to his house I guess. Thank you." Shinobu answered graciously. So much for working up the courage to speak to the guy.

After a quick thank you and a parting of ways, Shinobu found himself walking back home. It was a long walk too. He was able to think and contemplate his position in the whole situation. His list comprised of one main ingredient though; Miyagi. No matter what he said to himself, that old man was still forefront in his mind.

When he couldn't shake the thought he started feeling his heart beat tremendously again. This time it didn't feel like he was having a panic attack though. What was this? Then it hit him. He wasn't just infatuated with the older man; he was in love. That would explain why he was always thinking about the man. If it were just an infatuation he'd be able to deal without much help, but if he were in love that was a whole different ballgame.

/GG/

"What was it like being married to that old man?"

After an internal argument with himself Shinobu had decided it was time to speak to his sister about her ex. He just needed to tread carefully so the older woman wouldn't start getting curious about all of the questions years after the divorce.

"I doubt I can explain that to someone like you who has never been married."

"I just want to get some information for a paper I need to write. Tell me about what you two had in common."

Risako sighed and realized she should just talk or the boy would keep asking questions.

"We both like to read and visit bookstores." She stated.

"What about foods. What foods did you both like?"

"The only food we liked in common would have been cabbage. His tastes were a little more exotic than mine. He would eat what I put in front of him like a good little, boy, but he preferred to try lots of things."

Shinobu was busy making a mental list of everything she spoke about.

"What about your favorite activities to do together?"

At this she did pause for a moment to consider.

"We always tried to eat dinner together, but at times he was away. He was always gone on one specific day of the year too for some reason. He didn't explain to me why he was gone on this day, but he always missed dinner that day too. Other than dinner we would go out to a restaurant at least once a month, until the end that is. Plus we'd come to eat here once a month and at his parent's once a month. Neither of us liked that because everyone was always going on about how hold he was getting and that we needed to start having kids. In truth neither of us wanted children. Miyagi is a number of years older than I, so he figured he wouldn't be able to handle running around after babies."

Risako leaned in close for a moment.

"I will tell you a secret that you cannot tell mom or dad though if it will make you act a little bit more adult, Shinobu."

He nodded, hoping it was something good about Miyagi.

"We had actually talked about adoption a couple of times, an older child from an orphanage. The idea was shot down though when dad told me he wanted a blood heir from both you and me so they could bring our family honor. Yoh didn't want to go against father."

"Then how come there weren't any children?" Shinobu asked quietly.

"The two of us didn't really have much sex. He was in love with his sensei from his high school days. The man was so taken by this woman he still carries around a picture of the two of them. I had only seen it a couple of times, but he treasured that photo more than he treasured me, so I knew it would never work out. Because of his love for this woman I kept myself on birth control. I didn't want a child to be raised by two parents who didn't fully love one another."

Shinobu started to feel a little sorry for his sister in that moment. He sympathized with her for some reason. In no way would he want to be second to someone else in the heart of the person he loved. Risako had gone through a one-sided love, and was even married to it. Such an act couldn't have been easy.

"What happened to Sensei? How come Miyagi didn't just marry her if he was so in love with her?"

Risako sighed and looked at her younger brother.  
"Sensei died when Miyagi was twenty, which means he had been stuck on her for an additional fourteen years before we were married. It also means he's probably still stuck on her and has spent two decades on a love he can never have."

This news hit Shinobu hard. How must it have been to be in love with someone and then have them die? The boy, Misaki, was going through something like that right now. Misaki had even mentioned that he had tried to initiate intimacy with the man dying of AIDS, but said man was not allowing it for fear of Misaki becoming infected. The way the other boy had talked Shinobu figured he wanted to catch the disease so he could die too and then they could have been reunited.

Miyagi was another story though. He had been in love with one person for twenty years. That was almost all of Shinobu's life. To think that someone had spent that much time and energy on loving someone who was no longer even there to love him back. It caused Shinobu to shudder slightly.

It also reminded him of a daydream he'd had a short time ago.

"_I can't compete with sensei." Shinobu cried. "How can I compete with a ghost who is perfect in your mind?"_

_Miyagi sighed and looked at the crying boy before him. "You don't have to compete. We've been over this. _ _I only want you and no one else. Why did you even bring her up again?"_

_Shinobu sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "You were moaning her name in your sleep last night."_

_Miyagi's eyes shot open. He had been having a dream?_

"_Shinobu-chin, dreams are not real. They don't mean anything."_

_Shinobu glared at Miyagi with a tear streaked face. "Yes they do you old bastard. Dreams are the desires of the heart. What we dream is what we wish for. If you are still dreaming of her then how can I even come close?"_

_Miyagi sighed. There was no way to win this argument the way the kid was carrying on. _

"_Do you want to see a dream that I remember having?"_

_Without further hesitation Miyagi picked Shinobu up and threw the smaller boy over his shoulder. He carried the boy to the bed, threw him down, all but jumped on top of him, and proceeded to have the most passionate sex he'd ever had in his life with the boy. Both of them came so often and cried each other's names so much he was afraid the neighbors would end up complaining. _

_Afterward, while holding the little brat Miyagi kissed his sweaty brow. _

"_I don't remember dreams that are not important, but I had a dream about you the other night that made me need to clean the sheets in the morning. We just acted that dream out. If you still think I have some ghost on my mind, you have another thing coming."_

_That was the end of that conversation and Shinobu was more than happy with the outcome. _

In the dreams, he'd started to have a god-like perspective. He knew what the other was thinking, almost like a story written in the third person omniscient. Those dreams were creepy, but he loved having them anyway. The funny thing about the dreams was that in his heart Shinobu knew where they were headed and if he didn't like a part he was able to skip over it or if he did like a part he could slow it down. Having control over his dreams had given him an opportunity to see things quite a bit more clearly than not. And quite frankly, it scared him.

"Risako, do you think if there hadn't been a sensei the two of you could have been happy?"

"That's the weird part Shinobu. It was like Miyagi was always searching for something and I used to believe it was sensei. I wasn't so sure in the end though. Even though he still kept that picture, he would have these strange dreams at night and be calling out for a brat of some sort. He kept calling whoever it was a terrorist, but that he loved him anyway."

This news all but made Shinobu's heart stop and he could feel his face turn red. In one of his dreams Miyagi had called him a terrorist. What in the hell was going on?

"I think this other person was supposed to be with Miyagi, but when I asked him about it he didn't know who I was talking about. It's sad really. I believe there is someone for everyone in the world, but it's like whoever belongs with either of us, Miyagi or I, has passed us over."

_That's because it was supposed to be me!_

The thought made Shinobu bolt upright. Did he honestly just think that? The boy didn't know how to respond to his thought, only that a flood of emotions and memories that weren't his started to attack him in droves.

_I want you to take responsibility._

_It's destiny._

_I used to watch you in the library and wonder who you were._

_I found the one thing that makes me happiest in the world. That's you!_

_I want to be with you, Miyagi. I love you. _

_Make love to me and I will give you up!_

_**I think I want to try loving you, Shinobu.**_

_**Sensei, I love him. **_

_**Didn't you hear what I told sensei? I said I love you the best. **_

_I just want to spend time with Miyagi, where doesn't matter. _

_Miyagi has someone he is deeply committed to!_

The thoughts were accompanied by memories that were like flashbacks. He remembered each and every one like it was something he'd actually experienced. It wasn't just his life anymore, everything in the world was fucked up and he didn't know what to think.

Shaking he left his sister in the kitchen. He wanted…no needed to speak to Miyagi as soon as he could. It was the day Miyagi always seemed to go off on his own the following day. He would find him and get answers.


	20. Marukawa Publishing Monogatari 2

I am sorry. I posted this chapter before I posted the one that should have been before. This one follows Shinobu Monogatari 6, which I have uploaded into chapter 19.

This chapter also includes characters from Marukawa, but ends with Misaki.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Marukawa Publishing Monogatari 2

Timeline –

Onodera was born in 1986

Takano in 1984

Hatori in 1983

Chiaki in 1983

Kisa in 1981

Yukina in 1990

**(2011)**

*********As per the recommendation of two great writers, I am posting a warning at the beginning of this chapter as well as an AN at the end. This chapter does not end happily.*********

The most random of meetings can get the head to start spinning with the wildest thoughts. Then again, random anythings can get thoughts to start spinning around too. Once these thoughts start to become too difficult to understand is when a person really needs to step back and look at what is happening.

Seeing the truth behind the curtain may not always be what a person wants to see. The random thought that opens that curtain may not be a thought someone wants to have. And the reality that is presented may end up causing more pain than happiness.

"Hatori is so mean!" The brown haired man complained as he walked through the doors of Marukawa Publishing. "Why do I have to come all the way down here when I could easily just have faxed the manuscripts over?"

Yoshino Chiaki was not in a good mood. After slaving all night to create a masterpiece his editor demanded he actually walk it down to the company himself. It wasn't his fault he'd caught a bout of the flu. Of course if he had been at home working on his manuscript instead of running off to the amusement park (where he had undoubtedly picked the crap up) he would have finished the manuscript in time.

The man continued mumbling about everything from how horrible Hatori was to how horrible Hatori was. Nothing else was in his mind in that moment except how horrible Hatori was. Still, the name Hatori made his heart pound with happiness because even though the man was horrible, the man still loved him.

Chiaki walked out of the elevator and onto the floor where Emerald Publishing was situated. He knew exactly where to go because he'd gotten lonely one night when Hatori wasn't around and came looking for him. Once he was found, and it was discovered they were actually alone, the two had spent a few hours making love on the editor's desk. The memory made Chiaki shiver with both embarrassment and excitement.

It's funny how in just five minutes Chiaki can go from hating Hatori to loving him more than anything else in the world. No one had yet to explain the intricacies of their relationship; he just went with the flow. One thing was for certain, Yoshino Chiaki would never let the man go, no matter how much he pretended to hate him.

Hatori wasn't at his desk when he arrived, but he recognized Ritsu Onodera. In fact it seemed that aside from one other person whom Chiaki didn't know, Onodera was the only one in Emerald at that time.

"Excuse me." He stated meekly, looking down toward the ground.

Onodera turned around and immediately recognized the man. He shot out of his chair and bowed deeply.

"Oh, sensei!" He then realized he needed to keep quiet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get overly excited. How can I help you?"

"I…uh…came to deliver this to Hatori, but he isn't here I guess."

Onodera nodded. "He, Takano-san, Kisa-san, and Mino-san were called to do some damage control regarding the retirement of a major contributor to Marukawa. The man didn't write shojo manga, but he did write some BL stuff under a pen name and some literature books as well. His retirement hasn't been taken well by the public."

Chiaki thought for a moment and then nodded when the light hit his brain. He'd recalled reading something about Akihiko Usami taking an early retirement from books. The man was considering leaving the country, or so the tabloids had been rambling on about.

"I know who you are talking about. I didn't know it was that bad though."

"I am not sure exactly how bad the press is making it, but coming from someone who knows exactly what is going on, I can tell you it won't end pretty."

Onodera sat back down and Chiaki glanced at his desk. On the desk was a copy of The Kan, only the best manga ever!

"You read this too?" He asked excitedly as he snatched the book from the pile of other books on the editor's desk.

Onodera raised his eyebrows. "Not really, but one of our newer employees does, and I thought I would read it to see what he saw in such a manga. It's not bad really, but not my taste either."

Chiaki's head fell slightly. "What manga do you prefer?" He asked as he took a seat next to the startled Ritsu.

"I guess I don't really prefer any manga. I am more interested in literature." Onodera admitted. He'd rather be editing the stuff too, but Takano kind of had him trapped. And by trapped he meant that if he did leave again it would be too heartbreaking for him, not that he'd ever admit it.

"I don't really read much literature, but I did try the Twilight series once. I didn't like it, too…I don't know."

Onodera laughed at that comment. "I wouldn't call Twilight literature myself; I prefer more adult books anyway."

Chiaki smiled and decided to continue talking. "The Kan is good though. I am sure if you give it a try you may be surprised."

Another person joined the conversation. "Are you liking it at all Onodera-san?" Misaki walked up to his seniors and bowed slightly before introducing himself. "Nice to meet you, I'm Misaki Takahashi."

Chiaki nodded from his seat, but didn't rise. "I'm Yoshino Chiaki. Nice to meet you too. Do you like The Kan?"

At that question the biggest smile graced the younger man's face. "It's only my bible. I love this series."

Immediately Chiaki could feel a kindred spirit in the young man.

"We should get together and talk about it." Chiaki urged. It wasn't often he spent time with people other than Hatori outside of his work life. He could always use more friends.

"Sounds good to me." Misaki said with a smile. "When would you like to get together?"

The older man thought for a moment and realized that the only day he didn't have plans with Hatori was that night. At least for the foreseeable future he had been requested by his lover to make sure he got a head start on his next set of prints.

"Ah, my only free night is tonight." Chiaki lowered his eyes thinking that there was no way the other would be free.

Misaki smiled. "Tonight is my only night available for the next week too, so I can get together."

"Onodera-san, why don't you come?" Chiaki asked shyly.

Ritsu sputtered and just about spit out his coffee. That was not a request he had expected, especially since he wasn't at all interested in The Kan.

"I guess I am free." He stammered. He didn't want to hurt the feelings of any of Emerald's star manga creators.

"Good, then it's settled. I'll send Kisa-san a message and have him join us. The more the merrier I should think." Chiaki was excited. This was one of the first times he'd get a chance to go out in a while.

/GG/

Kisa, Onodera, and Takahashi met up with Chiaki at a posh bar. The place served alcoholic beverages as well as food and other drink, so Kisa knew everyone would approve. Save for the smoking, but it was hard pressed to find a non-smoking joint in Japan.

The four men happily were shown to a table and sat down to order their first round. Before long there were beverages flowing toward them in droves and within an hour Onodera was rather hammered and Kisa was feeling the buzz. That was when the conversation turned a little strange.

"Do you know what it is like to have another man's cock in your ass? Aren't we, as men, supposed to be penetrating something?" Onodera rambled in a drunken state.

Kisa laughed. "Don't think about it that way Ri-chan. Think about it more that we are getting to feel that full feeling, while they don't. I can't tell you how many times I've been the seme, but I prefer being uke any day of the week."

"What's an uke?" Misaki asked with a little bit of confusion.

Onodera leaned over and got into the face of the younger man. "It's when two men are sexual partners and the one who allows a cock to be shoved inside his ass; that man is called an uke."

Misaki's eyes widened. He'd thought about being with Usagi-san that way. "I think that's what I would be, but I've never been with another man before in that way." He admitted. Misaki wasn't drinking anything since it was so close to when the baby was going to be born.

"It's not worth it Takahashi-kun." Onodera snarled as he took another drink.

"Whoa, Ri-chan, you can't hold your liquor at all can you?" Kisa asked trying to take away the bottle.

"Fuck you." Onodera spit before falling into an alcohol coma on the table.

"Don't listen to him Misaki-kun." Chiaki said softly as Kisa tried to wake Ritsu up. "I happen to be in a happy relationship and I love it when he 'takes' me." The man turned a nice shade of russet.

"Does it hurt?" Misaki asked.

"The first few times it did, but I knew he loved me, so I let the pain go. It's the same for a girl the first time too, it hurts them when a man takes their flower."

"Takahashi-kun, being the uke is nothing to laugh about. We are the ones who end up with sore backs and people look down on us. Just because we are an uke doesn't mean we are any less of a man. Some people prefer to be the uke while others prefer to be seme. My boyfriend is more a seme, but occasionally we shake it up. He told me that he wanted to feel what it was like to belong to me, so I 'took' him as it were. Now we belong to each other."

"Have you ever been with a girl?" Misaki asked, not quite sure how the conversation was started. He believed the jaded Onodera was the instigator of this little bit of conversation, but since he was still passed out he couldn't ask.

"Being with a girl is quite a bit different than being with a boy. I was with a girl once and it made me sick." Kisa said with a look of disgust on his face.

"I was a virgin before my boyfriend and I got together." Chiaki stated softly. "He was too, so we have no other experience."

Misaki nodded his head. "I have someone I want to be with in that way, but we can't because he has a rather serious illness. I will never get to feel him inside of me. We have kissed though and I can tell that it's him, he was the one I should have been with, not the mother of my child."

The other two men nodded knowingly. It took a strong man to admit that they were gay, especially when it was considered taboo in so many cultures. Kisa had no problem owning his homosexuality, but Chiaki was so new to the experience of any sort of relationship; the conversation was starting to get rather embarrassing to the man.

They were saved by the bell, or in this case the phone.

"Hello?" Misaki answered his mobile.

"_Takahashi-kun. This is Hiroki Kamijou. I'm with Akihiko right now. I think you should come here."_

The tone in the man's voice made Misaki's heart drop. "I'll be right there." He looked at his companions with tears in his eyes. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go." He said in a hurry.

"Is everything alright?" Chiaki asked.

"I don't know." Misaki had answered truthfully. He just wanted to leave immediately.

/GG/

Less than an hour later he had run through Akihiko's condo toward the man's bedroom. Hiroki was standing in the doorway with the hospice worker. The other man's eyes were red and Misaki could tell he had been crying. This didn't bode well for the boy and he tore into the bedroom faster than he had ever run in his life.

Usami was lying in his bed with his giant teddy bear in his arms. He was wrapped in bandages to keep the sores on his skin from leaking everywhere. Misaki quickly sat on the bed and put his gloves on so he could hold the other's hand.

"Usagi-san?" He choked.

The older man slowly opened his eyes and smiled. "Hello Misaki." He said softly. "I am glad to see you."

"I don't like going a day without you Usagi-san," the boy cried. "It feels like something is missing when I am not here. Like I should have been living here all along."

"I would have liked that, Misaki. Waking up to see you every morning would have made my heart happy."

"I can still move in if you want Usagi-san. Takahiro doesn't need to know. He's busy with work and family anyway. I feel like a burden."

"That's the best thing anyone has ever told me, that they want to move in and put up with me." Usami said with a hoarse cough.

"I can get my stuff and get back tonight." Misaki said with hope in his eyes, though he was trying to hide the pain.

"There isn't time. I just wanted to tell you something." Usami whispered. He pulled the boy closer, or tried to. Misaki had to do most of the work. "I love you, Misaki. More than I ever loved your brother, I love you."

Misaki curled up next to Usami and put his head on the bandages covering the man's chest. He could feel the tears streaming down his face and the snot leaking from his nose. This was not the way it was supposed to be.

"I love you too, Usagi-san." He said as he hugged the older man.

Misaki looked up and kissed the older man softly on the lips. He realized after that Usagi-san was not breathing and that the man had died in his arms.

"Nooooohohohohohoho!" He cried out as he cuddled closer to the man, hugging him like it would bring him back to life. "Please, don't leave me Usagi-san!"

Nothing he could do would ever bring the man back to him. He barely even registered that Hiroki was crying at the foot of the bed and that the hospice worker was calling the hospital. To him there was nothing else in the world.

Until his fucking cell phone went off indicating a text message. He wanted to throw the phone against the wall and shut it up, but something compelled him to read it, even though he could barely see.

_My water just broke._

___  
_/GG/

**I just wanted to thank everyone for sticking with the story for this long. This chapter probably does break some hearts, I cried when I wrote it, I still cry when I read it. I do not hate any of the characters in Sensei's world, so this is not done out of spite. The answer will come in three chapters. In truth I am scared at what people will think. If you comment then please give your honest opinion; even if that opinion is that I should never write again. This story has been completely written and if it would appease anyone then I can upload the last few chapters in a relatively short amount of time. **


	21. Shinjitsu no Monogatari 1

Hopefully after my last chapter there are still people wanting to read this. I will be posting one chapter per day now, sorry if I flood anyone's e-mail with a whole bunch of stuff they didn't want to see. As a reminder as well, if you didn't see that I posted two chapters yesterday, you should go back and read Shinobu Monogatari 6. Things will make more sense in Shinobu's story if it is read before this chapter.

Cheers!

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinjitsu no Monogatari 1

**(2011)**

Whoever came up with the phrase, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" definitely knew what they were talking about. Especially if that box included things like insects covered in chocolate. In the case of a box of chocolates that have such a variety of fillings, a person can get lucky and end up with something they like, or they can end up with something that makes him or her cringe.

Life may look pretty and delicious from the outside but on the inside can look and taste horrible. Each person has different expectations to life and may react differently. It's when a person receives that chocolate that really is horrible looking on the inside, but realizes he or she isn't seeing it as he or she should, that things start to get interesting.

**Shinobu**

The young terrorist had been waiting outside of Miyagi's apartment since six before the old man left the building. He watched as Miyagi got into his car and drove off; Shinobu followed in his father's sports car. This was a matter of sanity; Shinobu needed to know what Miyagi was doing on this day every year. It was at this place he was sure he was going to get the answers he so rightly deserved and wanted.

Miyagi may not have been able to tell him where these memories were coming from, but at least there was one thing that was certain: Shinobu had NOT been abducted by aliens. That thought just happened to be the first one to pop into his head when all this crap started happening to him. He was not going to fall for all that garbage involving aliens abducting people and the like. If anything the aliens had kept him on Earth and were playing with his brain using radio signals or something.

Shinobu continued following Miyagi out of the city limits and then even further down the road. He wasn't expecting to be on a drive for this long and he hoped there was enough gas in the car. The whole trip the thoughts in his mind were Miyagi that and Miyagi this. How could anyone function with only one thought on his or her mind? Oh, right, they couldn't function, which was why Shinobu was in the process of stalking the older man across half of Japan.

Finally they stopped somewhere and Shinobu was afraid he'd end up peeing himself. How the older man (didn't all older men have weaker bladders) didn't have to pee during the drive was beyond him. Then again, Shinobu wouldn't have been able to leave the car for fear of Miyagi seeing him or losing him. He was going to have to hold it as long as he could.

**Nowaki**

On days like that day Nowaki would have been up at the crack of dawn. After being caught in a torrential downpour the prior night he'd decided to stay in till the sun was up at least. At seven in the am he was woken by a few of the children from the center who had all but adopted him and decided he was their new papa. He couldn't have been happier knowing he was making the lives of these children happy. He vaguely recalled having children of his own somewhere, but they were not important, right? Nothing in his life seemed important anymore.

Anyway, he got up and went to the table where his mom was doling out food for the other orphans in the center. He'd be able to eat with them before heading to the bench in the park. His days were spent in that park just waiting. What he was waiting for he didn't quite know, but he knew he needed to be there in order to wait or it was all for nothing.

After finishing breakfast and promising to help people with their homework after supper that night, Nowaki headed out to his place of peace. His heart jolted every step closer to that bench. With each jolt it was like he was being revived with a defibrillator. Each jolt was accompanied by a pang in his chest that felt like it was calling out to someone. It was like a string had been attached to his heart and to that of the man he was waiting for. Only when they were brought back together would everything be alright.

**Misaki**

The waiting area in the hospital was a madhouse. Misaki was there to see about his child, but his head just wasn't in it. Less than five hours prior Usagi-san had died in his embrace. The first person he had ever confessed to had left him on the planet by himself. Thoughts of suicide entered the youth's head, but then he recalled a conversation with Usagi-san the week prior in which the man had told him to be a good father to his child since Usami's father hadn't.

Now that the man was dead, Misaki wanted to do what he could to follow the man's wishes. Even if that meant living out the rest of his life as the guardian of a child whom he would call Akihiko; whether it was a boy or a girl. In truth the boy thought there was nothing left for him in existence. Only a feeling in his heart was keeping him coherent, and the coffee Kamijou had given him before he disappeared somewhere.

Misaki took a gulp of the drink and looked at the doorways in front of him. One lead to the upper levels where Kimiko was busy pushing out the kid. The other door lead to the basement where the morgue was. He wondered if Usagi-san's body had been brought in to this hospital and was in the basement waiting to be tagged and catalogued. It hit Misaki that he had no idea what happened to the bodies after they died. With the older man having AIDS it was probably better if he was cremated rather than put somewhere else where he could infect other people. Then again, Misaki also didn't know if the man could have infected other people after death.

So lost in thought was the boy that he didn't hear the doctor walking down the hallway toward him. He didn't even feel the man stop next to him or hear him clear his throat. The only reason he knew that anyone was there at all was because someone from behind whispered in his ear.

_She's here, Misaki!_

**Shinobu**

The walk couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes. During that time Shinobu had realized they were walking through a very posh cemetery. The grounds had been well maintained, and there were pictures of some of the inhabitants on the gravestones. What a way to call dead people, inhabitants.

He followed stealthily behind Miyagi at a distance of about twenty-five meters. This was far enough away to not be noticed, but near enough to keep an eye on the guy. Shinobu figured early on, after seeing the first grave marker that the man was going to see the long-gone sensei his sister had told him about. While he was interested in seeing sensei, he also dreaded it as well.

Shinobu watched as Miyagi went down on his knees next to a humble looking marker and placed some flowers and a picture on the stone. Silently he crept forward and knelt down in the bushes. He wanted to listen to what Miyagi might say. After the man started talking though he wished he hadn't.

"Sensei, it's been twenty long years without you." The old man started. "I've been working at the university, which you already knew, but something's been missing. I know you said to find someone to love and not hold onto you. It hasn't been easy though sensei."

Shinobu listened intently and could hear the inflections in Miyagi's voice, indicating this was a difficult conversation to have.

"I tried to move on. I dated other women and I even got married. I was so sure she was the one because when I was in the meeting room all those years ago with her family I could feel this presence, like the presence of my soul."

The boy in the bushes just about coughed when he heard this.

"But sensei, if it wasn't Risako then who was it? I did what I could to find this one person I know I am supposed to be with, but I could never find anyone who made me feel like you did. And then when I got married I did feel that person again. I felt that person in the ceremony hall with me, so I thought it had to have been her. It wasn't…"

Shinobu watched as Miyagi started to cry.

"I think it was her baby brother, though I wouldn't have admitted it then. He was there in both places. When he was in Australia I didn't feel that force anymore sensei. Now that he's back I feel that force again, but I don't know how to proceed. How am I supposed to tell this boy, who is seventeen years my junior, that I think we belong together, that it is destiny?"

Said boy started to cry right along with Miyagi.

"I don't know how to deal with these feelings sensei. I want to reach over and tell him that I love him, but I can't seem to find the words. I am afraid of scaring him."

Shinobu couldn't stand it anymore and stood up with a start. Miyagi looked over and the two locked eyes.

**Nowaki**

The park had been rather quiet most of the morning. Nowaki hadn't left the bench at all in those hours. He was perfectly content to sit there and watch the changes in the wind and the few people who meandered in his direction. None of them were the one he wanted to see though, so he paid them no real mind.

Red eyes were the only thing he could see. Not bright red mind you, but more like a reddish-brown, similar to the color in some bricks. He was drawn to those eyes like they were the only thing in the world. He could recall the intensity of the man who had said eyes, the tone of his voice. It had been over a year since he last saw the man, but he never once forgot about him.

That was how it was going to stay until he ran into the man again. On the bench. In the park. He would meet that man on the bench in the park if it was the last thing he ever did in his life. Their future depended upon it.

It was all Nowaki could do to remain coherent at times. His eyes got droopy and he felt tired quite a bit. He wondered if this was how depression felt. Depression was something he'd worked with at his job in the hospital…wait…not the hospital, but when he worked as a social worker. He had never worked at a hospital.

But…did he?

"It certainly took you long enough, Nowaki."

He recognized that voice. It was that voice he'd been longing to hear for months. The one in his head. Nowaki turned his head toward the source and locked eyes with the owner.

**Misaki**

After being told to wait a little bit longer to see his daughter, Misaki had been given permission to enter the nursery. He was in the process of putting on a hospital gown to keep infection down and he complied since he didn't want baby Akihiko to get sick right away. In his head he was a bundle of nerves waiting to explode.

Behind the door was a person who was going to spend the rest of her childhood and possible parts of her adult life relying on him. He was now no longer alone in the world, but had a daughter to take care of. He vaguely wondered why the child was a girl, but then realized it was probably for the best. The little girl would learn to love her daddy and she would always be protected.

Misaki was led into the room by a nurse practitioner and his daughter was pointed out. She was swaddled in a pink blanket and there was a purple hat on her head. He couldn't see her face well because she was turned toward the side.

The new father didn't even wait to be told it was okay to pick the child up. Misaki walked right over and scooped the baby up like had learned when Mahiro was born. This little bundle was his baby Akihiko Takahashi, named for the famous author who had died on the day she was born.

"I'm going to nickname you Usagi-chan." He said softly to her.

At the mention of her name she opened her eyes and he almost dropped her. He could feel his heart almost beating through his chest. Misaki wasn't looking at the eyes of a baby, he was looking at the eyes of the writer.

"Usagi-sa…?"

/GG/

Author's note.

The term in the opening was used in Forrest Gump the movie. I am unsure if the quote appears in the book.

The title of this chapter translates to, "The Story of the Truth".


	22. Shinjitsu no Monogatari 2

I want to thank everyone who has read this story and throw out an extra thanks to those who have reviewed. When I posted the last chapter I had gone back to my stats and saw such a jump I went to see what was being read in that instant. The last chapter had been accessed less than a minute after I posted it; amazing.

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Shinjitsu no Monogatari 2

**(2011)**

One cannot judge a book by the cover alone; or judge a story by a tiny bit of introduction. In order to find the truth of any given situation one needs to follow through to the end. Even if it's hard to digest or hard to swallow in the first place; in order to find solace the end must be reached. Only once the end has been reached will the truth be completely revealed.

The silence of the outside world was deafening on the ears of anyone who was listening hard enough for any sort of sound. Spanning three different bedrooms, in three different areas, three men collectively sat up with a jolt. All three men were breathing hard, in through their noses-out through their mouths. Sweat ran down their faces. The only sound any of the men heard was the sound of their own heartbeats…badump, badump, badump.

/GG/

Author's note.

There are only four more chapters left of this story. The countdown has begun.


	23. Misaki Monogatari 6

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Misaki Monogatari 6

**(2011)**

The heart beating within the chest is a relatively good indicator that a person is alive. If that heart is not beating then there is no life within that person. Of course if one is trying to test if oneself is alive, then it can get a little strange since one must be alive if one is trying to tell if one is alive.

Someone's heart can also be an indicator that something amazing or scary just happened. Often times that amazing thing is a little scary, or the scary thing is a little amazing. It doesn't really matter, the heart is still going to beat like crazy.

Sweat was pouring down the youth's back and face as he tried to see where he was. Usagi-san was dead! No, that couldn't be! Misaki looked around the room and realized he was inside of his own; the one at Usami's apartment. He jumped up and ran from the room toward his landlord/lover's.

The door to the room was shut and he was almost scared to open it and see what lie behind. His heart was beating so hard he was sure the neighbors would hear. Finally, after a lot of breathing he opened the door, slowly.

Inside the room looked exactly the same. If he hadn't just thought the man had died he would have eyed the room with disgust. As it was, the minute he saw the lump on the bed (that wasn't Suzuki-san) move, he fell to the floor in a heap and cried his eyes out.

"Misaki?" The boy could hear the writer moving toward him. "Misaki, what's wrong?" There was genuine concern in the older man's voice.

Misaki looked up and saw his lover crouching over him. This caused him to cry further as he realized there were no sores on Usami's body. The man wasn't dying of AIDS. He reached up like a lost child and pulled his lover to the floor with him.

"Usagi-san!" He cried into that massive chest. Misaki took deep breaths of the man, trying to memorize his scent, which had been forgotten for a time. Arms wrapped around his shaking frame and he was lifted and carried toward the bed. The boy didn't struggle, he didn't fight. The relief was so great he wasn't quite sure how to respond.

Usami sat on the bed with Misaki on his lap and rocked him back and forth. He used a hand and rubbed the crying boy's back; a kiss wasn't going to stop this type of crying. Something had obviously spooked Misaki or the tears wouldn't be this big.

"What happened, Misaki?" He asked in a hushed tone as he continued rocking slightly.

"It was…it was…it was horrible!" Misaki managed to get out before he pushed himself off the older man, grabbed the blanket on the bed and wrapped himself into it.

Usami looked at the blanket covered heap that was Misaki and tried to get the boy to come out. It hadn't worked too well. For his part, the boy was under the blanket because the bed had Usami's smell and the blanket had Usami's warmth. He didn't want to freak the man out anymore than he'd already done, so he was searching for anything besides Usagi to help him forget what he'd just witnessed.

"Misaki, come out here and talk to me."

"No, I don't want to bother you anymore. Just go sleep in my room and let me stay here tonight."

"If anything I am going to sleep in here with you, but you need to tell me why I was woken up to your crying at my door." Akihiko said gently but with a slight bit of force.

"I can't Usagi-san. It was too much. Why did something like that have to happen to you, you've never done anything to warrant that." A fresh batch of tears slid out of Misaki's eyes as he recalled holding the man as he died.

"Misaki, what happened to me?"

"I don't want to think about it, but I can't help but think about it too. Why won't it just go away?"

Usami became a little rough and pulled the blanket away to reveal a Misaki ball in the middle of the bed. The kid was rocking on his side with his hands between his knees and his head bent. The sight broke his heart. He reached over and played with Misaki's hair, rubbing it with all the love in the world.

"Misaki, I am right here. Nothing has happened to me. Look at me and see for yourself."

The younger man just continued rocking on his side.

"You take all the time you need, I am not going anywhere. I promise."

"Don't…," hiccup. "Don't make promises you know you cannot keep."

"I know I can keep that promise my little Misaki. You are stuck with me forever."

Misaki took a deep intake of breath and held it in, trying to keep from crying anymore. Those words, while exactly what he wanted to hear, were not true. No one was going to live forever. Even The Great Lord Akihiko Usami was going to die one day.

"But I saw you die…" He mumbled quietly.

Bingo! Now they were getting somewhere.

"I'm not dead right now, Misaki. Don't think about that kind of thing." Usami curled up behind his little Misaki ball and wrapped the youth into a protective embrace.

"I watched you die. You were dying of AIDS and you had HIV when I met you again, and Takahiro told you to stay away after you jacked me off…and…and…and I never got to make love with you…" The crying had stopped slightly, but not enough to keep his body still.

"That was obviously a dream, Misaki." Akihiko cooed.

"No, it was so real. What if this is the dream? What if I am dreaming that you are not dead, but you really are and I have a daughter with your eyes?"

Those words caused Usami to stall in his petting for a moment. Daughter, since when did Misaki have a daughter?

"You don't have a daughter, Misaki." He said calmly.

"But I do. I had sex with this girl and she got pregnant. You died and then my daughter was born. She had your eyes though, Usagi-san. It was eerie and I almost dropped her. I wonder where she is right now?"

"She's in your dream." Usami said as he turned the boy over so he could look into the youth's face. "Misaki, I am the only one who has my eyes, no one else may have them. Dreams are our biggest desires and our biggest fears. There is much symbolism in a dream, so your daughter in the dream was not really a daughter, but a symbol of something."

Misaki looked into Akihiko's eyes. They were full of concern, love, and slight perversion (but only slight). He never liked to admit it, but those were the eyes of the man he'd come to love, the man he'd decided he did want to spend the foreseeable future with.

"What does it mean that you died though? Why would that be in a dream?"

Usami thought for a moment. He knew the boy was already on thin ice with these thoughts as it was and he didn't want Misaki to fall through. The answer was simple though.

"When you lost your parents that was hard on you, Misaki." He said as he embraced the youth even tighter. "Now that you admit, at least in your mind, that you care about me you probably worry about something taking me away from you like your parents were. That's a normal thing."

Misaki held tighter to Usami. He could smell the smell that was Usagi-san and it calmed his nerves a little. Hearing the older man's voice also calmed his nerves.

"I just don't want you to die." He replied as his face turned red with embarrassment. Misaki buried his face further into Akihiko's night shirt and twined his fingers into the fabric. He could feel the material with his fingertips. It felt rough and smooth at the same time. It mirrored his lover in many ways.

"I worry about losing you constantly, Misaki. I've had dreams where you died, or just decided to leave one day. On those days, when you are not in my arms already, I've had to go to your room and stand in the door to reassure myself that it was only a dream and you are still here with me."

Misaki's eyes shot open at this revelation. Usami had had dreams that were similar! And Misaki had never even known. This thought made his heart sink. He'd just made a big spectacle of it all while Usami had quietly dealt with the issue.

"I am so sorry to be such a bother Usagi-san. I don't know why I couldn't quietly deal with my dream either. But I don't want to leave you, honestly." He said with conviction. "I don't think I'd know what to do without you anymore." Misaki mumbled as an afterthought before hiding behind his hands.

That dream must have really messed with the boy's head if he was spouting out confessions like that. Usually Misaki only confessed such things when he was pissed or scared; or both on occasion. Akihiko had taken to relishing any time his young lover voiced his opinion. Occasionally he would show it with actions, but words were rarely used.

In that moment though Akihiko knew he needed to do something to get the boy's mind out of the dark place where it was currently swimming. The longer Misaki remained in that dark place the longer it would take to get him out. There were many ways to bring Misaki back from despair, but Akihiko (completely true to his nature) chose to be an ass.

"I am still a little hung up on you sleeping with a girl in your dreams though, Misaki."

"It wasn't like with you though, I didn't feel…" Misaki stopped himself before any further embarrassment could occur.

"You know," Usami said with a smirk. "I would get you pregnant in an instant to ensure you were to stay with me forever."

Misaki lowered his hands and glared at Akihiko. "Thank god that's never going to happen." He snarled.

Akihiko smiled. He'd managed, in the course of a few minutes, to bring back his Misaki and all the boy's sweet tsundere personality. Usami would never change a thing about his little Misaki. Still, something was weighting on the man's mind. Something he just couldn't let go.

He realized what he was thinking and decided to act. Slowly he took his hands and pulled Misaki closer to him and placed a heated kiss on the boy's inviting lips. He loved the taste that was Misaki. The younger man squirmed a little, but then started to respond and soon their tongues were dancing and saliva was being exchanged.

Misaki moaned into the kiss and almost welcomed it since it was trying to erase the memories he'd made with the girl in his dream. He didn't want those memories anymore. They didn't feel right.

Usami sat up and pulled Misaki with him. The writer needed to remove them of their clothes and feel skin against skin. Misaki's skin had the sweetest feeling in the world and he loved to bathe in it. Within moments he had the clothes removed without too much of a fight (because Misaki was still a little dazed and confused). Akihiko then leaned in again to place feathe- light kisses along the youth's jaw and lower him to the bed.

"Uh, Usagi-san, what are you doing?" Misaki asked as his older lover gently pushed him to the bed and straddled his hips.

"I am planning on making love to you multiple times tonight Misaki." Usami purred.

"But…but…but, what about…" He didn't get to finish before the older man shut him up by kissing him senseless.

"I need to make sure that the only person you dream about having any sort of relations is me, Misaki." Akihiko hummed in the right ear of the younger man, making the younger man shiver. "I don't want you experiencing another love, even if it's only in a dream."

Misaki could understand why Usami was reacting the way he was, but he wasn't so sure he was ready for what the other intended. At least that was until the other man started to kiss him again and gently massaged his nether region with his cold hands. Then the flashback of being with someone other than Usagi-san hit his mind and he was more than willing to let the elder have his way with him. Even if it was just a dream, the thought of losing the man was too much, so he held on for dear life as his lover showed him the true meaning of the word.

/GG/

**Author's Note**

**Hopefully the truth of this story hasn't turned anyone completely away and hopefully it has made some people a little happier with me messing with the characters so much. While it would have been one heck of a ride to keep the story AU, it had started out a dream and not as an AU in my head. I kept the original thought since that was what I came up with first. **


	24. Shinobu Monogatari 7

**This is an edited version of this chapter because the original requires an MA rating and doesn't allow for those. If you want to read the whole chapter now the entire story is now posted on your fan fiction dot net (all one word) under the same pen name. Thanks. **

**Betsu No Ai o Keiken Suru Monogatari**

Shinobu Monogatari 7

**(2011)**

The world can be seen in multiple ways. There is no real way to know what is real and what is fiction if a person is not paying close enough attention. Even then it's hard to tell because we as humans have no basis for comparison. We just believe what we believe and that happens to be that.

Believing in something else though can be a rewarding experience all on its own. Seeing things from another's perspective can also come in handy. Even if that other person is also us.

Shinobu sat on the bed gasping for air and trying to focus his eyes to the darkness of whatever room he was in. Disorientation had set in and he was at a loss for how to comprehend the feelings pulsating through his head. He could feel sweat covering every inch of his naked body and there were tears streaming down his face in droves. He'd woken up crying because he'd been crying in a dream.

Or was it a dream? There had been many dreams where he'd dreamt of Miyagi, so maybe what he had just seen was reality and everything else was a dream. Where was Miyagi? He had to find Miyagi.

The boy used his little eyesight and his hands to search for the missing man whom he'd given himself too, body and soul. He could feel a lump next to him on the bed and he leaned in closer to make out who he was seeing. After the years they'd spent together he should have been able to tell but after seeing himself with Lorelei and Adam he wasn't so sure anymore.

Said lump was too big to be the petite Lorelei and was missing her extra long hair. Shinobu ghosted his hand toward the face of who was sleeping next to him and felt his hand stopped as he touched the jaw line.

"Shinobu?" The figure asked full of sleep.

"M-Miyagi? Is that you?" He asked though he recognized the voice in the back of his head.

"Who else would it be?" The tired voice asked not really waking up.

"Miyagi! It is you?" Shinobu started openly crying as he fell onto the older man's chest, hugging him tight.

This caused Miyagi's heart to jump. Something was seriously wrong if the young man was this upset. He'd been used to the kid being a little bit off at times, but this way beyond off; this was like an episode of The Twilight Zone.

"Shinobu," Miyagi said gently as he sat himself into a sitting position. "What's the matter?"

"J-ju-just hold me Miyagi."

"Shinobu." He gently shook the younger man and realized said boy was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

Miyagi wrapped the sobbing boy into a tight embrace and ran his hands through the sandy hair the boy sported. Eventually Shinobu would calm down enough to explain the tears and the almost hyperventilation that was occurring. There were only a few times when he seriously worried about his little terrorist and this current happening was traveling up the list at an alarming rate.

"Miyagi." Shinobu mumbled into his chest. "I need you right now Miyagi."

The elder understood what Shinobu was requesting and it made his stomach flop.

"Shinobu-chin." He said as soothingly as he could. "I don't think now is the appropriate time for that."

"No!" The younger shouted. "I really need you…now Miyagi…please."

The sadness in his words and the feeling of the boy heaving made Miyagi's heart bleed with tears of his own. He fought back the onslaught of tears that were threatening to spill because he didn't want to scare the boy any more than he already was.

"Shinobu, there is obviously something really wrong and any sort of action wouldn't be ethical at this point. Why don't you tell me what's going on first?" He tried to ease the boy into a sitting position, which was difficult since he wouldn't release his death grip on the man.

"I will after you make me yours again. Please Miyagi!" The youth looked up at Miyagi from a submissive posture with a look of pleading in his eyes. "I really just need to feel you around me; inside of me. I need to feel you all over me."

Miyagi sighed and knew there was no point in saying no because the younger man had him wrapped around his little finger. Miyagi couldn't say no to Shinobu any more than he could give up needing oxygen to survive.

He gave his ultimatum. "If I, for one moment, feel that you are going to break then we will stop instantly until you tell me what this is all about."

Shinobu nodded into Miyagi's chest and held on tighter as his elder lowered him to the bed and hovered. The young man looked up with an almost animalistic tint to his eyes as his lover leaned over and started to place feather light kisses onto his jaw line.

The sensation sent tingles from his face to his brain and then on to other parts of his body. Miyagi, his Miyagi was causing him to lose it before they had even started. He didn't move though and he kept his eyes open, something he rarely did when they were kissing. Looking your lover in the eye during those intimate moments used to be considered less intimate, but to see the love in the other's eyes made it all the more special. Shinobu really needed to see Miyagi loving him in that moment.

Miyagi found Shinobu's mouth and gently bit his lower lip. He then sucked lightly on it while Shinobu opened his mouth in a silent moan. He could feel himself getting aroused at the minor gesture and knew that his young lover was more than likely on the way himself. Moments later he let his tongue outline the sensitive inner part Shinobu's lower lip and he could feel his reward in the movement of Shinobu's hands roaming his back looking for something to latch onto.

"I love you Shinobu." He whispered before letting his tongue seek out the others.

Normally their love making didn't consist of speaking. It was different this time. There was a different feel in the air and Miyagi knew that it was going to take more than just making love to help Shinobu battle whatever demon had entered his dreams and thoughts.

"…M…gi…" Shinobu couldn't get out a coherent sentence if his life depended on it. The feel of Miyagi's body on top of his, the man's tongue dancing with his, it felt so right. He tried to push thoughts of being the more dominant partner with Lorelei out of his mind. He tried to push the thoughts of Adam's flesh against his out of his mind. Right now all he wanted was to breath Miyagi, eat Miyagi, and make love with Miyagi.

Those thoughts were difficult to get rid of though and he realized that many people probably had the same problem; comparing one lover to another. The major difference he could feel right off the bat was that he and Miyagi were connected on a level that he had never connected with the other two. They were fine in their own way, but Miyagi did something to his heart; his brain, that caused him to feel as if nothing else in existence mattered.

Shinobu grabbed hold of Miyagi's right shoulder and slowly snaked his hand from the blade down to the elbow. From the elbow he followed the lower arm until he reached the older man's larger hand. He entwined his thin fingers with Miyagi's and held on for dear life as his breathing became more shallow with every kiss Miyagi gave him.

"I am here Shinobu. I won't leave."

The words echoed in his head and reminded him of one of the more intimate dreams he'd had while he'd not been Miyagi's lover. Lorelei had said those exact words to him during their last year together. Coming from Miyagi he actually believed them.

"Shinobu?" Miyagi asked after a long length of silence from his young lover.

"Can you please…?" He couldn't finish the request. He'd been with the older man long enough to know that the man would catch on.

"Are you sure?" He could feel the boy shaking still, and not the climax type of shaking, the "I'm scared shitless" sort of shaking. "You haven't shaken this much since our first official time together."

"I need this old man. Please, just give it to me."

Shinobu locked eyes with Miyagi. The animalistic tint had been replaced with the same look his lover always gave him right before they fucked. He wasn't about to fuck his lover though; he doubted the boy's psyche could handle that at the moment. No, they would take it nice and slow. It was rare that the two of them were slow and sensual; Miyagi could have counted the times on one hand and since the younger had moved in they were intimate most days.

"Okay." He said.

Shinobu knew that they would be locked in this embrace for quite a while since the movement was to minimize the sensation. He didn't care. All he wanted was for this moment to last forever. He would have been happy to die in the arms of this man, his lover, if it meant he could remain in this moment until the end of time.

"I love you Miyagi." He whispered softly. He was happy that this embrace was going to last for a long time.

/GG/

An hour and a half later saw two sweaty men sitting in the bathroom together. Shinobu had taken a quick shower first and was sitting in the bathtub while Miyagi sat on a stool and cleaned himself off. Eventually he planned on joining his young lover in the bath, but since the water had to last a couple more days he didn't want to soil it with spunk.

Shinobu leaned over the side of the tub and watched Miyagi clean. It reminded him of a memory with Adam in which he and the other had spent the night in a motel in a similar fashion. Adam had just made mess of Shinobu and the two needed to clean up the mess. It hadn't happened once with Miyagi in their times together, but since Adam was more well endowed than Miyagi poor Shinobu had defecated all over during the session, so both of them had been covered in shit, literally.

Some water displaced as the larger form of Miyagi slipped into the tub. He sat with his back against the edge of the tub and pulled his young lover into the confines of his legs. They sat there in communal silence for half an hour before Miyagi spoke.

"Are you ready to talk about what happened?"

The young man sighed. These were memories he would be more than happy to forget. Why was it that the dreams he wanted to remember always evaded him, but the dreams he wanted to forget became a permanent memory?

"It was like you and I never happened." He started with a hitch in his voice.

"Go on." Miyagi said softly, trying to get the younger man into elaborating.

"I wasn't with you. I n-never loved you."

Miyagi raised his eyebrow but didn't say a word. Right now all that mattered was his terrorist was opening up about something that had caused him enough pain to wake up from sleep with tears streaming down his face.

"I went to Australia and met a girl. We had sex when I was only fourteen."

Still Miyagi remained silent though the age was rather young and it caused his heart to jump at the fact that his little Shinobu had experienced someone aside from him (he always knew the kid hadn't been with anyone else before he'd been with Miyagi).

"We were together for years, all through high school. Then we broke it off when I went to college in Melbourne. I met Adam."

Well this was an interesting thought. Shinobu was experiencing a lot of other options in this dream.

"Adam was good to me at first, but then I caught him cheating on me with a man and a woman I didn't know."

Miyagi wrapped his arms tighter around Shinobu as if to say that you are protected now, so you can continue talking.

"So I came back here to Japan and met you again. I didn't like you and you didn't like me, but all of a sudden I started having these really detailed dreams about you…about how we are right now."

The literature professor thought about this for a moment while Shinobu collected his thoughts. What an interesting concept, this dream within a dream idea was. He'd seen the movie Inception and thought it interesting, but the way Shinobu was talking, his dream self knew something was missing so much his dream self was creating dreams of reality.

"Right before I woke up I had decided to follow you since I needed to talk to you…to try and figure out those dreams. You drove to sensei's grave…" Shinobu could feel tears in his eyes again, threatening to fall. "While at the grave you knelt down and started to cry. You were so sad Miyagi because your life was passing you by and sensei still had hold of you. Because you were crying, I started to cry too. That's when I woke up."

The tears in Shinobu's eyes reacted to gravity and were silently slipping down the youth's face. He just let them fall and land in the water near his chest. For the moment he didn't care because he was within Miyagi's embrace and not in some dream.

"This dream…" Miyagi said. "It seemed this real to you?"

Shinobu nodded his head. "It felt as if I were seeing an alternate reality instead of a dream. Like there is another me out there who needed to experience love from someone else before I could appreciate it from you."

Miyagi sighed softly. "I have, and always will, worry about you thinking your life is missing something because of only being with me Shinobu-chin. I know how important it is to be with me, but you haven't really seen what's out there and I feel as if I am holding you back the way sensei was holding me back."

"I understand where you are coming from, but I can tell you for certain that I don't want or need anyone else. I got to experience others in this dream and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. If it's not Miyagi, then it will be nobody."

With that confession Miyagi turned his terrorist's head around so he could kiss the boy senseless. The way the kid talked was more like an adult than even he spoke. What twenty year old man spoke as if there was no other option regarding love? Most boys Shinobu's age would be placing notches in belts with how many conquests they'd scored. It was sick in some ways. He counted himself lucky that someone in the world wanted him and only him.

"I am glad you had this dream Shinobu-chin." He said after he released the boy's lips. "I don't think a person can grow if they don't experience everything life has to offer. I guess even if it's only in a dream, experiencing another love is important. This way you can choose me with no ill will."

Shinobu shook his head. "You really are corny, old man."


	25. Nowaki Monogatari 7

It is hard to believe this tale is almost over. I've had it completely written for weeks, but I read each chapter before posting it for some reason. Rather bittersweet in my opinion. One more chapter to tie up the story after this one. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and a special thanks to those who are kind enough to review. Hope this chapter meets expectation.

Cheers!

/GG/

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Nowaki Monogatari 7

**(2011)**

Loving only one person in someone's whole life is quite the accomplishment. Most people go through crushes or puppy love throughout their younger years. Very few people are able to say they actually have experienced true and everlasting love. Sure, people will spout it out left and right, especially if it will get them sex. It's those that spout it out and don't want the sex that are a dying breed.

Holding onto that love, even when it seems to not be in existence is a difficult task. Sometimes people forget what they are holding on to, while others just stop caring. Those that hold on through adversity are the lucky ones, because that love is both strong and true.

Nowaki Kusama sat in his bed, shaking, and still seeing red eyes boring holes into his own blue ones. He mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts and for a moment he wondered if he wasn't having a panic attack. Using the skills he knew he had, he checked his heart rate and found it to be rather high. Then again he could feel his heart trying to pound its way thought his chest, so he wasn't really surprised it was a little high.

The man looked over at Hiro-san, the man with the red eyes, and saw his love was still sleeping. Nowaki didn't want to wake him after having such a vivid and strange dream, so he got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He turned on the water and splashed it on his face and let the water drip from his nose into the sink below. His reflection gazed back at him and he wondered how he could have ever thought, even in his dreams, about being with someone other than his Hiro-san. To Nowaki there was no one else on earth.

After wiping the excess water off his face he walked into the kitchen and started rummaging for some sort of beverage. Alcohol would have been nice, but completely wrong for the occasion; he wanted to clear his mind not fog it further. So the doctor settled for grabbing a bottle of juice and took it to the sofa.

_Where had that dream come from?_ He asked himself. He hadn't recalled ever having a dream like that before. Nowaki remembered reading somewhere that it was the dreams a person would rather forget that were the hardest to get rid of. Contrary wise, it was the dreams a person wanted to remember that were the easiest to forget. This was one of the dreams he was never going to forget.

For a fleeting moment Nowaki actually thought about copying the dream down and showing it to Hiro-san's writer friend, but that would have led to one of two things. 1. The dream would have ended up in a new story (literature or otherwise). 2. The man would tell Hiro-san that Nowaki was dreaming about women, which would have ended up with some ridiculous argument. Neither sounded like good ideas.

There was always Hiro-san's superior at work too, but Nowaki had a love-hate relationship with the man. He loved that Professor Miyagi was able to bring out the best in Hiro-san's teaching and writing abilities. Hiro-san was always going off on how he wanted to top (not sexually) his superior at work so he could wipe that impish grin off his overgrown face. Nowaki also hated the man because Hiro-san was with him so much during the day, times when Nowaki wasn't able to see him.

Okay, he was able to admit to himself that he didn't actually hate either of the men in his Hiro-san's life. Nowaki had aged and grown away from the jealousy he'd had toward the two years ago. In reality he was more envious of them for having a place in Hiro-san's heart that he himself would never be able to have.

_That must have been how Shizuka felt toward the end, when my thoughts were only on sitting on the bench and waiting._

Not being a professional writer wasn't going to keep Nowaki from writing this down. Eventually he may build up the nerve to seek out the meanings behind what he dreamt about. So the tall man with blue eyes took out a notebook and started jotting down what he remembered.

One hour later

Nowaki had finished writing and was now staring at the notebook like it was taboo. Within that notebook was a detailed account of things he had done without Hiro-san. The thought made him sad that the man he was completely in love with was hardly part of the story.

"Nowaki?"

The gentle giant was startled by the voice and turned around in surprise to see Hiro-san standing behind the sofa, rubbing his shoulder. Obviously the man was still tired as he was yawning, but there was a look of concern in his little tsundere's eyes. Those were the looks that made Nowaki's heart melt.

"Sorry, Hiro-san. Did I wake you?"

"No, and yes." Hiroki stated as he came round the sofa and sat next to Nowaki. "I didn't hear you out here. I just felt like something was missing and I woke up." Immediately a deep blush crept across the man's face as he bowed his head in embarrassment.

Nowaki grinned. "Hiro-san is so cute when he's tired."

"Shut up, brat." The older man said as he playfully shoved the younger away. "What are you doing up at this hour on a day when you don't have to work?"

"I had this strange dream Hiro-san. It kind of worried me, but I didn't want to bother you, so I left the room to think about it."

Hiroki looked over at Nowaki and saw that his face was a little downcast, so whatever the man had in his head was obviously playing with him. Far be it for him to deny that when he saw Nowaki like that it didn't pull at his heartstrings. Nowaki was the most important person in the world to him and when the giant was sad, it made Hiroki sad too.

"What kind of dream would cause you, of all people, to get so worked up?"

Nowaki handed Hiro-san the book where he'd just written the dream. He'd allow the professor to read and he could narrate at the same time. That way if anything was missing in either account the other would be able to find out the whole story.

Hiroki listened and read as a tale was woven for him like the intricate pattern in one of those old woven blankets. What Nowaki was telling him had his eyes popped open and a feeling of awe in his head. It wasn't uncommon for someone to dream about what life might have been like if they were to follow a different path, but to know in a person's heart that he or she didn't want that path and slowly change it wasn't common. Lucid dreams were rare and even Hiroki wasn't able to pull that off. Nowaki must have had some pretty powerful feelings to be able to break away from the storybook family and find what he was truly seeking.

He looked at the man he'd given his heart too and fell in love all over again. Nowaki had been given a chance to see what it was like to have kids (something Hiroki regretted he would never be able to give to Nowaki) and the man had still chosen him. In that moment he never felt more loved then he had ever felt in his whole life.

The literature professor knew there wasn't much merit to dreams; most of it was just symbolism anyway (Akihiko would back him up on that). Still, he did wonder if Nowaki ever felt like he was missing out and that was why the dream was so detailed. The Hiroki character in the dream wasn't technically him; it was more of the longing Nowaki had for his lover. So did Hiroki even show up in the dream?

"Are you okay, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked with concern. The tables had turned.

"This is quite the story here. If I didn't know better I'd have thought you'd written a novella."

"That is only what I can remember, but it doesn't really mean anything."

Hiroki nodded. "I know, I just don't want you to feel like you are missing out. I know you want kids and I can never give that to you."

Nowaki blinked and pulled Hiro-san into a hug, which caused the older man to flail. Once the professor stilled and let Nowaki hold him, the man spoke. "Even in my dream Hiro-san, I gave up on kids I'd already had to be with you. I know we won't ever have children, but I don't want them if it means I can't keep you."

Inside Hiroki was glad to hear that and he was jumping around like a little child. Outwardly he was just a stoic as usual. Never would he show that inner child to anyone, especially Nowaki.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Yes, Hiro-san."

"I am glad that even though you were able to experience another love, you still chose me." He said shyly. "And…in the dreams I've had that were similar, I always chose you too."

Nowaki's eyes went wide at the thought and a huge grin plastered his face.

"You've had similar dreams?"

Hiroki lowered his head and sighed. "I don't usually go for girls, normally it's people from my past…" He admitted. Then he looked up with a growl. "But I always woke up before anything could happen, so in other words, I chose and will always choose you, Nowaki."

With those final words Hiroki Kamijou stood up and stalked back to the bedroom. He never wanted to admit such a thought again. Even if it did make his overly-affectionate giant happy.

Nowaki watched Hiro-san stalk off with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. That man was never much for saying sweet things, but to hear those words roll off the older man's tongue was like music to the doctor's ears. It made him fall in love all over again.

"Nowaki."

He looked over and saw Hiro-san standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Nowaki…I'm cold." Hiroki stated with a blush.

The other man stood up with a grin and walked toward the bedroom. He wouldn't change any single part of his life, as long as when he came home his Hiro-san was waiting for him. That was all he really needed.

"Right, Hiro-san."


	26. Monogatari No Owari

**Betsu ****N****o ****A****i ****o****K****eiken ****S****uru ****M****onogatari**

Monogatari No Owari

**(2012)**

Dreams can be funny sometimes. Without even being aware a dream can tell us our secret desires. Or a dream can tell us our biggest fears. Many times the dreams we wish to forget are the ones we remember the most. They can become part of our memories and even affect our daily lives. Then those dreams can become a reality, at least to the people being affected.

One mustn't discount dreams though, even if we want to forget. For within a dream can lie a clue to what we must do to keep ourselves on the path we want to follow. Think of a dream as that inner voice giving us guidance when we are at odds with ourselves. Perhaps if we just listened to this voice a whole slew of problems could be avoided.

/GG/

"Akihiko, I swear by the grace of god, if you do not step away from me with that thing I will toss your precious little Takahashi-brat out the window!" Kamijou snarled as he backed away from Akihiko trying to put him in a hot pink tie.  
"Hiro-san, that's not very nice. What would hurting Takahashi-kun do to help the situation?" Nowaki intervened.  
"Because, you overgrown idiot," Hiroki spit. "If I toss the little brat out the window then the big brat who calls himself a writer will jump out too." He glared at Misaki with an evil glint in his eye, making the poor kid gulp.  
"You'll do no such thing, Hiroki." Akihiko said calmly. "You are like a declawed pussy cat. You can take a swipe at people, but it doesn't really hurt."  
"Usagi-san. Why don't you let Professor Kamijou pick his own tie? He is an adult." Misaki pulled on Usami's jacket sleeve softly.  
"Don't worry about the big bad professor here Misaki. I'll protect you." Usami said with a grin. He swooped in and placed a kiss on the unsuspecting youth's lips, causing the kid to stumble back and  
sputter.  
Misaki fell to the ground after hitting a pile of books.  
"Hey, watch the books!" Miyagi shouted. "Those are first editions."  
"Then why the fuck did you leave them on the floor, old man?" Shinobu asked from the sofa.

/GG/GG/GG/GG/  
Okay, back up. Here's how this little tiff started.

Misaki had actually managed to graduate from university! Not necessarily at the top of his class, but with enough to keep his job and get a pay raise at Marukawa publishing. Obviously since he was graduating there were meant to be a great many individuals showing up, including his lover (I mean, landlord) Akihiko Usami.

Usami, who is friends with the faculty speaker at the graduation, had decided to come and bug said speaker about the speech. Hiroki Kamijou was not impressed and had managed to lock himself and Nowaki Kusama into his office. Everything had been going fine until Professor Yoh Miyagi had shown up, with his little terrorist stalking behind him, complaining about having been woken too early on a Saturday morning.

Professor Miyagi saw that the door was locked, so he opened the door and that was when Akihiko barged in, much to the chagrin of the occupants, who were in a heated embrace. After quite a few colorful words thrown at the author (because Nowaki wouldn't let books become weapons on such a big day) things had started to settle down. At least until Usami had decided that the blue tie Hiroki had been wearing wasn't bright enough to attract attention.

Using the powers at his disposal the man who doesn't take no for an answer, had a selection of ties shipped to the school. Misaki had yelled at said man for wasting money since he hadn't planned on using the ties in any way, save that day. This match ended with Usami trapping the boy to the sofa and one embarrassed terrorist shouting at the two to get a hotel room, the sofa belonged to Miyagi and him since they were constantly consummating on the piece of furniture.

This comment almost ended in a fist fight as various individuals (Miyagi and Kamijou, namely) argued over proper places to fuck. Miyagi had won that fight by bringing up the time in the library from years ago, which caused two young adults to gaze at Nowaki and Hiroki in wonder. Misaki didn't want to even try it, even though Akihiko said they would whether the soon to be graduate wanted to or not. Shinobu glared at Miyagi and asked why they never got to use the library.

This caused a collective sigh to emit from the two who wanted to bloody the carpet, and it became calm for a time. Until the ties showed up that was. Once the ties showed up, all hell broke loose. And that was how the argument about pink ties had started.

/GG/GG/GG/GG/

Misaki had managed to keep Usagi-san from changing the professor's tie by kissing the man and then running from the room. Usami chased after the boy and brought him back, looking a little more flushed than he should have. Shinobu ended up laughing since he couldn't understand why Misaki was so embarrassed about public displays of affection.

"Listen brat!" Hiroki snapped at the dean's son. "Just because you and Miyagi are exhibitionists, doesn't mean the rest of us are."

"I've caught you in some pretty compromising positions myself, so don't even try to use that excuse." Shinobu snapped back.

Miyagi and Nowaki separated their respective partners to different sides of the room until both could cool down. The ceremony was set to start in less than an hour and what the university didn't need was the speaker at the assembly to end up in jail for killing the dean's son. That kind of thing just doesn't look good when attempting to up enrollment.

"I still think you should wear one of these ties, Hiroki." Usami said, holding up a paisley thing that would have made a blind person cringe.

"If you think for one minute I am going to wear something that gaudy then you have another thing coming." Kamijou spit back as he finished tying the tie he actually planned on wearing. "Besides, this was given to me by someone special and I am not going to replace that type of feeling with something from your collection of crap."

"You mean your whipped puppy dog got you the tie, right?" Usami winked at the young doctor.

"Fuck you!" Hiroki roared as he got ready to launch the nearest object not tied down to the floor.

"It's alright Hiro-san. I am not even listening to him." Nowaki assured his lover.

"You should listen to your elders." Akihiko deadpanned as he took out a cigarette.

"Knock it off!" Misaki shouted. "Doctor Kusama, I am so sorry about Usami-san. He doesn't seem to have a filter on his mouth and he never had tact."

Nowaki smiled at the younger man and patted him on the head, earning a glare from both Usami and Kamijou. "It's okay, Takahashi-kun. I have learned how to take what he says with a grain of salt."

The banter continued on for a time; sometimes heated and sometimes ridiculous. The dreams of the story became a memory of the past and the hopes of the future became wishes of the present. No one really has to listen to a dream and sometimes a dream isn't realized until it is right on top of someone.

Miyagi and Shinobu stood in the doorway to the office and watched as Misaki and Nowaki kept two very stubborn men from killing one another. Both had smiles on their faces, though one was much bigger than the other. The couple entwined their fingers and didn't care if anyone else saw.

/GG/

**Author's note. **

**I wanted to explain how this story developed since it may have come as a shock to some people. Originally when I thought of writing this I was thinking something along the lines of "It's a Wonderful Life", where otherworldly forces gave the characters an opportunity to see the other side. In my opinion I like how the canon is and adore the characters with their respective partners. I just like to play around and create shock value, which I did with this story in spades. **

**After moving slightly away from the "It's a Wonderful Life" idea I was given some advice such as the Ghosts of Past, Present, and Yet To Come from "A Christmas Carol". This idea might have worked too, but I wanted to create something that people wouldn't be able to tell immediately that something was 'off'. I wanted the reader(s) to feel as if this story was just AU and nothing more. **

**How I came up with the dream idea was from a real-life situation. I was not involved in this situation, but it is public knowledge if anyone wants to look it up. The show "Married With Children" incorporated the pregnancy of actress Katey Sagal into one of the seasons. This is common in shows to avoid going on hiatus. Sadly, after quite a bit of the season, Katey miscarried. The show had already aired a number of episodes telling viewers that there would be a new child added to the Bundy family. In order to make sense of this predicament, after Katey was willing, the producers turned the season into a dream. So almost an entire season was written to be a dream and the show moved on as if it had never happened. I commend Katey for being so brave during such a difficult time and for allowing such an idea to be written. **

**This is how the change over took place. I wanted the story to feel as real as possible to 'shock' the reader when the truth came out. I hope people like how this story has ended. As well, there is a lot of symbolism when in the dreams themselves. If anyone has studied dreams then they may be able to pick up on some of the symbols I stuck throughout. If not and there are any questions then do not hesitate to ask. I don't bite. Thanks for reading. **

**The translation for the title is – The Story of the End.**

**Cheers!**


End file.
